ytESE*  i 


Wanticli  ^iHam 


a 


i.    All 
Library. 


residents- 


take     Books    from    the 


2.  The    Library    shall    be 
WednesdaVs^aftd  Saturdays, 


open    to    the  public 
from  2  to  8  p.  m. 


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DUKE  UNIVERSITY 


LIBRARY 


The  Gay  Wilson  and  Evie  Allison  Allen 
Collection 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 


BY 


L.     M.     ALCOTT, 


"  Which,  naming  no  names,  no  offence  could  be  took."—  Sairy 
Gamp. 


BOSTON : 

JAMES    REDPATII,    Publisher, 

221  Washington  Street. 

18G3. 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1803,  by 

JAMES    REDPATII, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  District  of  Massachusetts. 


THESE  SKETCHES 

AEE        RESPECTFULLY        DEDICATE© 
TO    HER   FRIEND 

MISS  HANNAH  STEVENSON, 

BY 
L  .     M  .      A  . 


PUBLISHER'S  ADVERTISEMENT. 


A  considerable  portion  of  this  volume  was  published  in  suc- 
cessive numbers  of  The  Commonwealth,  newspaper,  of  Bos- 
ton. The  sudden  popularity  the  Sketches  won  from  the  gen- 
eral public,  and  the  praise  they  received  from  literary  men  of 
distinguished  ability,  are  sufficient  reasons, — were  any  needed, 
— for  their  re-publication,  thus  revised  and  enlarged,  in  this 
more  convenient  and  permanent  form.  As,  besides  paying 
the  Author  the  usual  copyright,  the  publisher  has  resolved  to 
devote  at  least  five  cents  for  every  copy  sold  to  the  support  of 
orphans  made  fatherless  or  homeless  by  the  war,  no  reproduc- 
tion of  any  part  of  the  contents  now  first  printed  in  these 
pages,  will  be  permitted  in  any  journal.  Should  the  sale  of  the 
little  book  be  large,  the  orphans'  percentage  will  be  doubled. 

Boston,  August,  1863. 


CONTENTS. 


Chapter  I.     Obtaining  Supplies. 
Chapter  II.     A  Forward  Movement 
Chapter  III.     A  Day. 
Chapter  IV.     A  Night. 
Chapter  V.     Of*1  Duty.     . 
Chapter  VI.     A  Postscript. 


page 
10 

21 

31 

46 

64 

84 


HOSPITAL  SKETCHES. 


CHAPTER  I. 

OBTAINING    SUPPLIES. 

"  I  want  something  to  do." 

This  remark  being  addressed  to  the  world  in  general,  no 
one  in  particular  felt  it  their  duty  to  reply  ;  so  I  repeated  it 
to  the  smaller  world  about  me,  received  the  following  sugges- 
tions, and  settled  the  matter  by  answering  my  own  inquiry,  as 
people  are  apt  to  do  when  very  much  in  earnest. 

11  Write  a  book,"  quoth  the  author  of  my  being. 

"  Don't  know  enough,  sir.     First  live,  then  write." 

"  Try  teaching  again,"  suggested  my  mother. 

"  No  thank  you,  ma'am,  ten  years  of  that  is  enough." 

"  Take  a  husband  like  my  Darby,  and  fulfill  your  mission," 
said  sister  Joan,  home  on  a  visit. 

"  Can't  afford  expensive  luxuries,  Mrs.  Coobiddy." 

"Turn  actress,  and  immortalize  your  name,"  said  sister 
Yashti,  striking  an  attitude. 

"  I  won't." 

"  Go  nurse  the  soldiers, "said  my  young  brother,  Tom,  pant- 
ing for  "  the  tented  field." 

"  I  will !" 


10  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

So  far,  very  good.  Here  was  the  will — now  for  the  way. 
At  first  sight  not  a  foot  of  it  appeared,  but  that  didn't  mat- 
ter, for  the  Periwinkles  are  a  hopeful  race ;  their  crest  is  an 
anchor,  with  three  cock-a-doodles  crowing  atop.  They  all 
wear  rose-colored  spectacles,  and  are  lineal  descendants  of  the 
inventor  of  aerial  architecture.  An  hour's  conversation  on 
the  subject  set  the  whole  family  in  a  blaze  of  enthusiasm.  A 
model  hospital  was  erected,  and  each  member  had  accepted  an 
honorable  post  therein.  The  paternal  P.  was  chaplain,  the 
maternal  P.  was  matron,  and  all  the  youthful  P.s  filled  the 
pod  of  futurity  with  achievements  whose  brilliancy  eclipsed 
the  glories  of  the  present  and  the  past.  Arriving  at  this  sat- 
isfactory conclusion,  the  meeting  adjourned,  and  the  fact  that 
Miss  Tribulation  was  available  as  army  nurse  went  abroad  on 
the  wings  of  the  wind. 

In  a  few  days  a  townswoman  heard  of  my  desfcfc,  approved 
of  it,  and  brought  about  an  interview  with  one  of  the  sister- 
hood which  I  wished  to  join,  who  was  at  home  on  a  furlough, 
and  able  and  willing  to  satisfy  all  inquiries.  A  morning  chat 
with  Miss  General  S. — we  hear  no  end  of  Mrs.  Generals,  why 
not  a  Miss? — produced  three  results  :  I  felt  that  I  could  do 
the  work,  was  offered  a  place,  and  accepted  it,  promising  not 
to  desert,  but  stand  ready  to  march  on  Washington  at  an 
hour's  notice. 

A  few  days  were  necessary  for  the  letter  containing  my  re 
quest  and  recommendation  to  reach  headquarters,  and  another, 
containing  my  commission,  to  return  ;  therefore  no  time  was 
to  be  lost ;  and  heartily  thanking  my  pair  of  friends,  I  tore 
home  through  the  December  slush  as  if  the  rebels  were  after 
me,  and  like  many  another  recruit,  burst  in  upon  my  family 
with  the  announcement — 

"I've  enlisted!" 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  11 

An  impressive  silence  followed.  Tom,  the  irrepressible, 
broke  it  with  a  slap  on  the  shoulder  and  the  graceful  com- 
pliment— 

"  Old  Trib,  you're  a  trump  I" 

J*  Thank  you  ;  then  I'll  take  something  :"  which  I  did,  in 
the  shape  of  dinner,  reeling  off  my  news  at  the  rate  of  three 
dozen  words  to  a  mouthful ;  and  as  every  .one  else  talked 
equally  fast,  and  all  together,  the  scene  was  most  inspiring. 

As  boys  going  to  sea  immediately  become  nautical  in  speech, 
walk  as  if  they  already  had  their  "  sea  legs  "  on,  and  shiver 
their  timbers  on  all  possible  occasions,  so  I  turned  military  at 
once,  called  my  dinner  my  rations,  saluted  all  new  comers, 
and  ordered  a  dress  parade  that  very  afternoon.  Having  re- 
viewed every  rag  I  possessed,  I  detailed  some  for  picket  duty 
while  airing  over  the  fence ;  some  to  the  sanitary  influences  of 
the  wash-tub  ;  others  to  mount  guard  in  the  trunk  ;  while  the 
weak  and  wounded  went  to  the  Work-basket  Hospital,  to  be 
made  ready  for  active  service  again.  To  this  squad  I  devoted 
myself  for  a  week  ;  but  all  was  done,  and  I  had  time  to  get 
powerfully  impatient  before  the  letter  came.  It  did  arrive 
however,  and  brought  a  disappointment  along  with  its  good 
will  and  friendliness,  for  it  told  me  that  the  place  in  the  Ar- 
mory Hospital  that  1  supposed  I  was  to  take,  was  already 
filled,  and  a  much  less  desirable  one  at  Hurly-burly  House 
was  offered  instead. 

"  That's  just  your  luck,  Trib.  I'll  tote  your  trunk  up 
garret  for  you  again  ;  for  of  course  you  won't  go,"  Tom  re- 
marked, with  the  disdainful  pity  which  small  boys  affect  when 
they  get  into  their  teens.  I  was  wavering  in  my  secret  soul, 
but  that  settled  the  matter,  and  I  crushed  him  on  the  spot 
with  martial  brevity — 

"  It  is  now  one ;  I  shall  march  at  six." 


12  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES 

I  have  a  confused  recollection  of  spending  the  afternoon  in 
pervading  the  house  like  an  executive  whirlwind,  with  my 
family  swarming  after  me,  all  working,  talking,  prophesying 
and  lamenting,  while  I  packed  my  "  go-abroady  "  possessions, 
tumbled  the  rest  into  two  big  boxes,  danced  on  the  lids  till 
they  shut,  and  gave  them  in  charge,  with  the  direction, — 

"  If  I  never-come  back,  make  a  bonfire  of  them." 

Then  I  choked  down  a  cup  of  tea,  generously  salted  instead 
of  sugared,  by  some  agitated  relative,  shouldered  my  knap- 
sack— it  was  only  a  traveling  bag,  but  do  let  me  preserve  the 
unities — hugged  my  family  three  times  all  round  without  a 
vestige  of  unmanly  emotion,  till  a  certain  dear  old  lady  broke 
down  upon  my  neck,  with  a  despairing  sort  of  wail — 

"  Oh,  my  dear,  my  dear,  how  can  I  let  you  go?" 

"  I'll  stay  if  you  say  so,  mother." 

"  But  I  don't ;  go,  and  the  Lord  will  take  care  of  you." 

Much  of  the  Roman  matron's  courage  had  gone  into  the 
Yankee  matron's  composition,  and,  in  spite  of  her  tears,  she 
would  have  sent  ten  sons  to  the  war,  had  she  possessed  them, 
as  freely  as  she  sent  one  daughter,  smiling  and  flapping  on  the 
door-step  till  I  vanished,  though  the  eyes  that  followed  me 
were  very  dim,  and  the  handkerchief  she  waved  was  very 
wet. 

My  transit  from  The  Gables  to  the  village  depot  was  a  funny 
mixture  of  good  wishes  and  good  byes,  mud-puddles  and  shop- 
ping. A  December  twilight  is  not  the  most  cheering  time  to 
enter  upon  a  somewhat  perilous  enterprise,  and,  but  for  the 
presence  of  Vashti  and  neighbor  Thorn,  I  fear  that  I  might 
have  added  a  drop  of  the  briny  to  the  native  moisture  of — 

"  The  town  I  left  behind  me  ;" 
though  I'd  no  thought  of  giving  out :  oh,   bless  you,   no  ! 
When  the  engine  screeched  "Here  we  are,"  I  clutched  my 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  13 

escort  in  a  fervent  embrace,  and  skipped  into  the  car  with  as 
blithe  a  farewell  as  if  going  on  a  bridal  tour — though  I  be- 
lieve brides  don't  usually  wear  cavernous  black  bonnets  and 
fuzzy  brown  coats,  with  a  hair-brush,  a  pair  of  rubbers,  two 
books,  and  a  bag  of  ginger-bread  distorting  the  pockets  of  the 
same.  If  I  thought  that  any  one  would  believe  it,  I'd  boldly 
state  that  I  slept  from  C.  to  B.,  which  would  simplify  matters 
immensely ;  but  as  I  know  they  wouldn't,  I'll  confess  that 
the  head  under  the  funereal  coal-hod  fermented  with  all  man- 
ner of  high  thoughts  and  heroic  purposes  "  to  do  or  die,"  — 
perhaps  both  ;  and  the  heart  under  the  fuzzy  brown  coat  felt 
very  tender  with  the  memory  of  the  dear  old  lady,  probably 
sobbing  over  her  army  socks  and  the  loss  of  her  topsy-turvy 
Trib.  At  this  juncture  I  took  the  veil,  and  what  I  did  be- 
hind it  is  nobody's  business  ;  but  I  maintain  that  the  soldier 
who  cries  when  his  mother  says  "  Good  bye,"  is  the  boy  to 
fight  best,  and  die  bravest,  when  the  time  comes,  or  go  back 
to  her  better  than  he  went. 

Till  nine  o'clock  I  trotted  about  the  city  streets,  doing  those 
last  errands  which  no  woman  would  even  go  to  heaven  with, 
out  attempting,  if  she  could.  Then  I  went  to  my  usual  ref- 
uge, and,  fully  intending  to  keep  awake,  as  a  sort  of  vigil 
appropriate  to  the  occasion,  fell  fast  asleep  and  dreamed  pro- 
pitious dreams  till  my  rosy-faced  cousin  waked  me  with  a  kiss. 

A  bright  day  smiled  upon  my  enterprise,  and  at  ten  I  re- 
ported myself  to  my  General,  received  last  instructions  and 
no  end  of  the  sympathetic  encouragement  which  women  give, 
in  look,  touch,  and  tone  more  effectually  than  in  words.  The 
next  step  was  to  get  a  free  pass  to  Washington,  for  I'd  no 
desire  to  waste  my  substance  on  railroad  companies  when 
"  the  boys  "  needed  even  a  spinster's  mite.  A  friend  of  mine 
had  procured  such  a  pass,  and  I  was  bent  on  doing  likewise, 


14  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

though  I  had  to  face  the  president  of  the  railroad  to  accomplish 
it.  I'm  a  bashful  individual,  though  I  can't  get  any  one  to 
believe  it;  so  it  cost  me  a  great  effort  to  poke  about  the 
Worcester  depot  till  the  right  door  appeared,  then  walk  into  a 
room  containing  several  gentlemen,  and  blunder  out  my  re- 
quest in  a  high  state  of  stammer  and  blush.  Nothing  could 
have  been  more  courteous  than  this  dreaded  President,  but  it 
was  evident  that  I  had  made  as  absurd  a  demand  as  if  I  had 
asked  for  the  nose  off  his  respectable  face.  He  referred  mo 
to  the  Governor  at  the  State  House,  and  I  backed  out,  leaving 
him  no  doubt  to  regret  that  such  mild  maniacs  were  left  at 
large.  Here  was  a  Scylla  and  Charybdis  business  :  as  if  a 
President  wasn't  trying  enough,  without  the  Governor  of  Mas- 
sachusetts and  the  hub  of  the  hub  piled  on  top  of  that.  "  I 
never  can  do  it,"  thought  I.  "  Tom  will  hoot  at  you  if  you 
don't,"  whispered  the  inconvenient  little  voice  that  is  always 
goading  people  to  the  performance  of  disagreeable  duties,  and 
always  appeals  to  the  most  effective  agent  to  produce  the  prop- 
er result.  The  idea  of  allowing  any  boy  that  ever  wore  a 
felt  basin  and  a  shoddy  jacket  with  a  microscopic  tail,  to  crow 
over  me,  was  preposterous,  so  giving  myself  a  mental  slap  for 
such  faint-heartedness,  I  streamed  away  across  the  Common, 
wondering  if  I  ought  to  say  "  your  Honor,"  or  simply  "  Sir," 
and  decided  upon  the  latter,  fortifying  myself  with  recollec- 
tions of  an  evening  in  a  charming  green  library,  where  I  be- 
held the  Governor  placidly  consuming  oysters,  and  laughing 
as  if  Massachusetts  was  a  myth,  and  he  had  no  heavier  burden 
on  his  shoulders  than  his  host's  handsome  hands. 

Like  an  energetic  fly  in  a  very  large  cobweb,  I  struggled 
through  the  State  House,  getting  into  all  the  wrong  rooms  and 
none  of  the  right,  till  I  turned  desperate,  and  went  into  one, 
resolving  not  to  come  out  till  I'd  made  somebody  hear  and 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES  15 

answer  me.  I  suspect  that  of  all  the  wrong  places  I  had 
blundered  into,  this  was  the  most  so.  But  I  didn't  care  ;  and, 
though  the  apartment  was  full  of  soldiers,  surgeons,  starers, 
and  spittoons,  I  cornered  a  perfectly  incapable  person,  and 
proceeded  to  pump  for  information  with  the  following  re- 
sult : 

"  Was  the  Governor  anywhere  about?" 

No,  he  wasn't. 

"  Could  he  tell  me  where  to  look  ?" 

No,  he  couldn't. 

"  Did  he  know  anything  about  free  passes  ?" 

No,  he  didn't. 

"  Was  there  any  one  there  of  whom  I  could  inquire  ?" 

Not  a  person. 

"  Did  he  know  of  any  place  where  information  could  be 
obtained  ?" 

Not  a  place. 

"  Could  he  throw  the  smallest  gleam  of  light  upon  the  mat- 
ter, in  any  way?" 

Not  a  ray. 

I  am  naturally  irascible,  and  if  I  could  have  shaken  this 
negative  gentleman  vigorously,  the  relief  would  have  been 
immense.  The  prejudices  of  society  forbidding  this  mode  of 
redress,  I  merely  glowered  at  him  ;  and,  before  my  wrath 
found  vent  in  words,  my  General  appeared,  having  seen  me 
from  an  opposite  window,  and  come  to  know  what  I  was  about. 
At  her  command  the  languid  gentleman  woke  up,  and  troub- 
led himself  to  remember  that  Major  or  Sergeant  or  something 
Mc  K.  knew  all  about  the  tickets,  and  his  office  was  in  Milk 
Street.  I  perked  up  instanter,  and  then,  as  if  the  exertion 
was  too  much  for  him,  what  did  this  animated  wet  blanket  do 
but  add — 


16  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

"I  think  Mc  K.  may  have  left  Milk  Street,  now,  and  I 
don't  know  where  he  has  gone." 

"  Never  mind  ;  the  new  comers  will  know  where  he  has 
moved  to,  my  dear,  so  don't  be  discouraged ;  and  if  you  don't 
succeed,  come  to  me,  and  we  will  see  what  to  do  next,"  said 
my  General. 

I  blessed  her  in  a  fervent  manner  and  a  cool  hall,  fluttered 
round  the  corner,  and  bore  down  upon  Milk  street,  bent  on 
discovering  Mc  K.  if  such  a  being  was  to  be  found.  He 
wasn't,  and  the  ignorance  of  the  neighborhood  was  really  piti- 
able. Nobody  knew  anything,  and  after  tumbling  over  bun- 
dles of  leather,  bumping  against  big  boxts,  being  nearly  anni- 
hilated by  descending  bales,  and  sworn  at  by  aggravated 
truckmen,  I  finally  elicited  the  advice  to  look  for  Mc  K.  in 
Haymarket  Square.  Who  my  informant  was  I've  really  for- 
gotten ;  for,  having  hailed  several  busy  gentlemen,  some  one  of 
them  fabricated  this  delusive  quietus  for  the  perturbed  spirit, 
who  instantly  departed  to  the  sequestered  locality  he  named. 
If  I  had  been  in  search  of  the  Koh-i-noor  diamond  I  should 
have  been  as  likely  to  find  it  there  as  any  vestige  of  Mc  K. 
I  stared  at  signs,  inquired  in  shops,  invaded  an  eating  house, 
visited  the  recruiting  tent  in  the  middle  of  the  Square,  made 
myself  a  nuisance  generally,  and  accumulated  mud  enough  to 
retard  another  Nile.  All  in  vain  :  and  I  mournfully  turned 
my  face  toward  the  General's,  feeling  that  I  should  be 
forced  to  enrich  the  railroad  company  after  all ;  when,  suddenly, 
I  beheld  that  admirable  young  man,  brother-in-law  Darby 
Coobiddy,  Esq.  I  arrested  him  with  a  burst  of  news,  and 
wants,  and  woes,  which  caused  his  manly  countenance  to  lose 
its  usual  repose. 

"  Oh,  my  dear  boy,  I'm  going  to  Washington  at  five,  and 
I  can't  find  the  free  ticket  man,  and  there  won't  be  time  to  see 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  17 

Joan,  and  I'm  so  tired  and  cross  I  don't  know  what  to  do  ; 


and  will  you  help  me,  like  a  cherub  as  you  are  ?" 

"Oh,  yes,  of  course.  I  know  a  fellow  who  will  set  us 
right,"  responded  Darby,  mildly  excited,  and  darting  into 
some  kind  of  an  office,  held  counsel  with  an  invisible  angel, 
who  sent  him  out  radiant.  "  All  serene.  I've  got  him.  I'll 
see  you  through  the  business,  and  then  get  Joan  from  the 
Dove  Cote  in  time  to  see  you  off." 

I'm  a  woman's  rights  woman,  and  if  any  man  had  offered 
help  in  the  morning,  I  should  have  condescendingly  refused 
it,  sure  that  I  could  do  everything  as  well,  if  not  better,  my- 
self. My  strong-mindedness  had  rather  abated  since  then, 
and  I  was  now  quite  ready  to  be  a  "  timid  trembler,"  if  neces- 
sary. Dear  me  !  how  easily  Darby  did  it  all :  he  just  asked 
one  question,  received  an  answer,  tucked  me  under  his  arm, 
and  in  ten  minutes  I  stood  in  the  presence  of  Mc  K.,  the 
Desired. 

"  Now  my  troubles  are  over,"  thought  I,  and  as  usual  was 
dircfully  mistaken. 

"You  will  have  to  get^  pass  from  Dr.  H.,  in  Temple 
Place,  before  I  can  give  you  a  pass,  madam,"  answered  Mc 
K.,  as  blandly  as  if  he  wasn't  carrying  desolation  to  my  soul. 
Oh,  iudeed  !  why  didn't  he  send  me  to  Dorchester  Heights, 
India  Wharf,  or  Bunker  Hill  Monument,  and  done  with  it  ? 
Here  I  was,  after  a  morning's  tramp,  down  in  some  place  about 
Dock  Square,  and  was  told  to  step  to  Temple  Place.  Nor 
was  that  all ;  he  might  as  well  have  asked  me  to  catch  a  hum- 
ming-bird, toast  a  salamander,  or  call  on  the  man  in  the  moon, 
as  find  a  Doctor  at  home  at  the  busiest  hour  of  the  day.  It 
was  a  blow  ;  but  weariness  had  extinguished  enthusiasm,  and 
resignation  clothed  me  as  a  garment.  I  sent  Darby  for  Joan, 
and  doggedly  paddled  off,  feeling  that  mud  was  my  native  ele- 


18  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

merit,  and  quite  sure  that  the  evening  papers  would  announce 
the  appearance  of  the  Wandering  Jew,  in  feminine  habili- 
ments. 

"Is  Dr.  H.  in?" 

"  No,  mum,  he  aint." 

Of  course  he  wasn't ;  I  knew  that  before  I  asked:  and, 
considering  it  all  in  the  light  of  a  hollow  mockery,  added: 

"  When  will  he  probably  return  ?" 

If  the  damsel  had  said,  "  ten  to-night,"  I  should  have  felt  a 
grim  satisfaction,  in  the  fulfillment  of  my  own  dark  prophecy; 
but  she  said,  "  At  two,  mum  ;"  and  I  felt  it  a  personal  insult. 

"  I'll  call,  then.  Tell  him  my  business  is  important  :"  with 
which  mysteriously  delivered  message  I  departed,  hoping  that 
I  left  her  consumed  with  curiosity ;  for  mud  rendered  me  an 
object  of  interest. 

By  way  of  resting  myself,  I  crossed  the  Common,  for  the 
third  time,  bespoke  the  carriage,  got  some  lunch,  packed  my 
purchases,  smoothed  my  plumage,  and  was  back  again,  as  the 
clock  struck  two.  The  Doctor  hadn't  come  yet ;  and  I  was 
morally  certain  that  he  would  not,  till,  having  waited  till  the 
last  minute,  I  was  driven  to  buy  a  ticket,  and,  five  minutes 
after  the  irrevocable  deed  was  done,  he  would  be  at  my  serv- 
ice, -with  all  manner  of  helpful  documents  and  directions. 
Everything  goes  by  contraries  with  me ;  so,  having  made  up 
my  mind  to  be  disappointed,  of  course  I  wasn't ;  for,  present- 
ly, in  walked  Dr.  H. ,  and  no  sooner  had  he  heard  my  errand, 
and  glanced  at  my  credentials,  than  he  said,  with  the  rapst  en- 
gaging readiness : 

"I  will  give  you  the  order,  with  pleasure,  madam." 

Words  connot  express  how  soothing  and  delightful  it  was  to 
find,  at  last,  somebody  who  could  do  what  I  wanted,  without 
sending  me  from  Dan  to  Beershcba,  for  a  dozen  other  bodies 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  19 

to  do  something  else  first.  Peace  descended,  like  oil,  upon 
the  ruffled  waters  of  my  being,  as  I  sat  listening  to  the  busy 
scratch  of  his  pen  ;  and,  when  he  turned  about,  giving  me  not 
only  the  order,  but  a  paper  of  directions  wherewith  to  smooth 
away  all  difficulties  between  Boston  and  Washington,  I  felt  as 
did  poor  Christian  when  the  Evangelist  gave  him  the  scroll, 
on  the  safe  side  of  the  Slough  of  Despond.  I've  no  doubt 
many  dismal  nurses  have  inflicted  themselves  upon  the  worthy 
gentleman  since  then ;  but  I  am  sure  none  have  been  more 
kindly  helped,  or  are  more  grateful,  than  T.  P. ;  for  that  short 
interview  added  another  to  the  many  pleasant  associations  that 
already  surround  his  name. 

Peeling  myself  no  longer  a  "  Martha  Struggles,"  but  a 
comfortable  young  woman,  with  plain  sailing  before  her,  and 
the  worst  of  the  voyage  well  over,  I  once  more  presented  my- 
self to  the  valuable  Mc  K.  The  order  was  read,  and  certain 
printed  papers,  necessary  to  be  filled  out,  were  given  a  young 
gentleman — no,  I  prefer  to  say  Boy,  with  a  scornful  emphasis 
upon  the  word,  as  the  only  means  of  revenge  now  left  me. 
This  Boy,  instead  of  doing  his  duty  with  the  diligence  so 
charming  in  the  young,  loitered  and  lounged,  in  a  manner 
which  proved  his  education  to  have  been  sadly  neglected  in 
the— 

"  How  doth  the  little  busy  bee," 

direction.  He  stared  at  me,  gaped  out  of  the  window,  ate 
peanuts,  and  gossiped  with  his  neighbors — Boys,  like  himself, 
and  all  penned  in  a  row,  like  colts  at  a  Cattle  Show.  I  don't 
imagine  he  knew  the  anguish  he  was  inflicting ;  for  it  was 
nearly  three,  the  train  left  at  five,  and  I  had  my  ticket  to  get, 
my  dinner  to  eat,  my  blessed  sister  to  see,  and  the  depot  to 
reach,  if  I  didn't  die  of  apoplexy.  Meanwhile,  Patience 
certainly  had  her  perfect  work  that  day,  and  I  hope  she  en 


20  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

joyed  the  job  more  than  I  did.  Having  waited  some  twenty 
minutes,  it  pleased  this  reprehensible  Boy  to  make  various 
marks  and  blots  on  my  documents,  toss  them  to  a  venerable 
creature  of  sixteen,  who  delivered  them  to  me  with  such  pa- 
ternal directions,  that  it  only  needed  a  pat  on  the  head  and  an 
encouraging — "Nowran  home  to  your  Ma,  little  girl,  and 
mind  the  crossings,  my  dear,"  to  make  the  illusion  quite  per- 
fect. 

Why  I  was  sent  to  a  steamboat  office  for  car  tickets,  is  not 
for  me  to  say,  though  I  went  as  meekly  as  I  should  have  gone 
to  the  Probate  Court,  if  sent.  A  fat,  easy  gentleman  gave 
me  several  bits  of  paper,  with  coupons  attached,  with  a  warn- 
ing not  to  separate  them,  which  instantly  inspired  me  with  a 
yearning  to  pluck  them  apart,  and  see  what  came  of  it.  But, 
remembering  through  what  fear  and  tribulation  I  had  obtained 
tbem,  I  curbed  Satan's  promptings,  and,  clutching  my  prize,  as 
if  it  were  my  pass  to  the  Elysian  Fields,  I  hurried  home. 
Dinner  was  rapidly  consume'd ;  Joan  enlightened,  comforted, 
and  kissed  ;  the  dearest  of  apple-faced  cousins  hugged ;  the 
kindest  of  apple-faced  cousins'  fathers  subjected  to  the  same 
process ;  and  I  mounted  the  ambulance,  baggage-wagon,  or 
anything  you  please  but  hack,  and  drove  away,  too  tired  to 
feel  excited,  sorry,  or  glad. 


HOSPITAL   SKETCHES.  21 


CHAPTER  IT. 

A    FORWARD    MOVEMENT. 

As  travellers  like  to  give  their  own  impressions  of  a  journey, 
though  every  inch  of  the  way  may  have  been  described  a 
half  a  dozen  times  before,  I  add  some  of  the  notes  made  by 
the  way,  hoping  that  they  will  amuse  the  reader,  and  con- 
vince the  skeptical  that  such  a  being  as  Nurse  Perewinkle 
docs  exist,  that  she  really  did  go  to  Washington,  and  that 
these  Sketches  are  not  romance. 

New  York  Train — Seven  P.  M. — Spinning  along  to  take 
the  boat  at  New  London.  Very  comfortable  :  munch  o-increr- 
bread,  and  Mrs.  C.'s  fine  pear,  which  deserves  honorable  men- 
tion, because  my  first  loneliness  was  comforted  by  it,  and  pleas- 
ant recollections  of  both  kindly  sender  and  bearer.  Look 
much  at  Dr.  H.'s  paper  of  directions — put  my  tickets  in  ev- 
ery conceivable  place,  that  they  may  be  get-at-able,  and  finish 
by  losing  them  entirely.  Suffer  agonies  till  a  compassionate 
neighbor  pokes  them  out  of  a  crack  with  his  pen-knife.  Put 
them  in  the  inmost  corner  of  my  purse,  that  in  the  deepest 
recesses  of  my  pocket,  pile  a  collection  of  miscellaneous  arti- 


22  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

cles  atop,  and  pin  up  .the  whole.  Just  get  composed,  feeling 
that  I've  done  my  best  to  keep  them  safely,  when  the  Con. 
ductor  appears,  and  I'm  forced  to  rout  them  all  out  again,  ex- 
posing my  precautions,  and  getting  into  a  nutter  at  keeping 
the  man  waiting.  Finally,  fasten  them  on  the  seat  before  me, 
and  keep  one  eye  steadily  upon  the  yellow  torments,  till  I  for. 
get  all  about  them,  in  chat  with  the  gentleman  who  shares  my 
seat.  Having  heard  complaints  of  the  absurd  way  in  which 
American  women  become'images  of  petrified  propriety,  if  ad- 
dressed by  strangers,  when  traveling  alone,  the  inborn  per- 
versity of  my  nature  causes  me  to  assume  an  entirely  oppo" 
site  style  of  deportment  j  and,  finding  my  companion  hails 
from  Little  Athens,  is  acquainted  with  several  of  my  three 
hundred  and  sixty-five  cousins,  and  in  every  way  a  respecta- 
ble and  respectful  member  of  society,  I  put  my  bashfulness  in 
my  pocket,  and  plunge  into  a  long  conversation  on  the  war, 
the  weather,  music,  Carlyle,  skating,  genius,  hoops,  and  the 
immortality  of  the  soul. 

Ten,  P.  M. — Very  sleepy.  Nothing  to  be  seen  outside, 
but  darkness  made  visible  ;  nothing  inside  but  every  variety 
of  bunch  into  which  the  human  form  can  be  twisted,  rolled, 
or  "  massed,"  as  Miss  Prescott  says  of  her  jewels.  Every 
■man's  legs  sprawl  drowsily,  every  woman's  head  (but  mine,) 
nods,  till  it  finally  settles  on  somebody's  shoulder,  a  new  proof 
of  the  truth  of  the  everlasting  oak  and  vine  simile  ;  children 
fret ;  lovers  whisper;  old  folks  snore,  and  somebody  privately 
imbibes  brandy,  when  the  lamps  go  out.  The  penetrating 
perfume  rouses  the  multitude,  causing  some  to  start  up,  like 
•war  horses  at  the  smell  of  powder.  When  the  lamps  are  re- 
lighted, every  one  laughs,  sniffs,  and  looks  inquiringly  at  his 
neighbor— every  one  but  a  stout  gentleman,  who,  with  well- 
gloved  hands  folded  upon  his  broad-cloth  rotunuity,  sleeps  on 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  23 

impressively.  Had  he  been  innocent,  he  would  have  waked 
up  ;  for,  to  slumber  in  that  babe-like  manner,  with  a  car  full 
of  giggling,  staring,  sniffing  humanity,  was  simply  preposter- 
ous. Public  suspicion  was  down  upon  him  at  once.  I  doubt 
if  the  appearance  of  a  flat  black  bottle  with  a  label  would 
have  settled  the  matter  more  effectually  than  did  the  over  dig- 
nified and  profound  repose  of  this  short-sighted  being.  His 
moral  neck-cloth,  virtuous  boots,  and  pious  attitude  availed 
him  nothing,  and  it  was  well  he  kept  his  eyes  shut,  for 
■"  Humbug  !"  twinkled  at  him  from  every  window-pane,  brass 
nail  and  human  eye  around  him. 

Eleven,  P.  M. — In  the  boat  "City  of  Boston,"  escorted 
thither  by  my  car  acquaintance,  and  deposited  in  the  cabin. 
Trying  to  look  as  if  the  greater  portion  of  my  life  had  been 
passed  on  board  boats,  but  .painfully  conscious  that  I  don't 
know  the  first  thing  ;  so  sit  bolt  upright,  and  stare  about  me 
till  I  hear  one  lady  say  to  another — "We  must  secure  our 
berths  at  once  ;"  whereupon  I  dart  at  one,  and,  while  leisurely 
taking  off  my  cloak,  wait  to  discover  what  the  second  move 
may  be.  "Several  ladies  draw  the  curtains  that  hang  in  a 
semi-circle  before  each  nest — instantly  I  whisk  mine  smartly 
together,  and  then  peep  out  to  see  what  next.  Gradually,  on 
hooks  above  the  blue  and  yellow  drapery,  appear  the  coata 
and  bonnets  of  my  neighbors,  while  their  boots  and  shoes,  in 
every  imaginable  attitude,  assert  themselves  below,  as  if  their 
owners  had  committed  suicide  in  a  body.  A  violent  creak- 
ing, scrambling,  and  fussing,  causes  the  fact  that  people  are 
going  regularly  to  bed  to  dawn  upon  my  mind.  Of  course 
they  are !  and  so  am  I — but  pause  at  the  seventh  pin,  remem- 
bering that,  as  I  was  born  to  be  drowned,  an  eligible  opportu- 
nity now  presents  itself;  and,  having  twice  escaped  a  wateiy 
grave,  the  third  immersion  will  certainly  extinguish  my  vital 


24:  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

spark.  The  boat  is  new,  but  if  it  ever  intends  to  blow  up, 
spring  a  leak,  catch  afire,  or  be  run  into,  it  will  do  the  deed 
tonight,  because  I'm  here  to  fulfill  my  destiny.  With  tragic 
calmness  I  resign  myself,  replace  my  pins,  lash  my  purse  and 
papers  together,  with  my  handkerchief,  examine  the  saving 
circumference  of  my  hoop,  and  look  about  me  for  any  means 
of  deliverance  when  the  moist  moment  shall  arrive  ;  for  I've 
no  intention  of  .folding  my  hands  and  bubbling  to  death  with- 
out an  energetic  splashing  first.  Barrels,  hen-coops,  portable 
settees,  and  life-preservers  do  not  adorn  the  cabin,  as  they 
should  ;  and,  roving  wildly  to  and  fro,  my  eye  sees  no  ray  of 
hope  till  it  falls  upon  a  plump  old  lady,  devoutly  reading  in 
the  cabin  Bible,  and  a  voluminous  night-cap.  I  remember 
that,  at  the  swimming  school,  fat  girls  always  floated  best,  and 
in  an  .instant  my  plan  is  laid.  At  the  first  alarm  I  firmly 
attach  myself  to  the  plump  lady,  and  cling  to  her  through 
fire  and  water  ;  for  I  feel  that  my  old  enemy,  the  cramp,  will 
seize  me  by  the  foot,  if  I  attempt  to  swim  ;  and,  though  I  can 
hardly  expect  to  reach  Jersey  City  with  myself  and  my  bag- 
gage in  as  good  condition  as  I  hoped,  I  might  manage  to  get 
picked  up  by  holding  to  my  fat  friend ;  if  not  it  will  be  a 
comfort  to  feel  that  I've  made  an  effort  and  shall  die  in  good 
society.  Poor  dear  woman  !  how  little  she  dreamed,  as  she 
read  and  rocked,  with  her  cap  in  a  high  state  of  starch,  and  her 
feet  comfortably  cooking  at  the  register,  what  fell  designs 
were  hovering  about  her,  and  how  intently  a  small  but  de- 
termined eye  watched  her,  till  it  suddenly  closed. 

Sleep  got  the  better  of  fear  to  such  an  extent  that  my  boots 
appeared  to  gape,  and  my  bonnet  nodded  on  its  peg,  before  I 
gave  in.  Having  piled  my  cloak,  bag,  rubbers,  books  and 
umbrella  on  the  lower  shelf,  I  drowsily  swarmed  onto  the 
upper  one,  tumbling  down  a  few  times,   and  excoriating  the 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  25 

knobby  portions  of  my  frame  in  the  act.  A  very  brief  nap 
on  the  upper  roost  was  enough  to  set  me  gasping  as  if  a  dozen 
feather  beds  and  the  whole  boat  were  laid  over  me.  Out  I 
turned  ;  and,  after  a  series  of  convulsions,  which  caused  my 
neighbor  to  ask  if  I  wanted  the  stewardess.  I  managed  to  get 
my  luggage  up  and  myself  down.  But  even  in  the  lower 
berth,  my  rest  was  not  unbroken,  for  various  articles  kept 
dropping  off  the  little  shelf  at  the  bottom  of  the  bed,  and  every 
time  I  flew  up,  thinking  my  hour  had  come,  I  bumped 
my  head  severely  against  the  little  shelf  at  the  top,  evidently 
put  there  for  that  express  purpose.  At  last,  after  listening  to 
the  swash  of  the  waves  outside,  wondering  if  the  machinery 
usually  creaked  in  that  way,  and  watching  a  knot-hole  in  the 
bide  of  my  berth,  sure  that  death  would  creep  in  there  as 
soon  as  I  took  my  eye  from  it,  I  dropped  asleep,  and  dreamed 
of  muffins. 

Five,  A.  M. — On  deck,  trying  to  wake  up  and  enjoy  an 
east  wind  and  a  morning  fog,  and  a  twilight  sort  of  view  of 
something  on  the  shore.  Rapidly  achieve  my  purpose,  and 
do  enjoy  every  moment,  as  we  go  rushing  through  the  Sound, 
with  steamboats  passing  up  and  down,  lights  dancing  on  the 
shore,  mist  wreaths  slowly  furling  off,  and  a  pale  pink  sky 
above  us,  as  the  sun  comes  up. 

Seven,  A.  M. — In  the  cars,  at  Jersey  City.  Much  fuss 
with  tickets,  which  one  man  scribbles  over,  another  snips,  and 
a  third  "  makes  note  on."  Partake  of  refreshment,  in  the 
gloom  of  a  very  large  and  dirty  depot.  Think  that  my  sand- 
wiches would  be  more  relishing  without  so  strong  a  flavor  of 
napkin,  and  my  gingerbread  more  easy  of  consumption  if  it 
had  not  been  pulverized  by  being  sat  upon.  People  act  as  if 
early  travelling  didn't  agree  with  them.  Children  scream  and 
scamper ;  men  smoke  and  growl ;  women  shiver  and  fret ;  por- 

c 


26  HOSPITAL   SKETCHES. 

ters  swear ;  great  truck  horses  pace  up  and  down  with  loads  of 
baggage  ;  and  every  one  seems  to  get  into  the  wrong  car,  and 
come  tumbling  out  again.  One  man,  with  three  children,  a 
dog,  a  bird-cage,  and  several  bundles,  puts  himself  and  his 
possessions  into  every  possible  place  where  a  man,  three  chil- 
dren, dog,  bird-cage  and  bundles  could  be  got,  and  is  satisfied 
with  none  of  them.  I  follow  their  movements,  with  an  in- 
terest that  is  really  exhausting,  and,  as  they  vanish,  hope  for 
rest,  but  don't  get  it.  A  strong-minded  woman,  with  a  tum- 
bler in  her  band,  and  no  cloak  or  shawl  on,  comes  rushing 
through  the  car,  talking  loudly  to  a  small  porter,  who  lugs  a 
folding  bed  after  her,  and  looks  as  if  life  were  a  burden  to 
him. 

"  You  promised  to  have  it  ready.  It  is  not  ready.  It  must 
be  a  car  with  a  water  jar,  the  windows  must  be  shut,  the  fire 
must  be  kept  up,  the  blinds  must  be  down.  No,  this  won't 
do.  I  shall  go  through  the  whole  train,  and  suit  myself,  for 
you  promised  to  have  it  ready.  It  is  not  ready,"  &c.  all 
through  again,  like  a  hand-organ.  She  haunted  the  cars,  the 
depot,  the  office  and  baggage-room,  with  her  bed,  her  tumbler, 
and  her  tongue,  till  the  train  started  ;  and  a  sense  of  fervent 
gratitude  filled  my  soul,  when  I  found  that  she  and  her  un- 
known invalid  were  not  to  share  our  car. 

Philadelphia. — An  old  place,  full  of  Dutch  women,  in 
"  bellus  top  "  bonnets,  selling  vegetables,  in  long,  open  mar- 
kets. Every  one  seems  to  be  scrubbing  their  white  steps. 
All  the  houses  look  like  tidy  jails,  with  their  outside  shutters. 
Several  have  crape  on  the  door-handles,  and  many  have  flags 
flying  from  roof  or  balcony.  Few  men  appear,  and  the 
women  seem  to  do  the  business,  which,  perhaps,  account  for 
its  being  so  well  done.  Pass  fine  buildings,  but  don't  know 
what  they  are.     Would  like  to  stop  and  see  my  native      y  ; 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  27 

for,  having  left  it  at  the  tender  age  of  two,  my  recollections 
are  not  vivid. 

Baltimore. — A  big,  dirty,  shippy,  shiftless  place,  full  of 
goats,  geese,  colored  people,  and  coal,  at  least  the  part  of  it  I 
see.  Pass  near  the  spot  where  the  riot  took  place,  and  feel  as 
if  I  should  enjoy  throwing  a  stone  at  somebody,  hard.  Find 
a  guard  at  the  ferry,  the  depot,  and  here  and  there,  along  the 
road.  A  camp  whitens  one  hill-side,  and  a  cavalry  training 
school,  or  whatever  it  should  be  called,  is  a  very  interesting 
sight,  with  quantities  of  horses  and  riders  galloping,  march- 
ing, leaping,  and  skirmishing,  over  all  manner  of  break-neck 
places.  A  party  of  English  people  get  in — the  men,  with 
sandy  hair  and  red  whiskers,  all  trimmed  alike,  to  a  hair ; 
rough  grey  coats,  very  rosy,  clean  faces,  and  a  fine,  full  way 
of  speaking,  which  is  particularly  agreeable,  after  our  slip- 
shod American  gabble.  The  two  ladies  wear  funny  velvet 
fur-trimmed  hoods  ;  are  done  up,  like  compact  bundles,  in  tar 
tan  shawls ;  and  look  as  if  bent  on  seeing  everything  thorough- 
ly. The  devotion  of  one  elderly  John  Bull  to  his  red-nosed 
spouse  was  really  beautiful  to  behold.  She  was  plain  and 
cross,  and  fussy  and  stupid,  but  J.  B.,  Esq.,  read  no  papers 
when  she  was  awake,  turned  no  cold  shoulder  when  she  wished 
to  sleep,  and  cheerfully  said,  "  Yes,  me  dear,"  to  every  wish 
or  want  the  wife  of  his  bosom  expressed.  I  quite  warmed  to 
the  excellent  man,  and  asked  a  question  or  two,  as  the  only 
means  of  expressing  my  good  will.  He  answered  very  civ- 
illy, but  evidently  hadn't  been  used  to  being  addressed  by 
strange  women  in  public  conveyances ;  and  Mrs.  B.  fixed  her 
green  eyes  upon  me,  as  if  she  thought  me  a  forward  huzzy,  or 
whatever  is  good  English  for  a  presuming  young  woman.  The 
pair  left  their  friends  before  we  reached  Washington  ;  and  the 
last  I  saw  of  them  was  a  vision  of  a  large  plaid  lady,  stalking 


28  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.    - 

grimly  away,  on  the  arm  of  a  rosy,  stout  gentleman,  loaded 
with  rugs,  bags,  and  books,  but  still  devoted,  still  smiling,  and 
waving  a  hearty  "  Fare  ye  well  !  We'll  meet  ye  atWillard's 
on  Chusday." 

Soon  after  their  departure  we  had  an  accident ;  for  no  long 
journey  in  America  would  be  complete  without  one.  A  coup- 
ling iron  broke ;  and,  after  leaving  the  last  car  behind  us,  we 
waited  for  it  to  come  up,  which  it  did,  with  a  crash  that 
knocked  every  one  forward  on  their  faces,  and  caused  several 
old  ladies  to  screech  dismally.  Hats  flew  off,  bonnets  were 
flattened,  the  stove  skipped,  the  lamps  fell  down,  the  water 
jar  turned  a  somersault,  and  the  wheel  just  over  which  I  sat 
received  some  damage.  Of  course,  it  became  neccessary  for 
all  the  men  to  get  out,  and  stand  about  in  everybody's  way, 
while  repairs  were  made  ;  and  for  the  women  to  wrestle  their 
heads  out  of  the  windows,  asking  ninety-nine  foolish  questions 
to  one  sensible  one.  A  few  wise  females  seized  this  favorable 
moment  to  better  their  seats,  well  knowing  that  few  men  can 
face  the  wooden  stare  with  which  they  regard  the  former  pos- 
sessors of  the  places  they  have  invaded. 

The  country  through  which  we  passed  did  not  seem  so  very 
unlike  that  which  1  had  left,  except  that  it  was  more  level  and 
less  wintry.  In  summer  time  the  wide  fields  would  have 
shown  me  new  sights,  and  the  way-side  hedges  blossomed  with 
new  flowers ;  now,  everything  was  sere  and  sodden,  and  a  gen- 
eral air  of  shiftlessness  prevailed,  which  would  have  caused  a 
New  England  farmer  much  disgust,  and  a  strong  desire  to 
"  buckle  to,  "  and  "  right  up  "  things.  Dreary  little  houses, 
with  chimneys  built  outside,  with  clay  and  rough  sticks  piled 
crosswise,  as  we  used  to  build  cob  towers,  stood  in  barren 
looking  fields,  with  cow,  pig,  or  mule  lounging  about  the  door. 
We  often  passed  colored  people,  looking  as  if  they  had  come 


IIOSPITAL    SKETCITES.  29 

out  of  a  picture  book,  or  off  the  stage,  but  not  at  all  the  sort 
of  people  I'd  been  accustomed  to  see  at  the  North. 

Way-side  encampments  made  the  fields  and  lanes  gay  with 
blue  coats  and  the  glitter  of  buttons.  Military  washes  flapped 
and  fluttered  on  the  fences ;  pots  were  steaming  in  the  open 
air ;  all  sorts  of  tableaux  seen  through  the  openings  of  tents, 
and  everywhere  the  boys  threw  up  their  caps  and  cut  capers  as 
we  passed. 

Washington. — It  was  dark  when  we  arrived  ;  and.  but  for 
the  presence  of  another  friendly  gentleman,  I  should  have 
yielded  myself  a  helpless  prey  to  the  first  overpowering  hack- 
man,  who  insisted  that  I  wanted  to  go  just  where  I  didn't.  Put- 
ting me  into  the  conveyance  I  belonged  in,  my  escort  added 
to  the  obligation  by  pointing  out  the  objects  of  interest  which 
we  passed  in  our  long  drive.  Though  I'd  often  been  told  that 
Washington  was  a  spacious  place,  its  visible  magnitude  quite 
took  my  breath  away,  and  of  course  I  quoted  Randolph's 
expression,  "  a  city  of  mngnificent  distances,"  as  I  suppose 
every  one  docs  when  they  see  it.  The  Capitol  was  so  like  the 
pictures  that  hang  opposite  the  staring  Father  of  his  Country, 
in  boarding-houses  and  hotels,  that  it  did  not  impress  me, 
except  to  recall  the  time  when  I  was  sure  that  Cinderella  went 
to  housekeeping  in  just  such  a  place,  after  she  had  married  the 
inflammable  Prince ;  though,  even  at  that  early  period,  I  had 
my  doubts  as  to  the  wisdom  of  a  match  whose  foundation  was 
of  glass. 

The  White  House  was  lighted  up,  and  carriages  were  roll- 
ing in  and  out  of  the  great  gate.  I  stared  hard  at  the  famous 
East  Room,  and  would  have  liked  a  peep  through  the  crack  of 
the  door.  My  old  gentleman  was  indefatigable  in  his  atten- 
tions, and  I  said  "  Splendid  !"  to  everything  he  pointed  out, 
though    I  suspect  I   often    admired   the    wrong    place,  and 


30  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

missed  the  right.  Pennsylvania  Avenue,  with  its  bustle, 
lights,  music,  and  military,  made  me  feel  as  if  I'd  crossed  the 
water  and  landed  somewhere  in  Carnival  time.  Coming  to 
less  noticeable  parts  of  the  city,  my  companion  fell  silent,  and 
I  meditated  upon  the  perfection  which  Art  had  attained  in 
America — having  just  passed  a  bronze  statue  of  some  hero, 
who  looked  like  a  black  Methodist  minister,  in  a  cocked  hat, 
above  the  waist,  and  a  tipsy  squire  below ;  while  his  horse  stood 
like  an  opera  dancer,  on  one  leg,  in  a  high,  but  somewhat  re- 
markable wind,  which  blew  his  mane  one  way  and  his  massive 
tail  the  other. 

"  Hurly-burly  House,  ma'am  !"  called  a  voice,  startling  me 
from  my  reverie,  as  we  stopped  before  a  great  pile  of  build- 
ings, with  a  flag  flying  before  it,  sentinels  at  the  door,  and  a 
very  trying  quantity  of  men  lounging  about.  My  heart  beat 
rather  faster  than  usual,  and  it  suddenly  struck  me  that  I  was 
very  far  from  home ;  but  I  descended  with  dignity,  wondering 
whether  I  should  be  stopped  for  want  of  a  countersign,  and 
forced  to  pass  the  night  in  the  street.  Marching  boldly  up  the 
steps,  I  found  that  no  form  was  necessary,  for  the  men  fell 
back,  the  guard  touched  their  caps,  a  boy  opened  the  door, 
and,  as  it  closed  behind  me,  I  felt  that  I  was  fairly  started, 
and  Nurse  Periwinkle's  Mission  was  begun. 


HOSPITAL   SKETCHES.  31 


CHAPTER  HI. 

A   DAY. 

"They've  come  !  they've  come  !  hurry  up,  ladies — you're 
wanted." 

"  Who  have  come?  the  rebels?  " 

This  sudden  summons  in  the  gray  dawn  was  somewhat 
startling  to  a  three  days'  nurse  like  myself,  and,  as  the  thun- 
dering knock  came  at  our  door,  I  sprang  up  in  my  bed,  pre- 
pared 

"  To  gird  my  woman's  form, 
And  on  the  ramparts  die," 

if  necessary,  but  my  room-mate  took  it  more  coolly,  and,  as 

she  began  a  rapid  toilet,  answered  my  bewildered  question, — 

"  Bless  you,  no  child;  it's  the  wounded  from  Fredericks- 
burg ;  forty  ambulances  are  at  the  door,  and  we  shall  have 
our  hands  full  in  fifteen  minutes." 

"  What  shall  we  have  to  do  ?  " 

"  Wash,  dress,  feed,  warm  and  nurse  them  for  the  next 
three  months,  I  dare  say.  Eighty  beds  are  ready,  and  we 
were  getting  impatient  for  the  men  to  come.     Now  you  will 


32  HOSriTAL   SKETCHES. 

begin  to  see  hospital  life  in  earnest,  for  you  won't  probably 
find  time  to  sit  down  all  day,  and  may  think  yourself  fortunate 
if  you  get  to  bed  by  midnight.  Come  to  me  in  the  ball-room 
when  you  are  ready ;  the  worst  cases  are  always  carried  there, 
and  I  shall  need  your  help." 

So  saying,  the  energetic  little  woman  twirled  her  hair  into  a 
button  at  the  back  of  her  head,  in  a  "  cleared  for  action  "  sort 
of  style,  and  vanished,  wrestling  her  way  into  a  feminine  kind 
of  pea-jacket  as  she  went. 

I  am  free  to  confess  that  I  had  a  realizing  sense  of  the  fact 
that  my  hospital  bed  was  not  a  bed  of  roses  just  then,  or  the 
prospect  before  me  one  of  unmingled  rapture.  My  three 
days'  experiences  had  begun  with  a  death,  and,  owing  to  the 
defalcation  of  another  nurse,  a  somewhat  abrupt  plunge  into 
the  superintendence  of  a  ward  containing  forty  beds,  where  I 
spent  my  shining  hours  washing  faces,  serving  rations,  giving 
medicine,  and  sitting  in  a  very  hard  chair,  with  pneumonia  on 
one  side,  diptheria  on  the  other,  five  typhoids  on  the  opposite, 
and  a  dozen  dilapidated  patriots,  hopping,  lying,  and  lounging 
about,  all  staring  more  or  less  at  the  new  "  nuss,"  who  suffer- 
ed untold  agonies,  but  concealed  them  under  as  matronly  an 
aspect  as  a  spinster  could  assume,  and  blundered  through  her 
trying  labors  with  a  Spartan  firmness,  which  I  hope  they  ap- 
preciated, but  am  afraid  they  didn't.  Having  a  taste  for 
"  ghastliness,"  I  had  rather  longed  for  the  wounded  to  arrive, 
for  rheumatism  wasn't  heroic,  neither  was  liver  complaint,  or 
measles ;  even  fever  had  lost  its  charms  since  "  bathing  burn- 
ing brows  ;'  had  been  used  up  in  romances,  real  and  ideal ; 
but  when  I  peeped  into  the  dusky  street  lined  with  what  I  at 
first  had  innocently  called  market  carts,  now  unloading  their 
sad  freight  at  our  door,  I  recalled  sundry  reminiscences  I  had 
heard  from  nurses  of  longer  standing,  my  ardor  experienced  a 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  33 

sudden  chill,  and  I  indulged  in  a  most  unpatriotic  wish  that  I 
was  safe  at  home  again,  with  a  quiet  day  before  me,  and  no 
necessity  for  being  hustled  up,  as  if  I  were  a  hen  and  had 
only  to  hop  off  ray  roost,  give  my  plumage  a  peck,  and  be 
ready  for  action.  A  second  bang  at  the  door  sent  this  recreant 
desire  to  the  right  about,  as  a  little  woolly  head  popped  in, 
and  Joey,  (a  six  years'  old  contraband,)  announced — 

"  Miss  Blank  is  jes'  wild  fer  ye,  and  says  fly  round  right 
away.  They's  comin'  in,  I  tell  yer,  heaps  on  'era— one  was 
took  out  dead,  and  I  see  him, — ky!  warn't  he  a  goner  !  " 

With  which  cheerful  intelligence  the  imp  scuttled  away, 
singing  like  a  blackbird,  and  I  followed,  feeling  that  Richard 
was  not  himself  again,  and  wouldn't  be  for  a  long  time  to 
come. 

The  first  thing  I  met  was  a  regiment  of  the  vilest  odors 
that  ever  assaulted  the  human  nose,  and  took  it  by  storm. 
Cologne,  with  its  seven  and  seventy  evil  savors,  was  a  posy- 
bed  to  it  j  and  the  worst  of  this  affliction  was,  every  one  had 
assured  me  that  it  was  a  chronic  weakness  of  all  hospitals,  and 
I  must  bear  it.  I  did,  armed  with  lavender  water,  with  which 
I  so  besprinkled  myself  and  premises,  that,  like  my  friend, 
Sairy,  I  was  soon  known  among  my  patients  as  "  the  nurse 
with  the  bottle."  Having  been  run  over  by  three  excited 
surgeons,  bumped  against  by  migratory  coal-hods,  water-pails, 
and  small  boys ;  nearly  scalded  by  an  avalanche  of  newly- 
filled  tea-pots,  and  hopelessly  entangled  in  a  knot  of  colored 
sisters  coming  to  wash,  I  progressed  by  slow  stages  up  stairs 
and  down,  till  the  main  hall  was  reached,  and  I  paused  to 
take  breath  and  a  survey.  There  they  were!  "our  brave 
boys,"  as  the  papers  justly  call  them,  for  cowards  could  hard- 
ly have  been  so  riddled  with  shot  and  shell,  so  torn  and  shat- 
tered, nor  have  borne  suffering  for  which  we  have  no   name, 


34:  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

with  an  uncomplaining  fortitude,  which  made  one  glad  to 
cherish  each  as  a  brother.  In  they  came,  some  on  stretchers, 
some  in  men's  arms,  some  feebly  staggering  along  propped  on 
rude  crutches,  and  one  lay  stark  and  still  with  covered  face, 
as  a  comrade  gave  his  name  to  be  recorded  before  they  carried 
him  away  to  the  dead  house.  All  was  hurry  and  confusion ; 
the  hall  was  full  of  these  wrecks  of  humanity,  for  the  most 
exhausted  could  not  reach  a  bed  till  duly  ticketed  and  regis- 
tered ;  the  walls  were  lined  with  rows  of  such  as  could  sit, 
the  floor  covered  with  the  more  disabled,  the  steps  and  door- 
ways filled  with  helpers  and  lookers  on  ;  the  sound  of  many 
feet  and  voices  made  that  usually  quiet  hour  as  noisy  as  noon  ; 
and,  in  the  midst  of  it  all,  the  matron's  motherly  face  brought 
more  comfort  to  many  a  poor  soul,  than  the  cordial  draughts 
she  administered,  or  the  cheery  words  that  welcomed  all,  mak- 
ing of  the  hospital  a  home. 

The  sight  of  several  stretchers,  each  with  its  legless,  arm- 
less, or  desperately  wounded  occupant,  entering  my  ward, 
admonished  me  that  I  was  there  to  work,  not  to  wonder  or 
weep  ;  so  I  corked  up  my  feelings,  and  returned  to  the  path 
of  duty,  which  was  rather  "  a  hard  road  to  travel "  just  then. 
The  house  had  been  a  hotel  before  hospitals  were  needed,  and 
many  of  the  doors  still  bore  their  old  names ;  some  not  so 
inappropriate  as  might  be  imagined,  for  my  ward  was  in  truth 
a  ball-room,  if  gun-shot  wounds  could  christen  it.  Forty  beds 
were  prepared,  many  already  tenanted  by  tired  men  who  fell 
down  anywhere,  and  drowsed  till  the  smell  of  food  roused 
them.  Round  the  great  stove  was  gathered  the  dreariest 
group  I  ever  saw — ragged,  gaunt  and  pale,  mud  to  the  knees, 
with  bloody  bandages  untouched  since  put  on  days  before ; 
many  bundled  up  in  blankets,  coats  being  lost  or  useless  ;  and 
all  wearing  that  disheartened  look  which  proclaimed  defeat, 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  35 

more  plainly  than  any  telegram  of  the  Burnside  blunder.  I 
pitied  them  so  much,  I  dared  not  speak  to  them,  though,  re- 
membering all  they  had  been  through  since  the  .route  at  Fred, 
ericksburg,  I  yearned  to  serve  the  dreariest  of  them 
all.  Presently,  Miss  Blank  tore  me  from  my  refuge  behind 
piles  of  one-sleeved  shirtsr  odd  socks,  bandages  and  lint ;  put 
basin,  sponge,  towels,  and  a  block  of  brown  soap  into  my 
hands,  with  these  appalling  directions : 

"  Come,  my  dear,  begin  to  wash  as  fast  as  you  can.  Tell 
them  to  take  off  socks,  coats  and  shirts,  scrub  them  well,  put 
on  clean  shirts,  and  the  attendants  will  finish  them  off,  and 
lay  them  in  bed." 

If  she  had  requested  me  to  shave  them  all,  or  dance  a 
hornpipe  on  the  stove  funnel,  I  should  have  been  less  stag- 
gered ;  but  to  scrub  some  dozen  lords  of  creation  at  a  mo- 
ment's notice,  was  really — really .     However,  there  was 

no  time  for  nonsense,  and,  having  resolved  when  I  came  to  do 
everything  I  was  bid,  I  drowned  my  scruples  in  my  wash- 
bowl, clutched  my  soap  manfully,  and,  assuming  a  business- 
like air,  made  a  dab  at  the  first  dirty  specimen  I  saw,  bent  on 
performing  my  task  vi  et  vermis  if  necessary.  I  chanced  to 
light  on  a  withered  old  Irishman,  wounded  in  the  head,  which 
caused  that  portion  of  his  frame  to  be  tastefully  laid  out  like  a 
garden,  the  bandages  being  the  walks,  his  hair  the  shrubbery. 
He  was  so  overpowered  by  the  honor  of  having  a  lady  wash 
him,  as  he  expressed  it,  that  he  did  nothing  but  roll  up  his 
eyes,  and  bless  me,  in  an  irresistible  style  which  was  too  much 
for  my  sense  of  the  ludicrous  ;  so  we  laughed  together,  and 
when  I  knelt  down  to  take  off  his  shoes,  he  "  flopped"  also 
and  wouldn't  hear  of  my  touchiug  "  them  dirty  craters.  May 
your  bed  above  be  aisy  darlin',  for  the  d;iy's  work  ye  are  doon  ! 
— Whoosh  !   there  ye  are,  and  bedad,  it's  hard  tellin'  which  is 


36 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 


the  dirtiest,  the  fut  or  the  shoe."  It  was  ;  and  if  he  hadn't 
been  to  the  fore,  I  should  have  gone  on  polling,  under  the 
impression  that  the  "fut"  was  a  boot,  for  trousers,  socks, 
shoes  and  legs  were  a  mass  of  mud.  This  comical  tableau 
produced  a  general  grin,  at  which  propitious  beginning  I  took 
heart  and  scrubbed  away  like  any  tidy  parent  on  a  Saturday 
night.  Some  of  them  took  the  performance  like  sleepy  chil- 
dren, leaning  their  tired  heads  against  me  as  T  worked,  others 
looked  grimly  scandalized,  and  several  of  the  roughest  colored 
like  bashful  girls.  One  wore  a  soiled  little  bag  about  his 
neck,  and,  as  I  moved  it,  to  bathe  his  wounded  breast,  I  said, 

"  Your  talisman  didn't  save  you,  did  it?  " 

"  Well,  I  reckon  it  did,  marm,  for  that  shot  would  a  gone 
a  couple  a  inches  deeper  but  for  my  old  mammy's  camphor 
bag,"  answered  the  cheerful  philosopher. 

Another,  with  a  gun-shot  wound  through  the  cheek,  asked 
for  a  looking-glass,  and  when  I  brought  one,  regarded  his 
swollen  face  with  a  dolorous  expression,  as  he  muttered — 

"  I  vow  to  gosh,  that's,  too  bad  !  I  warn't  a  bad  looking 
chap  before,  and  now  I'm  done  for  ;  won't  there  be  a  thun 
derin'  scar?  and  what  on  earth  will  Josephine  Skinner  say  V 

He  looked  up  at  me  with  his  one  eye  so  appealingly,  that  1 
controlled  my  risibles,  and  assured  him  that  if  Josephine  was 
a  girl  of  sense,  she  would  admire  the  honorable  scar,  as  a 
lasting  proof  that  he  had  faced  the  enemy,  for  all  women 
thought  a  wound  the  best  decoration  a  brave  soldier  could 
wear.  I  hope  Miss  Skinner  verified  the  good  opinion  I  so 
rashly  expressed  of  her,  but  I  shall  never  know. 

The  next  scrubbee  was  a  nice  looking  lad,  with  a  curly 
brown  mane,  and  a  budding  trace  of  gingerbread  over  the  lip, 
which  he  called  his  beard,  and  defended  stoutly,  when  the 
barber  jocosely  suggested  its  immolation.     He  lay  on  abed, 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  37 

with  one  leg  gone,  and  the  right  arm  so  shattered  that  it  must 
evidently  follow ;  yet  the  little  Sergeant  was  as  merry  as  if  his 
afflictions  were  not  worth  lamenting  over,  and  when  a  drop  or 
two  of  salt  water  mingled  with  my  suds  at  the  sight  of  this 
strong  young  body,  so  marred  and  maimed,  the  boy  looked 
up,  with  a  brave  smile,  though  there  was  a  little  quiver  of  the 
lips,  as  he  said, 

"Now  don't  you  fret  yourself  about  me,  miss;  I'm  first 
rate  here,  for  it's  nuts  to  lie  still  on  this  bed,  after  knocking 
about  in  those  confounded  ambulances,  that  shake  what  there 
is  left  of  a  fellow  to  jelly.  I  never  was  in  one  of  these  places 
before,  and  think  this  cleaning  up  a  jolly  thing  for  us,  though 
I'm«afiaid  it  isn't  for  you  ladies." 

"  Is  this  your  first  battle,  Sergeant?" 

11  No,  miss ;  I've  been  in  six  scrimmages,  and  never  got  a 
scratch  till  this  last  one  ;  but  it's  done  the  business  pretty 
thoroughly  for  me,  I  should  say.  Lord  !  what  a  scramble 
there'll  be  for  arms  and  legs,  when  we  old  boys  come  out  of 
our  graves,  on  the  Judgment  Day  :  wonder  if  we  shall  get 
our  own  again  ?  If  we  do,  my  leg  will  have  to  tramp  from 
Fredericksburg,  my  arm  from  here,  I  suppose,  and  meet  my 
body,  wherever  it  may  be." 

The  fancy  seemed  to  tickle  him  mightily,  for  he  laughed 
blithely,  and  so  did  I ;  which,  no  doubt,  caused  the  new  nurse 
to  be  regarded  as  a  light-minded  sinner  by  the  Chaplain,  who 
roamed  vaguely  about,  informing  the  men  that  they  were  all 
worms,  corrupt  of  heart,  with  perishable  bodies,  and  souls  only 
to  be  saved  by  a  diligent  perusal  of  certain  tracts,  and  other 
equally  cheering  bits  of  spiritual  consolation,  when  spirituous 
ditto  would  have  been  preferred. 

"  I  say,  Mrs.  !"  called  a  voice  behind  me  ;  and,  turning,  I 
saw  a  rou2;h  Michis;ander,  with  an  arm  blown  off  at  the  shoul- 


38  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

der,  and  two  or  three  bullets  still  in  him — as  he  afterwards 
mentioned,  as  carelessly  as  if  gentlemen  were  in  the  habit  of 
carrying  such  trifles  about  with  them.  I  went  to  him,  and, 
while  administering  a  dose  of  soap  and  water,  he  whispered, 
irefully : 

"  That  red-headed  devil,  over  yonder,  is  a  reb,  damn  him  * 
You'll  agree  to  that,  I'll  bet?  He's  got  shet  of  a  foot,  or 
he'd  a  cut  like  the  rest  of  the  lot.  Don't  you  wash  him,  nor 
feed  him,  but  jest  let  him  holler  till  he's  tired.  It's  a  blasted 
shame  to  fetch  them  fellers  in  here,  along  side  of  us ;  and  so 
I'll  tell  the  chap  that  bosses  this  concern  ;  cuss  me  if  I  don't." 

I  regret  to  say  that  I  did  not  deliver  a  moral  sermon  upon 
the  duty  of  forgiving  our  enemies,  and  the  sin  of  profanity, 
then  and  there;  but,  being  a  red-hot  Abolitionist,  stared 
fixedly  at  the  tall  rebel,  who  was  a  copperhead,  in  every  sense 
of  the  word,  and  privately  resolved  to  put  soap  in  his  eyes, 
rub  his  nose  the  wrong  way,  and  excoriate  his  cuticle  gener- 
ally, if  I  had  the  washing  of  him. 

My  amiable  intentions,  however,  were  frustrated ;  for,  when 
I  approached,  with  as  Christian  an  expression  as  my  principles 
would  allow,  and  asked  the  question — "  Shall  I  try  to  make 
you  more  comfortable,  sir?"  all t[  got  for  my  pains  was  a 
gruff— 

"No;   I'll  do  it  myself." 

"  Here's  your  Southern  chivalry,  with  a  witness,"  thought 
I,  dumping  the  basin  down  before  him,  thereby  quenching  a 
strong  desire  to  give  him  a  summary  baptism,  in  return  for  his 
ungraciousness ;  for  my  angry  passions  rose,  at  this  rebuff,  in 
a  way  that  would  have  scandalized  good  Dr.  Watts.  He  was 
a  disappointment  in  all  respects,  (the  rebel,  not  the  blessed 
Doctor,)  for  he  was  neither  fiendish,  romantic,  pathetic,  or 
anything  interesting;   but  a  long,  fat  man,  with  a  head  like  a 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  39 

burning  'bush,  and  a  perfectly  expressionless  face  :  so  I  could 
hate  him  without  the  slightest  drawback,  and  ignored  his  exist- 
ence from  that  day  forth.  One  redeeming  trait  he  certainly 
did  possess,  as  the  floor  speedily  testified ;  for  his  ablutions 
were  so  vigorously  performed,  that  his  bed  soon  stood  like  an 
isolated  island,  in  a  sea  of  soap-suds,  and  he  resembled  a 
dripping  merman,  suffering  from  the  loss  of  a  fin.  If  clean- 
liness is  a  near  neighbor  to  godliness,  then  was  the  big  rebel 
the  godliest  man  in  my  ward  that  day. 

Having  done  up  our  human  wash,  and  laid  it  out  to  dry,  the 
second  syllable  of  our  version  of  the  word  war-fare  was  enacted 
with  much  -success.  Great  trays  of  bread,  meat,  soup  and 
coffee  appeared ;  and  both  nurses  and  attendants  turned 
waiters,  serving  bountiful  rations  to  all  who  could  eat.  I  can 
call  my  pinafore  to  testify  to  my  good  will  in  the  work,  for  in 
ten  minutes  it  was  reduced  to  a  perambulating  bill  of  fare,  pre- 
senting samples  of  all  the  refreshments  going  or  gone.  It  was 
a  lively  scene ;  the  long  room  lined  with  rows  of  beds,  each 
filled  by  an  occupant,  whom  water,  shears,  and  clean  raimcnt} 
had  transformed  from  a  dismal  ragamuffin  into  a  recumbent 
hero,  with  a  cropped  head.  To  and  fro  rushed  matrons,  maids, 
and  convalescent  "  boys,"  skirmishing  with  knives  and  forks ; 
retreating  with  empty  plates;  marching  and  counter-marching, 
with  unvaried  success,  while  the  clash  of  busy  spoons  made 
most  inspiring  music  for  the  charge  of  our  Light  Brigade : 
"  Beds  to  the  front  of  them, 

Beds  to  the  right  of  them, 

Beds  ;o  the  left  of  them, 
Nobody  blundered. 

Beamed  at  by  hungry  souls, 

Screamed  at  with  brimming  bowls, 

Steamed  at  by  army  rolls, 
Battered  and  sundered. 

With  coffee  not  cannon  plied, 

Each  must  be  satisfied, 

Whether  they  lived  or  died; 
All  the  men  wondered." 


40  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

Very  welcome  seemed  the  generous  meal,  after  a  week  of 
suffering,  exposure,  and  short  commons;  soon  the  brown  faces 
began  to  smile,  as  food,  warmth,  and  rest,  did  their  pleasant 
work  ;  and  the  grateful  "  Thankee's  "  were  followed  by  more 
graphic  accounts  of  the  battle  and  retreat,  than  any  paid 
reporter  could  have  given  us.  Curious  contrasts  of  the  tragic 
and  comic  met  one  everywhere  ;  and  some  touching  as  well  as 
ludicrous  episodes,  might  have  been  recorded  that  day.  A 
six  foot  New  Hampshire  man,  with  a  leg  broken  and  perforated 
by  a  piece  of  shell,  so  large  that,  had  I  not  seen  the  wound,  I 
should  have  regarded  the  story  as  a  Munchausenism,  beckoned 
me  to  come  and  help  him,  as  he  could  not  sit  up,  and  both  his 
bed  and  beard  were  getting  plentifully  anointed  with  soup. 
As  I  fed  my  big  nestling  with  corresponding  mouthfuls,  I 
asked  him  how  he  felt  during  the  battle. 

"  Well,  'twas  my  fust,  you  see,  so  I  aint  ashamed  to  say  I 
was  a  trifle  flustered  in  the  beginnin',  there  was  such  an  allfired 
racket;  for  ef  there's  anything  I  do  spleen  agin,  it's  noise. 
But  when  my  mate,  Eph  Sylvester,  caved,  with  a  bullet  through 
his  head,  I  got  mad,  and  pitched  in,  licketty  cut.  Our  part 
of  the  fight  didn't  last  long;  so  a  lot  of  us  larked  round 
Fredericksburg,  and  give  some  of  them  hou«es  a  pretty  con- 
sid'able  of  a  rummage,  till  we  was  ordered  out  of  the  mess. 
Some  of  our  fellows  cut  like  time  ;  but  I  warn't  a-goin  to  run 
for  nobody  ;  and,  fust  thing  I  knew,  a  shell  bust,  right  in 
front  of  us,  and  I  keeled  over,  feelin'  as  if  I  was  biowed 
higher'n  a  kite.  I  sung  out,  and  the  boys  come  back  for  me, 
double  quick ;  but  the  way  they  chucked  mo  over  them  fences 
was  a  caution,  I  tell  you.  Next  day  I  was  most  as  black  as 
that  darkey  yonder,  lickin'  plates  on  the  sly.  This  is  bully 
coffee,  ain't  it  ?  Give  us  another  pull  at  it,  and  I'll  be  obleeged 
to  you.?' 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  41 

I  did  ;  and,  as  the  last  gulp  subsided,  he  said,  with  a  rub 
of  his  old  handkerchief  over  eyes  as  well  as  mouth  : 

"  Look  a  here ;  I've  got  a  pair  a  earbobs  and  a  handkercher 
pin  I'm  a  goiri'  to  give  you,  if  you'll  have  them  ;  for  you're 
the  very  moral  o'  Lizy  Sylvester,  poor  Eph's  wife  :  that's  why 
I  signalled  you  to  come  over  here.  They  aint  much,  I  guess, 
but  they'll  do  to  memorize  the  rebs  by." 

Burrowing  under  his  pillow,  he  produced  a  little  bundle  of 
what  he  called  "  truck,"  and  gallantly  presented  me  with  a 
pair  of  earrings,  each  representing  a  cluster  of  corpulent 
grapes,  and  the  pin  a  basket  of  astonishing  fruit,  the  whole 
large  and  coppery  enough  for  a  small  warming-pan.  Feeling 
delicate  about  depriving  him  of  such  valuable  relics,  I  accepted 
the  earrings  alone,  and  was  obliged  to  depart,  somewhat 
abruptly,  when  my  friend  stuck  the  warming-pan  in  the  bosom 
of  his  night-gown,  viewing  it  with  much  complacency,  and, 
perhaps,  some  tender  memory,  in  that  rough  heart  of  his,  for 
the  comrade  he  had  lost. 

Observing  that  the  man  next  him  had  left  his  meal  untouched, 
I  offered  the  same  service  I  had  performed  for  his  neighbor, 
but  he  shook  his  head. 

"  Thank  you,  ma'am  ;  I  don't  think  I'll  ever  eat  again,  for 
I'm  shot  in  the  stomach.  But  I'd  like  a  drink  of  water,  if 
you  aint  too  busy." 

I  rushed  away,  but  the  water-pails  were  gone  to  be  refilled, 
and  it  was  some  time  before  they  reappeared.  I  did  not  for- 
get my  patient  patient,  meanwhile,  and,  with  the  first  mugful, 
hurried  back  to  him.  He  seemed  asleep;  but  something  in 
the  tired  white  face  caused  me  to  listen  at  his  lips  for  a  breath. 
None  came.  I  touched  his  forehead  ;  it  was  cold  :  and  then  I 
knew  that,  while  he  waited,  a  better  nurse  than  I  had  given 
him  a  cooler  draught,  and  healed  him  with  a  touch.     I  laid 


42  HOSPITAL   SKETCHES. 

the  sheet  over  the  quiet  sleeper,  whom  no  noise  could  now 
disturb ;  and,  half  an  hour  later,  the  bed  was  empty.  It 
seemed  a  poor  requital  for  all  he  had  sacrificed  and  suffered, 
— that  hospital  bed,  lonely  even  in  a  crowd  ;  for  there  was  no 
familiar  face  for  him  to  look  his  last  upon ;  no  friendly  voice 
to  say,  Good  bye  ;  no  hand  to  lead  him  gently  down  into  the 
Valley  of  the  Shadow  ;  and  he  vanished,  like  a  drop  in  that 
red  sea  upon  whose  shores  so  many  women  stand  lamenting. 
For  a  moment  I  felt  bitterly  indignant  at  this  seeming  care 
lessness  of  the  value  of  life,  the  sanctity  of  death  ;  then  con- 
soled myself  with  the  thought  that,  when  the  great  muster 
roll  was  called,  these  nameless  men  might  be  promoted  above 
many  whose  tall  monuments  record  the  barren  honors  they 
have  won. 

All  having  eaten,  drank,  and  rested,  the  surgeons  began 
their  rounds ;  and  I  took  my  first  lesson  in  the  art  of  dressing 
wounds.  It  wasn't  a  festive  scene,  by  any  means  ;  for  Dr. 
P..  whose  Aid  I  constituted  myself,  fell  to  work  with  a  vigor 
which  soon  convinced  me  that  I  was  a  weaker  vessel,  though 
nothing  would  have  induced  me  k)  confess  it  then.  He  had 
served  in  the  Crimea,  and  seemed  to  regard  a  dilapidated  body 
very  much  as  I  should,  have  regarded  a  damaged  garment  ; 
and,  turning  up  his  cuffs,  whipped  out  a  very  unpleasant  look- 
ing housewife,  cutting,  sawing,  patching  and  piecing,  with  the 
enthusiasm  of  an  accomplished  surgical  seamstress ;  explaining 
the  process,  in  scientific  terms,  to  the  patient,  meantime ; 
which,  of  course,  was  immensely  cheering  and  comfortable 
There  was  an  uncanny  sort  of  fascination  in  watching  him,  as 
he  peered  and  probed  into  the  mechanism  of  those  wonderfnl 
bodies,  whose  mysteries  he  understood  so  well.  The  more 
intricate  the  wound,  the  better  he  liked  it.  A  poor  private, 
with  both  legs  off,  and  shot  through  the  lungs,  possessed  more 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  43 

attractions  for  him  than  a  dozen  generals,  slightly  scratched  in 
some  "  masterly  retreat ;"  and  had  any  one  appeared  in  small 
pieces,  requesting  to  be  put  together  again,  he  would  have 
considered  it  a  special  dispensation. 

The  amputations  were  reserved  till  the  morrow,  and  the 
merciful  magic  of  ether  was  not  thought  necessary  that  day,  so 
the  poor  souls  had  to  bear  their  pains  as  best  they  might.  It 
is  all  very  well  to  talk  of  the  patience  of  woman ;  and  far  be 
it  from  me  to  pluck  that  feather  from  her  cap,  for,  heaven 
knows,  she  isn't  allowed  to  wear  many ;  but  the  patient 
endurance  of  these  men,  under  trials  of  the  flesh,  was  truly 
wonderful ;  their  fortitude  seemed  contagious,  and  scarcely  a 
cry  escaped  them,  though  I  often  longed  to  groan  for  them, 
when  pride  kept  their  white  lips  shut,  while  great  drops  stood 
upon  their  foreheads,  and  the  bed  shook  with  the  irrepressible 
tremor  of  their  tortured  bodies.  One  or  two  Irishmen  anath- 
ematized the  doctors  with  the  frankness  of  their  nation,  and 
ordered  the  Virgin  to  stand  by  them,  as  if  she  had  been  the 
wedded  Biddy  to  whom  they  could  administer  the  poker,  if 
she  didn't;  but,  as  a  general  thing,  the  work  went  on  in 
silence,  broken  only  by  some  quiet  request  for  roller,  instru- 
ments, or  plaster,  a  sigh  from  the  patient,  or  a  sympathizing 
murmur  from  the  nurse. 

It  was  long  past  noon  before  these  repairs  were  even  par- 
tially made  ;  and,  having  got  the  bodiesof  my  boys  into  some- 
thing like  order,  the  next  task  was  to  minister  to  their  minds, 
by  writing  letters  to  the  anxious  souls  at  home ;  answering 
questions,  reading  papers,  taking  possession  of  money  and 
valuables  ;  for  the  eighth  commandmnnt  was  reduced  to  a 
very  fragmentary  condition,  both  by  the  blacks  and  whites, 
who  ornamented  our  hospital  with  their  presence.  Pocket 
books,   purses,    miniatures,    and   watches,    were   sealed   up, 


44  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

labelled,  and  banded  over  to  tbe  matron,  till  sucb  times  as  tbe 
owners  tbeveof  were  ready  to  depart  bomeward  or  campward 
again.  Tbe  letters  dictated  to  me,  and  revised  by  me,  tbat 
afternoon,  would  bave  made  an  excellent  cbapter  for  some 
future  bistory  of  tbe  war  •  for,  like  tbat  wbicb  Tbackeray's 
"  Ensign  Spooney  "  wrote  bis  motber  just  before  Waterloo, 
tbey  were  "  full  of  affection,  pluck,  and  bad  spelling  ;"  nearly 
all  giving  lively  accounts  of  tbe  battle,  and  ending  witb  a 
somewbat  sudden  plunge  from  patriotism  to  provender ,  desir- 
ing "  Marm,"  "  Mary  Ann,"  or  "  Aunt  Peters,"  to  send 
along  some  pies,  pickles,  sweet  stuff,  and  apples,  "  to  yourn  in 
baste,"  Joe,  Sam,  or  Ned,  as  tbe  case  migbt  be. 

My  little  Sergeant  insisted  on  trying  to  scribble  sometbing 
witb  bis  left  band,  and  patiently  accomplisbed  some  half  dozen 
lines  of  hieroglyphics,  wbicb  be  gave  me  to  fold  and  direct, 
witb  a  boyish  blush,  that  rendered  a  glimpse  of  "  My  Dearest 
Jane,"  unnecessary,  to  assure  me  that  the  heroic  lad  had  been 
more  successful  in  tbe  service  of  Commander-in-Chief  Cupid 
than  that  of  Gen.  Mars  ;  and  a  charming  little  romance  blos- 
somed instanter  in  Nurse  Periwinkle's  romantic  fancy,  though 
no  further  confidences  were  made  that  day,  for  Sergeant  fell 
asleep,  and,  judging  from  his  tranquil  face,  visited  his  absent 
sweetheart  in  the  pleasant  land  of  dreams. 

At  five  o'clock  a  great  bell  rang,  and  the  attendants  flew, 
not  to  arms,  but  to  their  trays,  to  bring  up  supper,  when  a 
second  uproar  announced  that  it  was  ready.  Tbe  new  comers 
woke  at  the  sound ;  and  I  presently  discovered  that  it  took  a 
very  bad  wound  to  incapacitate  the  defenders  of  the  faith  for 
the  consumption  of  their  rations ;  the  amount  that  some  of 
them  sequestered  was  amazing  ;  but  when  I  suggested  tbe 
probability  of  a  famine  hereafter,  to  the  matron,  that  motherly 
lady  cried  out :  "  Bless  their  hearts,  why  shouldn't  tbey  eat  ? 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  45 

It's  their  only  amusement ;  so  fill  every  one,  and,  if  there's 
not  enough  ready  to-night,  I'll  lend  my  share  to  the  Lord  by 
giving  it  to  the  boys."  And,  whipping  up  her  coffee-pot  and 
plate  of  toast,  she  gladdened  the  eyes  and  stomachs  of  two  or 
three  dissatisfied  heroes,  by  serving  them  with  a  liberal  hand  ; 
and  I  haven't  the  slightest  doubt  that,  having  cast  her  bread 
upon  the  waters,  it  came  back  buttered,  as  another  large- 
hearted  old  lady  was  wont  to  say. 

Then  came  the  doctor's  evening  visit ;  the  administration  of 
medicines  ;  washing  feverish  faces ;  smoothing  tumbled  beds  ; 
wetting  wounds ;  singing  lullabies  ;  and  preparations  for  the 
night.  By  eleven,  the  last  labor  of  love  was  done  ;  the  last 
"  good  night  "  spoken  ;  and,  if  any  needed  a  reward  for  that 
day's  work,  they  surely  received  it,  in  the  silent  eloquence  of 
those  long  lines  of  faces,  showing  pale  and  peaceful  in  the 
shaded  rooms,  as  we  quitted  them,  followed  by  grateful  glances 
that  lighted  us  to  bed,  where  rest,  the  sweetest,  made  our  pil- 
lows soft,  while  Night  and  Nature  took  our  places,  filling  that 
great  house  of  pain  with  the  healing  miracles  of  Sleep,  and 
his  diviner  brother,  Death. 


46  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

A    NIGHT. 

Being  fond  of  the  night  side  of  nature,  I  was  soon  promoted 
to  the  post  of  night  nurse,  with  every  facility  for  indulging  in 
my  favorite  pastime  of  "  owling."  My  colleague,  a  black- 
eyed  widow,  relieved  me  at  dawn,  we  two  taking  care  of  the 
ward,  between  us,  like  the  immortal  Sairy  and  Betsey,  "turn 
and  turn  about."  I  usually  found  my  boys  in  the  jolliest 
state  of  mind  their  condition  allowed  ;  for  it  was  a  known  fact 
that  Nurse  Periwinkle  objected  to  blue  devils,  and  entertained 
a  belief  that  he  who  laughed  most  was  surest  of  recovery.  At 
the  beginning  of  my  reign,  dumps  and  dismals  prevailed  ;  the 
nurses  looked  anxious  and  tired,  the  men  gloomy  or  sad ;  and  a 
general  ' '  Hark  !-from-the-tombs-a-doleful-sound  "  style  of  con- 
versation seemed  to  be  the  fashion  :  a  state  of  things  which 
caused  one  coming  from  a  merry,  social  New  England  town,  to 
feel  as  if  she  had  got  into  an  exhausted  receiver ;  and  the 
instinct  of  self-preservation,  to  say  nothing  of  a  philanthropic 
desire  to  serve  the  race,  caused  a  speedy  change  in  Ward 
No.  1. 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  47 

More  flattering  than  the  most  gracefully  turned  compliment, 
more  grateful  than  the  most  admiring  glance,  was  the  sight  of 
those  rows  of  faces,  all  strange  to  me  a  little  while  ago,  now 
lighting  up,  with  smiles  of  welcome,  as  I  came  among  them, 
enjoying  that  moment  heartily,  with  a  womanly  pride  in  their 
regard,  a  motherly  affection  for  them  all.  The  evenings  were 
spent  in  reading  aloud,  writing  letters,  waiting  on  and  amusing 
the  men,  going  the  rounds  with  Dr.  P.,  as  he  made  his  second 
daily  survey,  dressing  my  dozen  wounds  afresh,  giving  last 
doses,  and  making  them  cozy  for  the  long  hours  to  come,  till 
the  nine  o'clock  bell  rang,  the  gas  was  turned  down,  the  day 
nurses  went  off  duty,  the  night  watch  came  on,  and  my  noc- 
turnal adventure  began. 

My  ward  was  now  divided  into  three  rooms;  and,  under 
favor  of  the  matron,  I  had  managed  to  sort  out  the  patients  in 
such  a  way  that  I  had  what  I  called,  "  my  duty  room,"  my 
"  pleasure  room,"  and  my  "  pathetic  room,"  and  worked  for 
each  in  a  different  way.  One,  I  visited,  armed  with  a  dressing 
tray,  full  of  rollers,  plasters,  and  pins ;  another,  with  books^ 
flowers,  games,  and  gossip;  a  third,  with  teapots,  lullabies, 
consolation,  and,  sometimes,  a  shroud. 

Wherever  the  sickest  or  most  helpless  man  chanced  to  be, 
there  I  held  my  watch,  often  visiting  the  other  rooms,  to  see 
that  the  general  watchman  of  the  ward  did  his  duty  by  the 
fires  and  the  wounds,  the  latter  needing  constant  wetting. 
•  Not  only  on  this  account  did  I  meander,  but  also  to  get  fresh- 
er air  than  the  close  rooms  afforded ;  for,  owing  to  the  stupid- 
ity of  that  mysterious  "  somebody  "  who  does  all  the  damage 
in  the  world,  the  windows  had  been  carefully  nailed  down  « 
above,  and  the  lower  sashes  could  only  be  raised  in  the  mildest 
weather,  for  the  men  lay  just  below.  I  had  suggested  a  sum- 
mary smashing  of  a  few  panes  here  and  there,  when  frequent 


48  HOSPITAL   SKETCHES. 

appeals  to  headquarters  had  proved  unavailing,  and  daily 
orders  to  lazy  attendants  had  come  to  nothing.  No  one  sec- 
onded the  motion,  however,  and  the  nails  were  far  beyond  my 
reach  ;  for,  though  belonging  to  the  sisterhood  of  "  ministering 
angels,"  I  had  no  wings,  and  might  as  well  have  asked  for 
Jacob's  ladder,  as  a  pair  of  steps,  in  that  charitable  chaos. 

One  of  the  harmless  ghosts  who  bore  me  company  during 
the  haunted  hours,  was  Dan,  the  watchman,  whom  I  regarded 
with  a  certain  awe  ;  for,  though  so  much  together,  I  never 
fairly  saw  his  face,  and,  but  for  his  legs,  should  never  have 
recognized  him,  as  we  seldom  met  by  day.  These  legs  were 
remarkable,  as  was  his  whole  figure,  for  his  body  was  short, 
rotund,  and  done  up  in  a  big  jacket,  and  muffler ;  his  beard 
hid  the  lower  part  of  his  face,  his  hat-brim  the  upper ;  and  all 
I  ever  discovered  was  a  pair  of  sleepy  eyes,  and  a  very  mild 
voice.  But  the  legs! — very  long,  very  thin,  very  crooked 
and  feeble,  looking  like  grey  sausages  in  their  tight  coverings, 
without  a  ray  of  pegtopishness  about  them,  and  finished  off 
with  a  pair  of  expansive,  green  cloth  shoes,  veiy  like  Chinese 
junks,  with  the  sails  down.  This  figure,  gliding  noiselessly 
about  the  dimly  lighted  rooms,  was  strongly  suggestive  of  the 
spirit  of  a  beer  barrel  mounted  on  cork-screws,  haunting  the 
old  hotel  in  search  of  its  lost  mates,  emptied  and  staved  in 
long  ago. 

Another  goblin  who  frequently  appeared  to  me,  was  the 
attendant  of  the  pathetic  room,  who,  being  a  faithful  soul,  was 
often  up  to  tend  two  or  three  men,  weak  and  wandering  as 
babies,  after  the  fever  had  gone.  The  amiable  creature  beguiled 
the  watches  of  the  night  by  brewing  jorums  of  a  fearful  bev- 
erage, which  he  called  coffee,  and  insisted  on  sharing  with 
me  ;  coming  in  with  a  great  bowl  of  something  like  mud 
soup,  scalding  hot,  guiltless  of  cream,  rich  in  an  all-pervading 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  49 

flavor  of  molasses,  scorch  and  tin  pot.  Such  an  amount  of 
good  will  and  neighborly  kindness  also  went  into  the  mess, 
that  I  never  could  find  the  heart  to  refuse,  but  always  received 
it  with  thanks,  sipped  it  with  hypocritical  relish  while  he 
remained,  and  whipped  it  into  the  slop-jar  the  instant  he 
departed,  thereby  gratifying  him,  securing  one  rousing  laugh 
in  the  doziest  hour  of  the  night,  and  no  one  was  the  worse  for 
the  transaction  but  the  pigs.  Whether  they  were  "  cut  off 
untimely  in  their  sins,"  or  not,  I  carefully  abstained  from 
inquiring. 

It  was  a  strange  life  —  asleep  half  the  day,  exploring 
Washington  the  other  half,  and  all  night  hovering,  like  a 
massive  cherubim,  in  a  red  rigolette,  over  the  slumbering  sons 
\  f  man.  I  liked  it,  and  found  many  things  to  amuse,  instruct, 
and  interest  me.  The  snores  alone  were  quite  a  study,  varying 
from  the  mild  sniff  to  the  stentorian  snort,  which  startled  the 
echoes  and  hoisted  the  performer  erect  to  accuse  his  neighbor 
of  the  deed,  magnanimously  forgive  him,  and,  wrapping  the 
drapery  of  his  couch  about  him,  lie  down  to  vocal  slumber. 
After  listening  for  a  week  to  this  band  of  wind  instruments,  I 
indulged  in  the  belief  that  I  could  recognize  each  by  the  snore 
alone,  and  was  tempted  to  join  the  chorus  by  breaking  out 
with  John  Brown's  favorite  hymn  : 

"  Clow  ye  the  trumpet,  blow!" 

I  would  have  given  much  to  have  possessed  the  art  of 
sketching,  for  many  of  the  faces  became  wonderfully  interest- 
ing when  unconscious.  Some  grew  stern  and  grim,  the  men 
evidently  dreaming  of  war,  as  they  gave  orders,  groaned  over 
their  wounds,  or  damned  the  rebels  vigorously  ;  some  grew  sad 
and  infinitely  pathetic,  as  if  the  pain  borne  silently  all  day,  re- 
venged itself  by  now  betraying  what  the  man's  pride  had  con- 
cealed so  well.     Often  the  roughest  grew  young  and  pleasant 


50  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

when  sleep  smoothed  the  hard  lines  away,  letting  the  real  nature 
assert  itself;  many  almost  seemed  to  speak,  and  I  learned  to 
know  these  men  better  by  night  than  through  any  intercourse 
by  day.  Sometimes  they  disappointed  me,  for  faces  that  looked 
meny  and  good  in  the  light,  grew  bad  and  sly  when  the  shad- 
ows came ;  and  though  they  made  no  confidences  in  words,  I 
read  their  lives,  leaving  them  to  wonder  at  the  change  of  man- 
ner this  midnight  magic  wrought  in  their  nurse.  A  few  talked 
busily;  one  drummer  boy  sang  sweetly,  though  no  persuasions 
could  win  a  note  from  him  by  day  ;  and  several  depended  on 
being  told  what  they  had  talked  of  in  the  morning.  Even  my 
constitutionals  in  the  chilly  halls,  possessed  a  certain  charm, 
for  the  house  was  never  still.  Sentinels  tramped  round  it  all 
night  long,  their  muskets  glittering  in  the  wintry  moonlight  as 
they  walked,  or  stood  before  the  doors,  straight  and  silent,  as 
figures  of  stone,  causing  one  to  conjure  up  romantic  visions  of 
guarded  forts,  sudden  surprises,  and  daring  deeds ;  for  in 
these  war  times  the  bum  dram  life  of  Yankeedom  has  vanished, 
and  the  most  prosaic  feel  some  thrill  of  that  excitement  which 
stirs  the  nation's  heart,  and  makes  its  capital  a  camp  of  hospit- 
als. Wandering  up  and  down  these  lower  halls,  I  often  heard 
cries  from  above,  steps  hurrying  to  and  fro,  saw  surgeons 
passing  up,  or  men  coming  clown  carrying  a,  stretcher,  where 
lay  a  long  white  figure,  whose  face  was  shrouded  and  whose 
fight  was  done.  Sometimes  I  stopped  to  watch  the  passers  in 
the  street,  the  moonlight  shining  on  the  spire  opposite,  or  the 
gleam  of  some  vessel  floating,  like  a  white-winged  sea-gull, 
down  the  broad  Potomac,  whose  fullest  flow  can  never  wash 
away  the  red  stain  of  the  land. 

The  night  whose  events  I  have  a  fancy  to  record,  opened 
with  a  little  comedy,  and  closed  with  a  great  tragedy  ;  for  a 
virtuous  and  useful  life  untimely  ended  is  always  tragical  to 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  51 

those  who  see  not  as  God  sees.  My  headquarters  were  beside 
the  bed  of  a  New  Jersey  boy,  crazed  by  the  horrors  of  that 
dreadful  Saturday.  A  slight  wound  in  the  kuee  brought  him 
there ;  but  his  mind  had  suffered  more  than  his  body  ;  some 
string  of  that  delicate  machine  was  over  strained,  and,  for 
days,  he  had  been  reliving,  in  imagination,  the  scenes  he  could 
not  forget,  till  his  distress  broke  out  in  incoherent  ravings, 
pitiful  to  hear.  As  I  sat  by  him,  endeavoring"  to  soothe  his 
poor  distracted  brain  by  the  constant  touch  of  wet  hands  over 
his  hot  forehead,  he  lay  cheering  his  comrades  on,  hurrying 
them  back,  then  counting  them  as  they  fell  around  him,  often 
clutching  my  arm,  to  drag  me  from  the  vicinity  of  a  bursting 
shell,  or  covering  up  his  head  to  screen  himself  from  a  shower 
of  shot ;  his  face  brilliant  with  fever;  his  eves  restless;  his 
head  never  still ;  every  muscle  strained  and  rigid ;  while  an 
incessant  stream  of  defiant  shouts,  whispered  warnings,  and 
broken  laments,  poured  from  his  lips  with  that  forceful  bewil- 
derment which  makes  such  wanderings  so  hard  to  overhear. 

It  was  past  eleven,  and  my  patient  was  slowly  weaiying 
himself  into  fitful  intervals  of  quietude,  when,  in  one  of  these 
pauses,  a  curious  sound  arrested  my  attention.  Looking  over 
my  shoulder,  I  saw  a  one-legged  phantom  hopping  nimbly 
down  the  room ;  and,  going  to  meet  it,  recognized  a  certain 
Pennsylvania  gentleman,  whose  wound-fever  had  taken  a  turn 
for  the  worse,  and,  depriving  him  of  the  few  wits  a  drunken 
campaign  tad  left  him,  set  him  literally  tripling  on  the  light, 
fantastic  toe  "  toward  home,"  as  he  blandly  informed  me, 
touching  the  military  cap  which  formed  a  striking  contrast  to 
the  severe  simplicity  of  the  rest  of  his  decidedly  undress  uni- 
form. When  sane,  tfie  least  movement  produced  a  roar  of 
pain  or  a  volley  of  oaths ;  but  the  departure  of  reason  seemed 
to  have  wrought  an  agreeable  change,  both  in  the  man  and  his 


52  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

manners  ;  for,  balancing  himself  on  one  leg,  like  a  meditative 
stork,  he  plunged  into  an  animated  discussion  of  the  war,  the 
President,  lager  beer,  and  Enfield  rifles,  regardless  of  any 
suggestions  of  mine  as  to  the  propriety  of  returning  to  bed, 
lest  he  be  court-martialed  for  desertion. 

Anything  more  supremely  ridiculous  can  hardly  be  imag- 
ined than  this  figure,  scantily  draped  in  white^  its  one  foot 
covered  with  a  big  blue  sock,  a  dingy  cap  set  rakingly  askew 
on  its  shaven  head,  and  placid  satisfaction  beaming  in  its 
broad  red  face,  as  it  flourished  a  mug  in  one  hand,  an  old 
boot  in  the  other,  calling  them  canteen  and  knapsack,  while  it 
skipped  and  fluttered  in  the  most  unearthly  fashion.  What  to 
do  with  the  creature  I  didn't  know  ;  Dan  was  absent,  and  if  I 
went  to  find  him,  the  perambulator  might  festoon  himself  out 
of  the  window,  set  his  toga  on  fire,  or  do  some  of  his  neighbors 
a  mischief.  The  attendant  of  the  room  was  sleeping  like  a 
near  relative  of  the  celebrated  Seven,  and  nothing  short  of 
pins  would  rouse  him  ;  for  he  had  been  out  that  day,  and  whis- 
key asserted  its  supremacy  in  balmy  whiffs.  Still  declaiming, 
in  a  fine  flow  of  eloquence,  the  demented  gentleman  hopped 
on,  blind  and  deaf  to  my  graspings  and  entreaties ;  and  I 
was  about  to  slam  the  door  in  his  face,  and  run  for  help,  when 
a  second  and  saner  phantom,  "all  in  white,"  came  to  the  rescue, 
in  the  likeness  of  a  big  Prussian,  who  spoke  no  English, 
but  divined  the  crisis,  and  put  an  end  to  it,  by  bundling  the 
lively  monoped  into  his  bed,  like  a  baby,  with  an  authoritative 
command  to  "stay  put,"  which  received  added  weight  from 
being  delivered  in  an  odd  conglomeration  of  French  and  Ger- 
man, accompanied  by  warning  wags  of  a  head  decorated  with 
a  }7ellow  cotton  night  cap,  rendered  most  imposing  by  a  tassel 
like  a  bell-pull.  Feather  exhausted  by  his  excursion,  the  mem- 
ber from   Pennsylvania  subsided;  and,  after  an  irrepressible 


IIOSPITAL   SKETCHES.  53 

laugh  together,  my  Prussian  ally  and  myself  were  returning 
to  our  places,  when  the  echo  of  a  sob  caused  us  to  glance  along 
the  beds.  It  came  from  one  in  the  corner  —  such  a  little  bed  ! 
—  and  such  a  tearful  little  face  looked  up  at  us,  as  we  stopped 
beside  it !  The  twelve  years  old  drummer  boy  was  not  sin<*" 
ing  now,  but  sobbing,  with  a  manly  effort  all  the  while  to  stifle 
the  distressful  sounds  that  would  break  out. 

"What  is  it,  Teddy?"  I  asked,  as  he  rubbed  the  tears 
away,  and  checked  himself  in  the  middle  of  a  great  sob  to 
answer  plaintively  : 

"  I've  got  a  chill,  ma'am,  but  I  aint  cryin'  for  that,  'cause 
I'm  used  to  it.  I  dreamed  Kit  was  here,  and  when  I  waked 
up  he  wasn't,  and  I  couldn't  help  it,  then." 

The  boy  came  in  with  the  rest,  and  the  man  who  was  taken 
dead  from  the  ambulance  was  the  Kit  he  mourned.  Well  ho 
might ;  for,  when  the  wounded  were  brought  from  Fredericks- 
burg, the  child  lay  in  one  of  the  camps  thereabout,  and 
this  good  friend,  though  sorely  hurt  himself,  would  not  leave 
him  to  the  exposure  and  neglect  of  such  a  time  and  place  ; 
but,  wrapping  him  in  his  own  blanket,  carried  him  in  his  arms 
to  the  transport,  tended  him  during  the  passage,  and  only 
yielded  up  his  charge  when  Death  met  him  at  the  door  of 
the  hospital  which  promised  care  and  comfort  for  the  boy. 
For  ten  days,  Teddy  had  shivered  or  burned  with  fever  and 
ague,  pining  the  while  for  Kit,  and  refusing  to  be  comforted, 
because  he  had  not  been  able  to  thank  him  for  the  generous 
protection,  which,  perhaps,  had  cost  the  giver's  life.  The 
vivid  dream  had  wrung  the  childish  heart  with  a  fresh  pan"-, 
and  when  I  tried  the  solace  fitted  for  his  years,  the  remorseful 
fear  that  haunted  him  found  vent  in  a  fresh  burst  of  tears,  as 
he  looked  at  the  wasted  hands  I  was  endeavoring  to  warm  : 

"  Oh  !  if  I'd  only  been  as  thin  when  Kit  carried  me  as  I  am 


54 


HOSPITAL   SKETCHES. 


now,  maybe  he  wouldn't  have  died ;  but  I  was  heavy,  he  was 
hurt  worser  than  we  knew,  and  so  it  killed  him  ;  and  I  didn't 
see  him,  to  say  good  bye." 

This  thought  had  troubled  him  in  secret ;  and  my  assur- 
ances that  his  friend  would  probably  have  died  at  all  events, 
hardly  assuaged  the  bitterness  of  his  regretful  grief. 

At  this  juncture,  the  delirious  man  began  to  shout ;  the  one- 
legged  rose  up  in  his  bed,  as  if  preparing  for  another  dart ; 
Teddy  bewailed  himself  more  piteously  than  before :  and  if 
ever  a  woman  was  at  her  wit's  end,  that  distracted  female  was 
Nurse  Periwinkle,  during  the  space  of  two  or  three  minutes, 
as  she  vibrated  between  the  three  beds,  like  an  agitated  pen- 
dulum. Like  a  most  opportune  reinforcement,  Dan,  the  bandy, 
appeared,  and  devoted  himself  to  the  lively  party,  leaving  me 
free  to  return  to  my  post;  for  the  Prussian,  with  a  nod  and  a 
smile,  took  the  lad  away  to  his  own  bed,  and  lulled  him  to 
sleep  with  a  soothing  murmur,  like  a  mammoth  humble  bee. 
I  liked  that  in  Fritz,  and  if  he  ever  wondered  afterward  at  the 
dainties  which  sometimes  found  their  way  into  his  rations,  or 
the  extra  comforts  of  his  bed,  he  might  have  found  a  solution 
of  the  mystery  in  sundry  persons'  knowledge  of  the  fatherly 
action  of  that  night. 

Hardly  was  I  settled  again,  when  the  inevitable  bowl 
appeared,  and  its  bearer  delivered  a  message  I  had  expected, 
yet  dreaded  to  receive  : 

"  John  is  going,  ma'am,  and  wants  to  see  you,  if  you  cau 
come." 

"  The  moment  this  boy  is  asleep;  tell  him  so,  and  let  me 
know  if  I  am  in  danger  of  being  too  late." 

My.  Ganymede  departed,  and  while  I  quieted  poor  Shaw,  I 
thought  of  John.  He  came  in  a  day  or  two  after  the  others  ; 
and,  one  evening,  when  I  entered  my   "pathetic  room,"   I 


HOSPITAL   SKETCHES.  55 

found  a  lately  emptied  bed  occupied  by  a  large,  fair  man, 
with  a  fine  face,  and  the  serenest  eyes  I  ever  met.  One  of 
the  earlier  comers  had  often  spoken  of  a  friend,  who  had 
remained  behind,  that  those  apparently  worse  wounded  than 
himself  might  reach  a  shelter  'first.  It  seemed  a  David  and 
Jonathan  sort  of  friendship.  The  man  fretted  for  his  mate, 
and  was  never  tired  of  praising  John — his  courage,  sobriety, 
self-denial,  and  unfailing  kindliness  of  heart ;  always  winding 
up  with,:  "  He's  an  out  an'  out  fine  feller,  ma'am  ;  you  see 
if  he  aint." 

I  had  some  curiosity  to  behold  this  piece  of  excellence,  and 
when  he  came,  watched  him  for  a  night  or  two,  before  I  made 
friends  with  him  ;  for,  to  tell  the  truth,  I  was  a  little  afraid  of 
the  stately  looking  man,  whose  bed  had  to  be  lengthened  to 
accommodate  his  commanding  stature  ;  who  seldom  spoke, 
uttered  no  complaint,  asked  no  sympathy,  but  tranquilly 
observed  what  went  on  about  him  ;  and,  as  he  lay  high  upon 
his  pillows,  no  picture  of  dying  statesman  or  warrior  was  ever 
fuller  of  real  dignity  than  this  Virginia  blacksmith.  A  most 
attractive  face  he  had,  framed  in  brown  hair  and  beard,  comely 
featured  and  full  of  vigor,  as  yet  unsubdued  by  pain  ;  thought- 
ful and  often  beautifully  mild  while  watching  the  afflictions  of 
others,  as  if  entirely  forgetful  of  his  own.  His  mouth  was 
grave  and  firm,  with  plenty  of  will  and  courage  in  its  lines, 
but  a  smile  could  make  it  as  sweet  as  any  woman's  ;  and  his 
eyes  were  child's  eyes,  looking  one  fairly  in  the  face,  with  a 
clear,  straightforward  glance,  which  promised  well  for  such  as 
placed  their  faith  in  him.  He  seemed  to  cling  to  life,  as  if  it 
were  rich  in  duties  and  delights,  and  he  had  learned  the  secret 
of  content.  The  only  time  I  saw  his  composure  disturbed, 
was  when  my  surgeon  brought  another  to  examine  John,  who 
scrutinized  their  faces  with  an  anxious  look,  asking  of  the 


56  HOSPITAL   SKETCHES. 

elder  :  "  Do  you  think  I  shall  pull  through,  sir?"  "  I  hope 
so,  my  man."  And,  as  the  two  passed  on,  John's  eye  still 
followed  them,  with  an  intentness  which  would  have  won  a 
clearer  answer  from  them,  had  they  seen  it.  A.  momentary 
shadow  flitted  over  his  face ;  then  came  the  usual  serenity,  as 
if,  in  that  brief  eclipse,  he  had  acknowledged  the  existence  of 
some  hard  possibility,  and,  asking  nothing  yet  hoping  all 
things,  left  the  issue  in  God's  hands,  with  that  submission 
which  is  true  piety. 

The  next  night,  as  I  went  my  rounds  with  Dr.  P.,  I 
happened  to  ask  which  man  in  the  room  probably  suffered 
most ;  and,    to  my  great  surprise,  he  glanced  at  John  : 

'•  Every  breath  he  draws  is  like  a  stab ;  for  the  ball  pierced 
the  left  lung,  broke  a  rib,  and  did  no  end  of  damage  here  and 
there  ;  so  the  poor  lad  can  find  neither  forgetfulness  nor  ease, 
because  he  must  lie  on  his  wounded  back  or  suffocate.  It 
will  be  a  hard  straggle,  and  a  long  one,  for  he  possesses  great 
vitality ;  but  even  his  temperate  life  can't  save  him  ;  I  wish  it 
could." 

"  You  don't  mean  he  must  die,  Doctor?" 

"  Bless  you,  there's  not  the  slightest  hope  for  him  ;  and 
you'd  better  tell  him  so  before  long ;  women  have  a  way  of 
doing  such  things  comfortably,  so  I  leave  it  to  you.  He 
won't  last  more  than  a  day  or  two,  at  furthest." 

I  could  have  sat  down  on  the  spot  and  cried  heartily,  if  I 
had  not  learned  the  wisdom  of  bottling  up  one's  tears  for 
leisure  moments.  Such  an  end  seemed  very  hard  for  such  a 
man,  when  half  a  dozen  worn  out,  worthless  bodies  round  him, 
were  gathering  up  the  remnants  of  wasted  lives,  to  linger  on 
for  years  perhaps,  burdens  to  others,  daily  reproaches  to 
themselves.  The  army  needed  men  like  John,  earnest,  brave, 
and  faithful;  fighting  for  liberty  and  justice  with  both  heart 


IIOSPITxiL    SKETCHES.  57 

and  hand,  true  soldiers  of  the  Lord.  I  could  not  give  hira 
up  so  soon,  or  think  with  any  patience  of  so  excellent  a  nature 
robbed  of  its  fulfiment,  and  blundered  into  eternity  by  the 
rashness  or  stupidity  of  those  at  whose  hands  so  many  lives 
may  be  required.  It  was  an  easy  thing  for  Dr.  P.  to  say : 
"  Tell  him  he  must  die,"  but  a  cruelly  hard  thing  to  do,  and 
by  no  means  as  "  comfortable  "  as  he  politely  suggested.  I 
had  not  the  heart  to  do  it  then,  and  privately  indulged  the 
hope  that  some  change  for  the  better  might  take  place,  in  spite 
of  gloomy  prophesies ;  so,  rendering  my  task  unnecessary.  A 
few  minutes  later,  as  I  came  in  again,  with  fresh  rollers,  I  saw 
John  sitting  erect,  with  no  one  to  support  him,  while  the 
surgeon  dressed  his  back.  I  had  never  hitherto  seen  it  done  ; 
for,  having  simpler  wounds  to  attend  to,  and  knowing  the 
fidelity  of  the  attendant,  I  had  left  John  to  him,  thinking 
it  might  be  more  agreeable  and  safe  ;  for  both  strength  and 
experience  were  needed  in  his  case.  I  had  forgotten  that  the 
strong  man  might  long  for  the  gentler  tendance  of  a  woman's 
hands,  the  sympathetic  magnetism  of  a  woman's  presence,  as 
well  as  the  feebler  souls  about  him.  The  Doctor's  words 
caused  me  to  reproach  myself  with  neglect,  not  of  auy  real 
daty  perhaps,  but  of  those  little  cares  and  kindnesses  that 
solace  homesick  spirits,  and  make  the  heavy  hours  pass  easier. 
John  looked  lonely  and  forsaken  just  then,  as  he  sat  with  bent 
head,  hands  folded  on  his  knee,  and  no  outward  sign  of  suffering, 
till,  looking  nearer,  I  saw  great  tears  roll  down  and  drop 
upon  the  floor.  It  was  a  new  sight  there  ;  for,  though  I  had 
seen  many  suffer,  some  swore,  some  groaned,  most  endured 
silently,  but  none  wept.  Yet  it  did  not  seem  weak,  only  very 
touching,  and  straightway  my  fear  vanished,  my  heart  opened 
wide  and  took  him  in,  as,  gathering  the  bent  head  in  my  arms, 


58  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

as  freely  as  if  be  had  been  a  little  child,  I  said,  "Let  me 
help  you  bear  it,  John." 

Never,  on  any  human  countenance,  have  I  seen  so  swift 
and  beautiful  a  look  of  gratitude,  surprise  and  comfort,  as  that 
which  answered  me  more  eloquently  than  the  whispered  — 

"  Thank  you,  ma'am,  this  is  right  good  !  this  is  what  I 
wanted  !" 

"  Then  why  not  ask  for  it  before?" 

11 1  didn't  like  to  be  a  trouble ;  you  seemed  so  busy,  and  I 
could  manage  to  get  on  alone." 

"  You  shall  not  want  it  any  more,  John." 

Nor  did  he  ;  for  now  I  understood  the  wistful  look  that 
sometimes  followed  me,  as  I  went  out,  after  a  brief  pause 
beside  his  bed,  or  merely  a  passing  nod,  while  busied  with 
those  who  seemed  to  need  me  more  than  he,  because  more 
urgent  in  their  demands  ;  now  I  knew  that  to  him,  as  to  so 
many,  I  was  the  poor  substitute  for  mother,  wife,  or  sister, 
and  in  his  eyes  no  stranger,  but  a  friend  who  hitherto  had 
seemed  neglectful ;  for.  in  his  modesty,  he  had  never  guessed 
the  truth.  This  was  changed  now  ;  and,  through  the  tedious 
operation  of  probing,  bathing,  and  dressing  his  wounds,  he 
leaned  against  me,  holding  my  band  fast,  and,  if  pain  wrung 
further  tears  from  him,  no  one  saw  them  fall  but  me.  When 
be  was  laid  down  again,  I  hovered  about  him,  in  a  remorseful 
state  of  mind  that  would  not  let  me  rest,  till  I  had  bathed  his 
face,  brushed  his  "  bonny  brown  hair,"  set  all  things  smooth 
about  him,  and  laid  a  knot  of  heath  and  heliotrope  on  his 
clean  pillow.  While  doing  this,  he  watched  me  with  the  sat- 
isfied expression  I  so  liked  to  see ;  and  when  I  offered  the 
little  nosegay,  held  it  carefully  in  his  great  hand,  smoothed  a 
ruffled  leaf  or  two,  surveyed  and  smelt  it  with  an  air  of  (, 
geuuine  delight,  and  lay  contentedly  regarding  the  glimmer  of 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  59 

the  sunshine  on  the  green.  Although  the  manliest  man  among 
my  forty,  he  said,  M  Yes,  ma'am,"  like  a  little  boy  ;  received 
suggestions  for  his  comfort  with  the  quick  smile  that  brightened 
his  whole  face ;  and  now  and  then,  as  I  stood  tidying  the 
table  by  his  bed,  I  felt  him  softly  touch  my  gown,  as  if  to 
assure  himself  that  I  was  there.  Anything  more  natural  and 
frank  I  never  saw,  and  found  this  brave  John  as  bashful  as 
brave,  yet  full  of  excellencies  and  fine  aspirations,  which, 
having  no  power  to  express  themselves  in  words,  seemed  to 
have  bloomed  into  his  character  and  made  him  what  he  was. 

After  that  night,  an  hour  of  each  evening  that  remained  to 
him  was  devoted  to  his  ease  or  pleasure.  He  could  not  talk 
much,  for  breath  was  precious,  and  he  spoke  in  whispers;  but 
from  occasional  conversations,  I  gleaned  scraps  of  private 
history  which  only  added  to  the  affection  and  respect  I  felt  for 
him.  Once  he  asked  me  to  write  a  letter,  and  as  I  settled  pen 
and  paper,  I  said,  with  an  irrepressible  glimmer  of  feminine 
curiosity,  "  Shall  it  be  addressed  to  wife,  or  mother,  John?" 

"  Neither,  ma'am  ;  I've  got  no  wife,  and  will  write  to 
mother  myself  when  I  get  better.  Did  you  think  I  was 
married  because  of  this?"  he  asked,  touching  a  plain  ring  he 
wore,  and  often  turned  thoughtfully  on  his  finger  when  he  lay 
alone. 

"  Partly  that,  but  more  from  a  settled  sort  of  look  you 
have,  a  look  which  young  men  seldom  get  until  they  marry." 

"  I  don't  know  that ;  but  I'm  not  so  very  young,  ma'am, 
thirty  in  May,  and  have  been  what  you  might  call  settled  this 
ten  years ;  for  mother's  a  widow,  I'm  the  oldest  child  she  has, 
and  it  wouldn't  do  for  me  to  marry  until  Lizzy  has  a  home  of 
her  own,  and  Laurie's  learned  his  trade ;  for  we're  not  rich, 
and  I  must  be  father  to  the  children  and  husband  to  the  dear 
old  woman,  if  I  can." 


60  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

"  No  doubt  but  you  are  both,  John  ;  yet  how  came  you  to 
go  to  war,  if  you  felt  so  ?  Wasn't  enlisting  as  bad  as  mar- 
rying?" 

"  No,  ma'am,  not  as  I  see  it,  for  one  is  helping  my  neighbor, 
the  other  pleasing  myself.  I  went  because  I  couldn't  help  it. 
I  didn't  want  the  glory  or  the  pay  ;  I  wanted  the  right  thing 
done,  and  people  kept  saying  the  men  who  were  in  earnest 
ought  to  fight.  I  was  in  earnest,  the  Lord  knows  !  but  I  held 
off  as  long  as  I  could,  not  knowing  which  was  my  duty; 
mother  saw  the  case,  gave  me  her  ring  to  keep  me  steady,  and 
said  '  Go  :'  so  I  went." 

A  short  story  and  a  simple  one,  but  the  man  and  the  mother 
were  portrayed  better  than  pages  of  fine  writing  could  have 
done  it. 

"  Do  you  ever  regret  that  you  came,  when  you  lie  here 
suffering  so  much  ?" 

"  Never,  ma'am  ;  I  haven't  helped  a  great  deal,  but  I've 
shown  I  was  willing  to  give  my  life,  and  perhaps  I've  got  to  ; 
but  I  don't  blame  anybody,  and  if  it  was  to  do  over  again,  I'd 
do  it.  I'm  a  little  sorry  I  wasn't  wounded  in  front ;  it  looks 
cowardly  to  be  hit  in  the  back,  but  I  obeyed  orders,  and  it 
don't  matter  in  the  end,  I  know." 

Poor  John  !  it  did  not  matter  now,  except  that  a  shot  in 
front  might  have  spared  the  long  agony  in  store  for  him.  He 
seemed  to  read  the  thought  that  troubled  me,  as  he  spoke  so 
hopefully  when  there  was  no  hope,  for  he  suddenly  added  : 

11  This  is  my  first  battle ;  do  they  think  it's  going  to  be  my 
last?" 

"  I'm  afraid  they  do,  John." 

It  was  the  hardest  question  I  had  ever  been  called  upon  to 
answer  ;  doubly  hard  with  those  clear  eyes  fixed  on  mine, 
forcing  a  truthful  answer  by  their  own  truth.     He  seemed  a 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  Gl 

little  startled  at  first,  pondered  over  the  fateful  fact  a  moment 
then  shook  his  head,  with  a  glance  at  the  broad  chest  and 
muscular  limbs  stretched  out  before  him  : 

"  I'm  not  afraid,  but  it's  difficult  to  believe  all  a*t  once.  I'm 
so  strong  it  don't  seem  possible  for  such  a  little  wound  to  kill 
me." 

Merry  Mercutio's  dying  wprds  glanced  through  my  memory 
as  he  spoke  :  "  'Tis  not  so  deep  as  a  well,  nor  so  wide  as  a 
church  door,  but  'tis  enough."  And  John  would  have  said 
the  same  could  he  have  seen  the  ominous  black  holes  between 
his  shoulders,  he  never  had ;  and,  seeing  the  ghastly  sights 
about  him,  could  not  believe  his  own  wound  more  fatal  than 
these,  for  all  the  suffering  it  caused  him. 

"Shall  I  write  to  your  mother,  now?"  I  asked,  thinking 
that  these  sudden  tidings  might  change  all  plans  and  puposes° 
but  they  did  not ;  for  the  man  received  the  order  of  the  Divine 
Commander  to  march  with  the  same  unquestioning  obedience 
with  which  the  soldier  had  received  that  of  the  human  one, 
doubtless  remembering  that  the  first  led  him; to  life,  and  the 
last  to  death. 

"No,  ma'am;  to  Laurie  just  the  same;  he'll  break  it  to 
her  best,  and  Til  add  a  line  to  her  myself  when  you  get 
done." 

So  I  wrote  the  letter  which  be  dictated,  finding  it  better 
than  any  I  had  sent ;  for,  though  here  and  there  a  little  ungram 
matical  or  inelegant,  each  sentence  came  to  me  briefly  worded, 
but  most  expressive;  full  of  excellent  counsel  to  the  boy, 
tenderly  bequeathing  "  mother  and  Lizzie  "  to  his  care,  and 
bidding  him  good  bye  in  words  the  sadder  for  their  simplicity. 
He  added  a  few  lines,  with  steady  hand,  and,  as  I  sealed  it, 
said,  with  a  patient  sort  of  sigh,  "I  hope  the  answer  will 
come  in  time  for  me  to  see  it;"  then,  turning  away  his  face, 


62  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

laid  the  flowers  against  his  lips,  as  if  to  hide  some  quiver  of 
emotion  at  the  thought  of  such  a  sudden  sundering  of  all  the 
dear  home  ties. 

These  things  had  happened  two  days  before ;  now  John 
was  dying,  and  the  letter  had  not  come.  I  had  been  sum- 
moned to  many  death  beds  in  my  life,  but  to  none  that  made 
my  heart  ache  as  it  did  then,  since  my  mother  called  me  to 
watch  the  departure  of  a  spirit  akin  to  this  in  its  gentleness 
and  patient  strength.  As  I  went  in,  John  stretched  out  both 
hands : 

"  I  knew  you'd  come  !     I  guess  I'm  moving  on,  ma'am." 

He  was ;  and  so  rapidly  that,  even  while  he  spoke,  over  his 
face  I  saw  the  grey  veil  falling  that  no  human  hand  can  lift. 
I  sat  down  by  him,  wiped  the  drops  from  his  forehead,  stirred 
the  air  about  him  with  the  slow  wave  of  a  fan,  and  waited  to 
help  him  die.  He  stood  in  sore  need  of  help — and  I  could 
do  so  little  ;  for,  as  the  doctor  had  foretold,  the  strong  body 
rebelled  against  death,  and  fought  every  inch  of  the  way, 
forcing  him  to  draw  each  breath  with  a  spasm,  and  clench  his 
hands  with  an  imploring  look,  as  if  he  asked,  "  How  long 
must  I  endure  this,  and  be  still!"  For  hours  he  suffered 
dumbly,  without  a  moment's  respite,  or  a  moment's  murmuring ; 
his  limbs  grew  cold,  his  face  damp,  his  lips  white,  and,  again 
and  again,  he  tore  the  covering  off  his  breast,  as  if  the  lightest 
weight  added  to  his  agony ;  yet  through  it  all,  his  eyes  never 
lost  their  perfect  serenity,  and  the  man's  soul  seemed  to  sit 
therein,  undaunted  by  the  ills  that  vexed  his  flesh. 

One  by  one,  the  men  woke,  and  round  the  room  appeared 
a  circle  of  pale  faces  -and  watchful  eyes,  full  of  awe  and  pity  ; 
for,  though  a  stranger,  John  was  beloved  by  all.  Each  man 
there  had  wondered  at  his  patience,  respected  his  piety,  admired 
his   fortitude,   and   now   lamented    his   hard    death ;    for   the 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  63 

influence  of  an  upright  nature  had  made  itself  deeply  felt, 
even  in  one  little  week.  Preseutly,  the  Jonathan  who  so 
loved  this  comely  David,  came  creeping  from  his  bed  for  a 
last  look  and  word.  The  kind  soul  was  full  of  trouble,  as  the 
choke  in  his  voice,  the  grasp  of  his  hand,  betrayed  ;  but  there 
were  no  tears,  and  the  farewell  of  the  friends  was  the  more 
touching  for  its  brevity. 

"  Old  boy,  how  are  you?"  faltered  the  one. 

"  Most  through,  thank  heaven  !"   whispered  the  other. 

'*  Can  I  say  or  do  anything  for  you  anywheres?" 

'•  Take  my  things  home,  and  tell  them  that  I  did  my  best." 

"  I  will  !  I  will !" 

"Good  bye,  Ned." 

11  Good  bye,  John,  good  bye !" 

They  kissed  each  other,  tenderly  as  women,  and  so  parted, 
for  poor  Ned  could  not  stay  to  see  his  comrade  die.  For  a 
little  while,  there  was  no  sound  in  the  room  but  the  drip  of 
water,  from  a  stump  or  two,  and  John's  distressful  gasps,  as 
he  slowly  breathed  his  life  away.  I  thought  him  nearly  gone, 
and  had  just  laid  down  the  fan,  believing  its  help  to  be  no 
longer  needed,  when  suddenly  he  rose  up  in  his  bed,  and  cried 
out  with  a  bitter  cry  that  broke  the  silence,  sharply  startling 
every  one  with  its  agonized  appeal : 

"  For  God's  sake,  give  me  air  !" 

It  was  the  only  cry  pain  or  death  had  wrung  from  him,  the 
only  boon  he  had  asked  ;  and  none  of  us  could  grant  it,  for 
all  the  airs  that  blew  were  useless  now.  Dan  flung  up  the 
window.  The  first  red  streak  of  dawn  was  warming  the  grey 
east,  a  herald  of  the  coming  sun  ;  John  saw  it,  and  with  the 
love  of  light  which  lingers  in  us  to  the  end,  seemed  to  read  in 
it  a  sign  of  hope  of  help,  for,  over  his  whole  face  there  broke 
that  mysterious  expression,  brighter  than   any  smile,  which 


64  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

often  comes  to  eyes  that  look  their  last.  He  laid  himself 
gently  down  ;  and,  stretching  out  his  strong  right  arm,  as.  if  to 
grasp  and  bring  the  blessed  air  to  his  lips  in  a  fuller  flow, 
lapsed  into  a  merciful  unconsciousness,  which  assured  us  that 
for  him  suffering  was  forever  past.  He  died  then  ;  for,  though 
the  heavy  breaths  still  tore  their  way  up  for  a  little  longer, 
they  were  but  the  waves  of  an  ebbing  tide  that  beat  unfelt 
against  the  wreck,  which  an  immortal  voyager  bad  deserted 
with  a  smile.  He  never  spoke  again,  but  to  the  end  held  my 
hand  close,  so  close  that  when  he  was  asleep  at  last,  I  could 
not  draw  it  away.  Dan  helped  me,  warning  me  as  he  did  so 
that  it  was  unsafe  for  dead  and  living  flesh  to  lie  so  long 
together  j  but  though  my  hand  was  strangely  cold  and  stiff, 
and  four  white  marks  remained  across  its  back,  even  when 
warmth  and  color  had  returned  elsewhere,  I  could  not  but  be 
glad  that,  through  its  touch,  the  presence  of  human  sympathy, 
perhaps,  had  lightened  that  hard  hour. 

When  they  had  made  him  ready  for  the  grave,  John  lay  in 
state  for  half  an  hour,  a  thing  which  seldom  happened  in  that 
busy  place  ;  but  a  universal  sentiment  of  reverence  and 
affection  seemed  to  fill  the  hearts  of  all  who  had  known  or 
heard  of  him  ;  and  when  the  rumor  of  his  death  went  through 
the  house,  always  astir,  many  came  to  see  him,  and  I  felt  a 
tender  sort  of  pride  in  my  lost  patient ;  for  he  looked  a  most 
heroic  figure,  lying  there  stately  and  still  as  the  statue  of  some 
young  knight  asleep  upon  his  tomb.  The  lovely  expression 
which  so  often  beautifies  dead  faces,  soon  replaced  the  marks 
of  pain,  and  I  longed  for  those  who  loved  him  best  to  see  him 
when  half  an  hour's  acquaintance  with  Death  had  made  them 
friends.  As  we  stood  looking  at  him,  the  ward  master  handed 
me  a  letter,  saying  it  had  been  forgotten  the  night  before.  It 
was  John's  letter,  come  just  an  hour  too  late  to  gladden  the 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  65 

eyes  that  bad  longed  and  looked  for  it  so  eagerly :  yet  he  had 
it ;  for,  after  I  had  cut  some  brown  locks  for  bis  mother,  and 
taken  off  the  ring  to  send  her,  telling  how  well  the  talisman 
bad  done  its  work,  I  kissed  this  good  son  for  her  sake,  and 
laid  the  letter  in  his  hand,  still  folded  as  when  I  drew  my 
own  away,  feeling  that  its  place  was  there,  and  making  myself 
happy  with  the  thought,  that,  even  in  his  solitary  place  in  the 
"  Government  Lot,"  he  would  not  be  without  some  token  of 
the  love  which  makes  life  beautiful  and  outlives  death.  Then 
I  left  him,  glad  to  have  known  so  genuine  a  man,  and  carrying 
with  me  an  enduring  memory  of  the  brave  Virginia  blacksmith, 
as  he  lay  serenely  waiting  for  the  dawn  of  that  long  day 
which  knows  no  night. 


66  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 


CHAPTER  V. 

OFF    DUTY. 

"  My  clear  girl,  we  shall  have  you  sick  in  your  bed,  unless 
you  keep  yourself  warm  and  quiet  for  a  few  days.  Widow 
Wadman  can  take  care  of  the  ward  alone,  now  the  men  are  so 
comfortable,  and  have  her  vacation  when  you  are  about  again. 
Now  do  be  prudent  in  time,  and  don't  let  me  have  to  add  a 
Periwinkle  to  my  bouquet  of  patients." 

This  advice  was  delivered,  in  a  paternal  manner,  by  the 
youngest  surgeon  in  the  hospital,  a  kind-hearted  little  gentle- 
man, who  seemed  to  consider  me  a  frail  young  blossom,  that 
needed  much  cherishing,  instead  of  a  tough  old  spinster,  who 
had  been  knocking  about  the  world  for  thirty  years.  At  the 
time  I  write  of,  he  discovered  me  sitting  on  the  stairs,  with  a 
nice  cloud  of  unwholesome  steam  rising  from  the  washroom ; 
a  party  of  January  breezes  disporting  themselves  in  the  halls ; 
and  perfumes,  by  no  means  from  "  Araby  the  blest,"  keeping 
;hem  company  ;  while  I  enjoyed  a  fit  of  coughing,  which 
caused  my  head  to  spin  in  a  way  that  made  the  application  of 
a  cool  banister  both  necessary  and  agreeable,  as  I  waited  for 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  67 

the  frolicsome  wind  to  restore  the  breath  I'd  lost ;  cheering 
myself,  meantime,  with  a  secret  conviction  that  pneumonia 
was  waiting  for  me  round  the  corner.  This  piece  of  advice 
had  been  offered  by  several  persons  for  a  week,  and  refused 
by  me  with  the  obstinacy  with  which  my  sex  is  so  richly  gifted. 
But  the  last  few  hours  had  developed  several  surprising  internal 
and  external  phenomena,  which  impressed  upon  me  the  fact 
that  if  I  didn't  make  a  masterly  retreat  very  soon,  I  should 
tumble  down  somewhere,  and  have  to  be  borne  ignominiously 
from  the  field.  My  head  felt  like  a  cannon  ball ;  my  feet  had 
a  tendency  to  cleave  to  the  floor ;  the  walls  at  times  undulated 
in  a  most  disagreeable  manner;  people  looked  unnaturally 
big  ;  and  the  "  very  bottles  on  the  mankle  shelf  "  appeared  to 
dance  derisively  before  my  eyes.  Taking  these  things  into 
consideration,  while  blinking  stupidly  at  Dr.  Z.,  I  resolved  to 
retire  gracefully,  if  I  must ;  so.  with  a  valedictory  to  my  boys, 
a  private  lecture  to  Mrs.  Wadman,  and  a  fervent  wish  that  I 
could  take  off  my  body  and  work  in  my  soul,  I  mournfully 
ascended  tv  my  apartment,  and  Nurse  P.  was  reported  off 
duty. 

For  the  benefit  of  any  ardent  damsel  whose  patriotic  fancy 
may  have  surrounded  hospital  life  with  a  halo  of  charms,  I 
will  briefly  describe  the  bower  to  which  I  retired,  in  a  somewhat 
ruinous  condition.  It  was  well  ventilated,  for  five  panes  of 
glass  had  suffered  compound  fractures,  which  all  the  surgeons 
and  nurses  had  failed  to  heal ;  the  two  windows  were  draped 
with  sheets,  the  church  hospital  opposite  being  a  brick  and 
mortar  Argus,  and  the  female  mind  cherishing  a  prejudice  in 
favor  of  retiracy  during  the  night-capped  periods  of  existence. 
A  bare  floor  supported  two  narrow  iron  beds,  spread  with  thin 
mattrasscs  like  plasters,  furnished  with  pillows  in  the  last 
stages  of  consumption.     In  a  fire  place,  guiltless  of  shovel, 


68  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

tongs,  andirons,  or  grate,  burned  a  log,  inch  by  inch,  being  too 
long  to  go  on  all  at  once ;  so,  while  the  fire  blazed  away  at  one 
end,  I  did  the  same  at  the  other,  as  I  tripped  over  it  a  dozen 
times  a  day,  and  flew  up  to  poke  it  a  dozen  times  at  night.  A 
mirror  (let  us  be  elegant  !  )  of  the  dimensions  of  a  muffin, 
and  about  as  reflective,  hung  over  a  tin  basin,  blue  pitcher, 
and  a  brace  of  yellow  mugs.  Two  invalid  tables,  ditto  chairs, 
wandered  here  and  there,  and  the  closet  contained  a  varied 
colle3tion  of  bonnets,  bottles,  bags,  boots,  bread  and  butter, 
boxes  and  bugs.  The  closet  was  a  regular  Blue  Beard 
cupboard  to  me ;  I  always  opened  it  with  fear  and  trembling, 
owing  to  rats,  and  shut  it  in  anguish  of  spirit ;  for  time  and 
space  were  not  to  be  had,  and  chaos  leigned  along  with  the 
rats.  Our  chimney-piece  was  decorated  with  a  flat-iron,  a 
Bible,  a  candle  minus  stick,  a  lavender  bottle,  a  new  tin  pan, 
so  brilliant  that  it  served  nicely  for  a  pier-glass,  and  such  of 
the  portly  black  bugs  as  preferred  a  warmer  climate  than  the 
rubbish  hole  afforded.  Two  arks,  commonly  called  trunks, 
lurked  behind  the  door,  containing  the  worldly  goods  of  the 
twain  who  laughed  and  cried,  slept  and  scrambled,  in  this 
refuge  ;  while  from  the  white-washed  walls  above  either  bed, 
looked  down  the  pictured  faces  of  those  whose  memory  can 
make  for  us  — 

"  One  little  room  an  everywhere." 

For  a  "day  or  two  I  managed  to  appear  at  meals ;  for  the 
human  grub  must  eat  till  the  butterfly  is  ready  to  break  loose, 
and  no  one  had  time  to  come  up  two  flights  while  it  was 
possible  for  me  to  come  down.  Far  be  it  from  me  to  add 
another  atfliction  or  reproach  to  that  enduring  man,  the  stew- 
ard; for,  compared  with  his  predecessor,  he  was  a  horn  of 
plenty ;   but  —  I  put  it  to   any   candid  mind  —  is  not   the 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  69 

• 

following  bill  of  fare  susceptible  of  improvement,  without 
plunging  the  nation  madly  into  debt?  The  three  meals  were 
*'  pretty  much  of  a  muchness,"  and  consisted  of  beef,  evidently 
put  down  for  the  men  of  '7G  •  pork,  just  in  from  the  street ; 
army  bread,  composed  of  saw-dust  and  saleratus  ;  butter,  salt 
as  if  churned  by  Lot's  wife ;  stewed  blackberries,  so  much 
like  preserved  cockroaches,  that  only  those  devoid  of  imagina- 
tion could  partake  thereof  with  relish  ;  coffee,  mild  and 
muddy;  tea,  three  dried  huckleberry  leaves  to  a  quart  of 
water  —  flavored  with  lime  —  also  animated  and  unconscious  of 
any  approach  to  clearness.  "Variety  being  the  spice  of  life,  a 
small  pinch  of  the  article  would  have  been  appreciated  by  the 
hungry,  hard-working  sisterhood,  one  of  whom,  though  accus- 
tomed to  plain  fare,  soon  found  herself  reduced  to  bread  and 
water  ;  having  an  inborn  repugnance  to  the  fat  of  the  land, 
and  the  salt  of  the  earth. 

Another  peculiarity  of  these  hospital  meals  was  the  rapidity 
with  which  th  e  edibles  vanished,  and  the  impossibility  of  getting 
a  drop  or  crumb  after  the  usual  time.  At  the  first  ring  of  the 
bell,  a  general  stampede  took  place  ;  some  twenty  hungry 
souls  rushed  to  the  dining-room,  swept  over  the  table  like  a 
swarm  of  locusts,  and  left  no  fragment  for  any  tardy  creature 
who  arrived  fifteen  minutes  late.  Thinking  it  of  more  import- 
ance that  the  patients  should  be  well  and  comfortably  fed,  I 
took  my  time  about  my  own  meals  for  the  first  day  or  two 
after  I  came,  but  was  speedily  enlightened  by  Isaac,  the  black 
waiter,  who  bore  with  me  a  few  times,  and  then  informed  me, 
looking  as  stern  as  fate  : 

"  I  say,  mam,  ef  you  comes  so  late  you  can't  have  no 
vittles,  —  'cause  I'm  'bleeged  fer  ter  git  things  ready  fer  de 
doctors  'mazin'  spry  arter  you  nusses  and  folks  is  done.  De 
gen'lemen  don't  kerc  fer  ter  wait,  no  more  does  I;  so  you 


70  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

jes'  please  ter  come  at  de  time,  and  dere  won't  be  no  frettin' 
nowheres." 

It  was  a  new  sensation  to  stand  looking  at  a  full  table, 
painfully  conscious  of  one  of  the  vacuums  which  Nature 
abhors,  and  receive  orders  to  right  about  face,  without 
partaking  of  the  nourishment  which  your  inner  woman  clam, 
orously  demanded.  The  doctors  always  fared  better  than  we ; 
and  for  a  moment  a  desperate  impulse  prompted  me  to  give 
tbem  a  hint,  by  walking  off  with  the  mutton,  or  confiscating 
the  pie.  But  Ike's  eye  was  on  me,  and,  to  my  shame  be  it 
spoken,  I  walked  meekly  away  ;  went  dinnerless  that  day, 
and  that  evening  went  to  market,  laying  in  a  small  stock  of 
crackers,  cheese  and  apples,  that  my  boys  might  not  be 
neglected,  nor  myself  obliged  to  bolt  solid  and  liquid  dyspep- 
sias, or  starve.  This  plan  would  have  succeeded  admirably 
had  not  the  evil  star  under  which  I  was  born,  been  in  the 
ascendant  during  that  month,  and  cast  its  malign  influences 
even  into  my  "  'umble  "  larder  ;  for  the  rats  had  their  dessert 
off  my  cheese,  the  bugs  set  up  housekeeping  in  my  cracker- 
bag,  and  the  apples  like  all  worldly  riches,  took  to  themselves 
wings  and  flew  away ;  whither  no  man  could  tell,  though 
certain  black  imps  might  have  thrown  light  upon  the  matter, 
had  not  the  plaintiff  in  the  case  been  loth  to  add  another  to 
the  many  trials  of  long-suffering  Africa.  After  this  failure  I 
resigned  myself  to  fate,  and,  remembering  that  bread  was  called 
the  staff  of  life,  leaned  pretty  exclusively  upon  it ;  but  it 
proved  a  broken  reed,  and  I  came  to  the  ground  after  a  few 
weeks  of  prison  fare,  varied  by  an  occasional  potato  or  surrep- 
titious sip  of  milk. 

Very  soon  after  leaving  the  care  of  my  ward,  I  discovered 
that  I  had  no  appetite,  and  cut  the  bread  and  butter  interests 
almost   entirely,  trying  the  exercise  and  sun  cure  instead. 


HOSFITAL    SKETCHES.  71 

Flattering  myself  that  I  had  plenty  of  time,  and  could  see  a  11 
that  was  to  be  seen,  so  far  as  a  lone  lorn  female  could  venture 
in  a  city,  one-half  of  whose  male  population  seemed  to  be 
taking  the  other  half  to  the  guard-house,  —  every  morning  I 
took  a  brisk  run  in  one  direction  or  another  ;  for  the  January 
days  were  as  mild  as  Spring.  A  rollicking  north  wind  and 
occasional  snow  stoim  would  have  been  mere  to  my  taste,  for 
the  one  would  have  braced  and  refreshed  tired  body  and  soul, 
the  other  have  purified  the  air,  and  spread  a  clean  coverlid 
over  the  bed,  wherein  the  capital  of  these  United  States 
appeared  to  be  dozing  pretty  scundly  just  then. 

One  of  these  tri,  s  was  to  the  Armory  Hospital,  the  neatness, 
comfort,  and  convenience  of  which  makes  it  an  honor  to  its 
presiding  genius,  and  arouses  all  the  covetous  propensities  of 
such  nurses  as  came  from  other  hospitals  to  visit  it. 

The  long,  clean,  warm,  and  airy  wards,  built  barrack-fashion, 
with  the  nyrse's  room  at  the  end,  were  fully  appreciated  by 
Nurse  Periwinkle,  whose  ward  and  private  bower  were  cold, 
dirty,  inconvenient,  up  stairs  and  down  stairs,  and  in  every- 
body's chamber.  At  the  Armory,  in  ward  K,  I  found  a 
cheery,  bright-eyeel,  white-aproned  little  lady,  reading  at  her 
post  near  the  stove  ;  matting  under  her  feet ;  a  draft  of  fresh 
air  flowing  in  above  her  head ;  a  table  full  of  trays,  glasses, 
and  such  matters,  on  one  side,  a  large,  well-stocked  medicine 
chest  on  the  other;  and  all  her  duty  seemed  to  be  going  about 
now  and  then  to  give  doses,  issue  orders,  which  well- trained 
attendants  executed,  and  pet,  advise,  or  comfort  Tom,  Dick, 
or  Harry,  as  she  found  best.  As  I  watched  the  proceedings, 
I  recalled  my  own  tribulations,  and  contrasted  the  two  hospitals 
in  a  Way  that  would  have  caused  my  summary  dismissal,  could 
it  bave  been  reported  at  headquarters.  Here,  order,  method, 
common  sense  and  liberality  reigned  and  ruled,  in  a  style 


72  HOSPITAL   SKETCHES. 

that  did  one's  heart  good  to  see ;  at  the  Hurly-burly  Hotel, 
disorder,  discomfort,  bad  management,  and  no  visible  head, 
reduced  things  to  a  condition  which  I  despair  of  describing. 
The  circumlocution  fashion  prevailed,  forms  and  fusses  tor 
mented  our  souls,  and  unnecessary  strictness  in  one  place  was 
counterbalanced  by  unpardonable  laxity  in  another.  Here  is 
a  sample  :  I  am  dressing  Sam  Dammer's  shoulder ;  and,  having 
cleansed  the  wound,  look  about  for  some  strips  of  adhesive 
plaster  to  hold  on  the  little  square  of  wet  linen  which  is  to 
cover  the  gunshot  wound ;  the  case  is  not  in  the  tray;  Frank, 
the  sleepy,  half-sick  attendant,  knows  nothing  of  it;  we 
rummage  high  aud  low;  Sam  is  tired,  and  fumes;  Frank 
dawdles  and  yawns  ;  the  men  advise  and  laugh  at  the  flurry ; 
I  feel  like  a  boiling  tea-kettle,  with  the  lid  ready  to  fly  off  and 
damage  somebody. 

"  Go  and  borrow  some  from  the  next  ward,  and  spend  the 
rest  of  the  day  in  finding  ours,"  I  finally  command.  A  pause; 
then  Frank  scurries  back  with  the  message  :  "  Miss  Peppercorn 
ain't  got  none,  and  says  you  ain't  no  business  to  lose  your  own 
duds  and  go  borrowin'  other  folkses."  I  say  nothing,  for  fear 
of  saying  too  much,  but  fly  to  the  surgery.  Mr.  Toddy  pestle 
informs  me  that  I  can't  have  anything  without  an  order  from 
the  surgeon  of  my  ward.  Great  heavens  !  where  is  he  ?  and 
away  I  rush,  up  and  down,  here  and  there,  till  at  last  I  find 
him,  in  a  state  of  bliss  over  a  complicated  amputation,  in  the 
fourth  story.  I  make  my  demand;  he  answers:  "In  five 
minutes,"  and  works  away,  with  his  head  upside  down,  as  he 
ties  an  artery,  saws  a  bone,  or  does  a  little  needle-work,  with 
a  visible  relish  and  very  sanguinaiy  pair  of  hands.  The  five 
minutes  grow  to  fifteen,  and  Frank  appears,  with  the  remark 
that,  "  Dammer  wants  to  know  what  in  thunder  you  are 
keeping  him  there  with  his  finger  on  a  wet  rag  for?"     Dr.  P. 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  ,  3 

tears  himself  away  long  enough  to  scribble  the  order,  with 
which  I  plunge  downward  to  the  surgery  again,  find  the  door 
locked,  and,  while  hammering  away  on  it,  am  told  that  two 
friends  are  waiting  to  see  mc  in  the  hall.  The  matron  being 
away,  her  parlor  is  locked,  and  there  is  no  where  to  see  mv 
gucc.l3  but  in  my  own  room,  and  no  time  to  enjoy  them  till 
the  plaster  is  found.  I  settle  this  matter,  and  circulate  through 
the  house  to  find  Toddypestle,  who  has  no  right  to  leave  the 
surgery  till  night.  He  is  discovered  in  the  dead  house,  smoking 
a  cigar,  and  very  much  the  worse  for  his  researches  among  the 
spirituous  preparations  that  fill  the  surgery  shelves.  He  is 
inclined  to  be  gallant,  and  puts  the  finishing  blow  to  the  fire 
of  my  wrath  ;  for  the  tea-kettle  lid  flics  off,  and  driving  him 
before  me  to  his  post,  I  fling  down  the  order,  take  what  I 
choose  ;  and,  leaving  the  absurd  incapable  kissing  his  hand  to 
me,  depart,  feeling  as  Grandma  Eiglesty  is  reported  to  have 
done,  when  she  vainly  sought  for  chips,  in  Bimleck  Jackwood's 
"  shiflcss  paster." 

I  find  Daramer  a  well  acted  charade  of  hk  own  name,  and, 
just  as  I  get  him  done,  struggling  the  while  with  a  burning 
desire  to  clap  an  adhesive  strip  across  his  mouth,  full  of 
heaven-defying  oaths,  Fiank  takes  up  his  boot  to  put  it  on, 
and  exclaims  : 

"  I'm  blest  cf  here  ain't  that  case  now  !     I  recollect  seeing 

o 

it  pitch  in  this  mornin',  but  forgot  all  about  it,  till  my  heel 
went  smash  inter  it.  Here,  ma'am,  ketch  hold  on  it,  and  give 
the  boys  a  sheet  on't  all  round,  'gainst  it  tumbles  inter  t'other 
boot  next  time  yer  want  it." 

If  a  look  could  annihilate,  Francis  Saucebox  would  have 
ceased  to  exist,  but  it  couldn't ;  therefore,  he  yet  lives,  to 
aggravate  some  unhappy  woman's  soul,  and  wax  fat  in  some 
equally  congenial  situation. 


74  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

Now,  while  I'm  freeing  my  mind,  I  should  l'.ke  to  enter  my 
protest  against  employing  convalescents  as  attendants,  instead 
of  strong,  properly  trained,  and  cheerful  men.  How  it  may 
be  in  other  places  I  cannot  say ;  but  here  it  was  a  source  cf 
constant  trouble  and  confusion,  these  feeble,  ignorant  men 
trying  to  sweep,  scrub,  lift,  and  wait  upon  their  sicker  comrades. 
One,  with  a  diseased  heart,  was  expected  to  run  up  and  down 
stairs,  carry  heavy  trays,  and  move  helpless  men  ;  he  tried  it, 
and  grew  rapidly  worse  than  when  he  first  came  :  and,  when 
he  was  ordered  out  to  march  away  to  the  convalescent  hospital, 
fell,  in  a  sort  of  fit,  before  he  turned  the  corner,  and  was 
brought  back  to  die.  Another,  hurt  by  a  fall  from  his  horse, 
endeavored  to  do  his  duty,  but  failed  entirely,  and  the  wrath 
of  the  ward  master  fell  upon  the  nurse,  who  must  either  scrub 
the  rooms  herself  or  take  the  lecture  ;  for  the  boy  looked  stout 
and  well,  and  the  master  never  happened  to  see. him  turn 
white  with  pain,  or  hear  him  groan  in  his  sleep  when  an  invol 
untary  motion  strained  his  poor  back.  Constant  complaints 
were  being  made  of  incompetent  attendants,  and  some  dozen 
women  d;d  double  duty,  and  then  were  blamed  for  breaking 
down.  If  any  hospital  director  fancies  this  «a  good  and 
economical  arrangement,  allow  one  used  up  nurse  to  tell  him 
it  isn't,  and  beg  him  to  spare  the  sisterhood,  who  sometimes, 
in  their  sympathy,  forget  that  they  are  mortal,  and  run  the 
risk  of  being  made  immortal,  sooner  than  is  agreeable  to  their 
partial  friends. 

Another  of  my  few  rambles  took  me  to  the  Senate  Chamber, 
hoping  to  hear .  and  see  if  this  large  machine  was  run  any 
better  than  some  small  ones  I  knew  of.  I  was  too  late,  and 
found  the  Speaker's  chair  occupied  by  a  colored  gentleman  of 
ten  ;  while  two  others  were  "on  their  legs,"  having  a  hot 
debate  on  the  cornball  question,  as  they  gathered  the  waste 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  75 

paper  strewn   about  the  floor  into  bags  j    and   several  white 
members  played  leap-frog  over  the  desks,  a  much  wholesomer 
relaxation  than  some  of  the  older  Senators  indulge  in,  I  fancy. 
Finding  the  coast  clear,  I  likewise  gambolled   up   and  down, 
from  gallery  to  gallery;  sat  in  Sumner's  chair,  and  cudgelled 
an  imaginary  Brooks   within   an   inch   of  his   life  j  examined 
Wilson's  books  in  the  coolest   possible  manner  ;  warmed  my 
feet  at  one  of  the  national  registers ;  read  people's  names  on 
scattered  envelopes,  and  pocketed   a  castaway  autograph  or 
two ;     watched    the    somewhat    unparliamentary    proceedings 
going  on  about   me,  and  wondered  who  in  the  world  all  the 
sedate  gentlemen  were,  who  kept   popping  out  of  odd   doors 
here  and  there,    like   respectable   Jaeksin-the-box.      Then  I 
wandered   over  the  "  palatial  residence  "  of  Mrs.    Columbia, 
and  examined  its  many  beauties,  though  I  can't  say  I  thought 
her  a  tidy  housekeeper,  and  didn't  admire  her  taste  in  pictures  , 
for  the  eye  of  this  humble  individual  soon  wearied  <>f  expiring 
patiiots,  who  all  appeared  to  be  quitting  their  earihly  taberna- 
cles in  convulsions,  ruffled  shirrs,  and  a  whirl  of  torn  banners, 
bomb  shells,  and  buff  and  blue   arms  and  legs.      The  statuary 
also   was    massive  and  concrete,  but  rather  wearying  to  exam- 
ine ;  for  the  colossal  ladies  and  gentlemen,  carried  no  cards  of 
introduction  in  face  or  figure  ;  so,  whether  the  meditative  party 
in  a  kilt,  with  well-developed  legs,  shoes   like  army  slippers, 
and  a  ponderous  nose,  was   Columbus,  Cato,  or  Cockelorum 
Tibby,  the   tragedian,  was  more   than   I  could   tell.     Seveial 
robust   ladies  attracted   me,  as  I  felt  particularly  "  wimbly  " 
myself,  as  old   country  women   sa\  ;  but  which  was  Ameiica 
and  which   Pocahontas  was  a  mystery,  for  all  affected  much 
looseness  of  costume,  dishevclment   of  hair,   swords,  arrows, 
lances,  scales,  and  other  ornaments  quite  passe  with  damsels 
of  our  day,  whose  effigies  should  go  down  to  posterity  armed 

F 


76  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

with  fans,  crochet  needles,  riding  whips,  and  parasols,  with 
here  and  there  one  holding  pen  or  pencil,  rolling-pin  or  broom. 
The  statue  of  Liberty  I  recognized  at  once,  for  it  had  no 
pedestal  as  yet,  but  stood  flat  in  the  mud,  with  Young  America 
most  symbolically  making  dirt  pies,  and  chip  forts,  in  its 
shadow.  But  high  above  the  squabbling  little  throng  and 
their  petty  plans,  the  sun  shone  full  on  Liberty's  broad 
forehead,  and,  in  her  hand,  some  summer  bird  had  built  its 
nest.  I  accepted  the  good  omen  then,  and,  on  the  first  of 
January,  the  Emancipation  Act  gave  the  statue  a  nobler  and 
more  enduring  pedestal  than  any  marble  or  granite  ever  carved 
and  quarried  by  human  hands. 

One  trip  to  Georgetown  Heights,  where  cedars  sighed  over- 
head, dead  leaves  rustled,  underfoot,  pleasant  paths  led  up  and 
down,  and  a  brook  wound  like  a  silver  snake  by  the  blackened 
ruins  of  some  French  3Iinister's  house,  through  the  poor 
gardens  of  the  black  washerwomen  who  congregated  there, 
and,  passing  the  cemetery  with  a  murmurous  lullaby,  rolled 
away  to  pay  its  little  tribute  to  the  river.  This  breezy  run 
was  the  last  I  took  ;  for,  on  the  morrow,  came  rain  and  wind  : 
and  confinement  soon  proved  a  powerful  reinforcement  to  the 
enemy,  who  was  quietly  preparing  to  spring  a  mine,  and  blow 
me  five  hundred  miles  from  the  position  I  had  taken  in  what  I 
called  my  Chickahom'ny  Swamp. 

Shut  up  in  my  room,  with  no  voice,  spirits,  or  books,  that 
week  was  not  a  hoiklay,  by  any  means.  Finding  meals  a 
humbug,  I  stopped  away  altogether,  trusting  that  if  this  sparrow 
was  of  any  worth,  the  Lord  would  not  let  it  fall  to  the  ground. 
Like  a  flock  of  friendly  ravens,  my  sister  nurses  fed  me,  not 
only  with  food  for  the  body,  but  kind  words  for  the  mind;, 
and  soon,  from  being  half  starved,  I  found  myself  so  beteaed 
and  bctoastcd,  petted  and  served,  that  I  was  quite  "  in  the  lap 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  77 

of  luxury,"  in  spite  of  cough,  headache,  a  painful  conscious- 
ness of  my  pleura,  and  a  realizing  sense  of  bones  in  the  human 
frame.  From  the  pleasant  house  on  the  bill,  the  home  in  the 
heart  of  Washington,  and  the  Willard  caravansary,  came 
friends  new  and  old,  with  bottles,  baskets,  carriages  antl  invita- 
tions for  the  invalid  ;  and  daily  our  Florence  Nightingale 
climbed  the  steep  stairs,  stealing  a  moment  from  her  busy  life, 
to  watch  over  the  stranger,  of  whom  she  was  as  thoughtfully 
tender  as  any  mother.  Long  may  she  wave  !  Whatever  others 
may  think  or  say,  Nurse  Periwinkle  is  forever  grateful ;  and 
among  her  relics  of  that  Washington  defeat,  none  is  more 
valued  than  the  little  book  which  appeared  on  her  pillow,  one 
dreary  day;  for  the  D  D.  written  in  it  means  to  her  far  more 
than  Doctor  of  Divinity. 

Being  forbidden  to  meddle  with  fleshly  arms  and  legs,  I 
solaced  myself  by  mending  cotton  ones,  and,  as  I  sat  sewing 
at  my  wiudow,  watched  the  moving  panorama  that  passed 
below  ;  amusing  myself  with  taking  notes  of  the  most  striking 
figures  in  it.  Long  trains  of  army  wagons  kept  up  a  perpetual 
rumble  from  morning  till  night  ;  ambulances  rattled  to  and  fio 
with  busy  surgeons,  nurses  taking  an  airing,  or  convalescents 
going  in  parties  to  be  fitted  to  artificial  limbs.  Strings  of  sorry 
looking  horses  passed,  saying  as  plainly  as  dumb  creatures 
could,  "Why,  in  a  city  full  of  them,  is  there  no  horseftital 
for  us ':"  Often  a  cart  came  by,  with  several  rough  coffins  in 
it,  and  no  mourners  following  ;  barouches,  with  invalid  officers, 
rolled  round  the  corner,  and  carriage  loads  of  pretty  children, 
with  black  coachmen,  footmen,  and  maids.  The  women  who 
took  their  walks  abroad,  were  so  extinguished  in  three  story 
bonnets,  with  overhanging  balconies  of  flowers,  that  their 
charms  were  obscured ;  and  all  I  can  say  of  them  is,  that  they 
dressed  in  the  worst  possible  taste,  and  wralked  like  ducks. 


78  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

The  men  did  the  picturesque,  and  did  it  so  well  that  Wash- 
ington looked  like  a  mammoth  masquerade.  Spanish  hats, 
scarlet  lined  riding  cloaks,  swords  and  sashes,  high  boots  and 
bright  spurs,  beards  and  mustaches,  which  made  plain  faces 
comely,  and  comely  faces  herric;  these  vanities  of  the  flesh 
transformed  our  butchers,  bakers,  and  candlestick  makers  into 
gallant  riders  of  gaily  caparisoaed  horses,  much  handsomer 
than  themselves  ;  and  dozens  of  such  figures  were  constantly  f 
prancing  by,  with  private  prickings  of  spurs,  for  the  benefit 
of  ike  perambulating  flower-bed.  Some  of  these  gentlemen 
affected  painfully  tight  uniforms,  and  little  caps,  kept  on  by 
some  new  law  of  gravitation,  as  they  covered  only  the  bridge 
of  the  nose,  yet  never  fell  off";  the  men  looked  like  stuffed 
fowls,  and  rode  as  if  the  safety  of  the  nation  depended  on 
their  speed  alone.  The  fattest,  greyest  officers  dressed  most, 
and  ambled  statelily  along,  with  orderlies  behind,  trying  to 
look  as  if  they  didn't  know  the  stout  party  in  front,  and  doing 
much  caracoling  on  their  own  account. 

The  mules  were  my  especial  delight ;  and  an  hour's  study 
of  a  constant  succession  of  them  introduced  me  to  many  of 
their  characteristics ;  for  six  of  these  odd  little  beasts  drew 
each  army  wagon,  and  went  hopping  like  frogs  through  the 
stream  of  mud  that  gently  rolled  along  the  street.  The 
coquettish  mule  had  small  feet,  a  nicely  trimmed  tassel  of  a 
tail,  perked  up  ears,  and  seemed  much  given  to  little  tosses  of 
the  head,  affected  skips  and  prances  ;  and,  if  he  wore  the 
bells,  or  were  bedizzened  with  a  bit  of  finery,  put  on  as  many 
airs  as  any  belle.  The  moral  mule  was  a  stout,  hard-working 
creature,  always  tugging  with  all  his  might;  often  pulling 
away  after  the  rest  had  stopped,  laboring  under  the  conscien- 
tious delusion  that  food  for  the  entire  army  depended  upon  his 
private  exertions.     I  respected  this  style  of  mule  ;  and,  had 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  79 

I  possessed  a  juicy  cabbage,  would  have  pressed  it  upon  him, 
With  thanks  for  his  excellent  example.  The  historical  mule^ 
was  a  rnelo-dramatic  quadruped,  prone  to  startling  humanity 
by  erratic  leaps,  and  wild  plunges,  much  shaking  of  his 
stubborn  head,  and  lashing  out  of  his  vicious  heels  ;  now  and 
then  falling  flat,  and  apparently  dying  a  la  Forrest :  a  gasp  — 
a  squirm  —  a  nop,  and  so  on,  till  the  street  was  well  blocked 
up,  the  drivers  all  swearing  like  demons  in  bad  hats,  and  the 
chief  actor's  circulation  decidedly  quickened  by  every  variety 
of  kick,  cuff,  jerk  and  haul.  When  the  last  breath  seemed  to 
have  left  his  body,  and  "Doctors  were  in  vain,"  a  sudden 
resurrection  took  place  ;  and  if  ever  a  mule  laughed  with 
scornful  triumph,  that  was  the  beast,  as  he  leisurely  rose,  gave 
a  comfortable  shake  ;  and,  calmly  regarding  the  excited  crowd 
seecmod  to  say  —  "  A  hit!  a  decided  hit  !  for  the  stupidest 
of  animals  has  bamboozled  a  dozen  men.  Now,  then  !  what 
arc  you  stopping  the  way  for?"  The  pathetic  mule  was, 
perhaps,  the  most  interesting  of  all ;  for,  though  he  always 
seemed  to  be  the  smallest,  thinnest,  weakest  of  the  six,  the 
postillion,  with  big  boots,  long-tailed  coat,  and  heavy  whip, 
was  sure  to  bestride  this  one,  who  struggled  feebly  along,  head 
down,  coat  muddy  and  rough,  eye  spiritless  and  sad,  his  very 
tail  a  mortified  stump,  and  the  whole  beast  a  picture  of  meek 
misery,  fit  to  touch  a  heart  of  stone.  The  jovial  mule  was  a 
roly  poly,  happy-go-lucky  little  piece  of  horse-flesh,  taking 
everything  easily,  from  cudgeling  to  caressing  ;  strolling  along 
with  a  roguish  twinkle  of  the  eye,  and,  if  the  thing  were 
possible,  would  have  had  his  hands  in  his  pockets,  and  whistled 
as  he  went.  If  there  ever  chanced  to  be  an  apple  core,  a 
stray  turnip,  or  wisp  of  hay,  in  the  gutter,  this  Mark  Tapley 
was  sure  to  find  it,  and  none  of  his  mates  seemed  to  begrudge 
him  his  bite.     I  suspeeted  this  fellow  was  the  peacemaker,. 


80  nOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

confidant  and  friend  of  all  the  others,  for  he  had  a  sort  cf 
"  Cbeer-up,-old-boy,-ril-pall-you-through  "  look,  which  was 
exceedingly  engaging. 

Pigs  also  possessed  attractions  for  me,  never  having  had 
an  opportunity  of  observing  their  graces  of  mind  and  manner, 
till  I  came  to  Washington,  whose  porcine  citizens  appeared  to 
enjoy  a  larger  liberty  than  many  of  its  human  ones.  Stout, 
sedate  looking  pigs,  hurried  by  each  morning  to  their  places 
of  business,  with  a  preoccupied  air,  and  sonorous  greeting  to 
their  friends.  Genteel  pigs,  with  an  extra  curl  to  their  tails, 
promenaded  in  pairs,  lunching  here  and  there,  like  gentlemen 
of  leisure.  Rowdy  pigs  pushed  the  passers  by  off  the  side 
walk;  tipsy  pigs  hiccoughed  their  version  of  "We  wont  go 
home  till  morning,"  from  the  gutter  ;  and  delicate  young  pigs 
tripped  daintily  through  the  mud,  as  if,  like  "  Mrs.  Pcery- 
bingle,"  they  plumed  themselves  upon  their  ankles,  and  kept 
themselves  particularly  neat  in  point  of  stockings.  Maternal 
pigs,  with  their  interesting  families,  strolled  by  in  the  sun ; 
and  often  the  pink,  baby-like  squealers  lay  down  for  a  nap, 
with  a  trust  in  Providence  worthy  of  human  imitation. 

But  more  interesting  than  officers,  ladies,  mules,  or  pigs, 
were  my  colored  brothers  and  sisters,  because  so  unlike  the 
respectable  members  of  society  I'd  known  in  moral  Boston. 

Here  was  the  genuine  article — no,  not  the  genuine  article 
at'all,  we  must  go  to  Africa  for  that  —  but  the  sort  of  creatures 
generations  of  slavery  have  made  them  :  obsequious,  trickish, 
lazy  and  ignorant,  yet  kind-hearted,  merry-tempered,  quick  to 
feel  and  accept  the  least  token  of  the  brotherly  love  which  is 
slowly  teaching  the  white  hand  to  grasp  the  black,  in  this 
great  struggle  for  the  liberty  of  both  the  races. 

Having  been  warned  not  to  be  too  rampant  on  the  subject 
of  slavery,   as   secern    principles  flourished  even    under  the 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  81 

respectable  nose  of  Father  Abraham,  I  had  endeavored  to 
walk  discreetly,  and  curb  my  unruly  member  ;  looking  about 
me  with  all  my  eyes,  the  while,  and  saving  up  the  result  of 
my  observations  for  future  use.  I  had  not  been  there  a  week, 
before  the  neglected,  devil-may  care  expression  in  many  of 
the  faces  about  me,  seemed  an  urgent  appeal  to  leave  nursing 
white  bodies,  and  take  some  care  for  these  black  souls.  Much 
as  the  lazy  boys  and  saucy  girls  tormented  me,  I  liked  them, 
and  found  that  any  show  of  interest  or  friendliness  brought 
out  the  better  traits  which  live  in  the  most  degraded  and 
forsaken  of  us  all.  I  liked  their  cheerfulness,  for  the  dreariest 
old  hag,  who  scrubbed  all  day  in  that  pestilential  steam, 
gossipped  and  grinned  all  the  way  out,  when  night  set  her  free 
from  drudgery.  The  girls  romped  with  their  dusky  sweet- 
hearts, or  tossed  their  babies,  with  the  tender  pride  that  makes 
mother-love  a  beautifier  to  the  homeliest  face.  The  men  and 
boys  sang  and  whistled  all  day  long ;  and  often,  as  I  held  my 
watch,  the  silence  of  the  night  was  sweetly  broken  by  some 
chorus  from  the  street,  full  of  real  melody,  whether  the  song 
was  of  heaven,  or  of  hoe-cakes  ;  and,  as  I  listened,  I  felt  that 
we  never  should  doubt  nor  despair  concerning  a  race  which, 
through  such  griefs  and  wrongs,  still  clings  to  this  good  gift, 
and  seems  to  solace  with  it  the  patient  hearts  that  wait  and 
watch  and  hope  until  the  end. 

I  expected  to  have  to.  defend  myself  from  accusations  of  a 
prejudice  against  color ;  but  was  surprised  to  find  things  just 
the  other  way,  and  daily  shocked  some  neighbor  by  treating 
the  blacks  as  I  did  the  whites.  The  men  would  swear  at  the 
"  dartres,"  would  put  two  c/s  into  negro,  and  scoff  at  the  idea 
of  any  good  coming  from  such  trash.  The  nurses  were  willing 
to  be  served  by  the  colored  people,  but  seldom  thanked  them, 
never  praised,  and   scarcely  recognized  them  in   the  street: 


82  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

whereat  the  "blood  of  two  generations  of  abolitionists  waxed 
hot  in  my  veins,  and.  at  the  first  opportunity,  proclaimed  itself, 
and  asserted  the  right  of  free  speech  as  doggedly  as  the  irre- 
pressible Folsom  herself. 

Happening  to  catch  up  a  funny  little  black  baby,  who  was 
toddling  about  the  nurses'  kitchen,  one  day,  when  I  went 
down  to  make  a  mess  for  some  of  my  men,  a  Virginia  woman 
standing  by  elevated  her  most  prominent  features,  with  a  sniff 
of  disapprobation,  exclaiming': 

4i  Gracious,  Miss  P.  !  how  can  you?  I've  been  here  six 
months,  and  never  so  much  as  touched  the  little  toad  with  a 
poker." 

"  More  shame  for  you,  ma'am,"  responded  Miss  P.  ;  and, 
with  the  natural  perversity  of  a  Yankee,  followed  up  the  blow 
by  kissing  "  the  toad,"  with  ardor.  His  face  was  providen. 
tially  as  clean  and  shiny  as  if  his  mamma  had  just  polished  it 
up  with  a  corner  of  her  apron  and  a  drop  from  the  tea-kettle 
spout,  like  old  Aunt  Chloe.  This  rash  act,  and  the  anti- 
slavery  lecture  that  followed,  while  one  band  stirred  gruel  for 
sick  America,  and  the  other  hugged  baby  Africa,  did  not 
produce  the  cheering  result  which  I  fondly  expected ;  for  my 
comrade  henceforth  regarded  me  as  a  dangerous  fanatic,. and 
my  protege  nearly  came  to  his  death  by  insisting  on  swarming 
up  stairs  to  my  room,  on  all  occasions,  and  being  walked  on 
like  a  little  black  spider. 

I  waited  for  New  Year's  day  with  more  eagerness  than  I 
had  ever  known  before  ;  and,  though  it  brought  me  no  gift,  I 
felt  rich  in  the  act  of  justice  so  tardily  performed  toward  some 
of  those  about  me.  As  the  bells  rung  midnight,  I  electrified 
my  room-mate  by  dancing  out  of  bed,  throwing  up  the 
window,  and  flapping  my  handkerchief,  with  a  feeble  cheer, 
in  answer  to  the  shout  of  a  group  of  colored  man  in  the  street 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  83 

below.  All  night  they  tooted  and  tramped,  fired  crackers, 
sung  "  Glory,  ^Hallelujah,"  and  took  comfort,  poor  souls  !  in 
their  own  way.  The  sky  was  clear,  the  moon  shone  benignly, 
a  mild  wind  blew  across  the  river,  and  all  good  omens  seemed 
to  usher  in  the  dawn  of  the  day  whose  noontide  cannot  now 
be  long  in  coming.  If  the  colored  people  had  taken  hands 
and  danced  around  the  White  House,  with  a  few  cheers  for 
the  much  abused  gentleman  who  has  immortalized  himself  by 
one  just  act,  no  President  could  have  had  a  finer  levee,  or  one 
to  be  prouder  of. 

While  these  sights  and  sounds  were  going  on  without, 
curious  scenes  were  passing  within,  and  I  was  learning  that 
one  of  the  best  methods  of  fitting  oneself  to  be  a  nurse  in  a 
hospital,  is  to  be  a  patient  there  ;  for  then  only  can  one  wholly 
realize  what  the  men  suffer  and  sigh  for;  how  acts  of  kindness 
touch  and  win ;  how  much  or  little  we  arc  to  those  about  us; 
and  for  the  first  time  really  see  that  in  coming  there  we  have 
taken  our  lives  in  our  hands,  and  may  have  to  pay  dearly  for 
a  brief  experience.  Every  one  was  very  kind  ;  the  attendants 
of  my  ward  often  came  up  to  report  progress  to  fill  my 
box,  or  bring  messages  and  presents  from  my  boys.  The 
nurses  took  many  steps  with  those  tired  feet  of  theirs,  and 
several  came  each  evening,  to  chat  over  my  fire  and  make 
things  cosy  for  the  night.  The  doctors  paid  daily  visits, 
tapped  at  my  lungs  to  see  if  pneumonia  was  within,  left  doses 
without  names,  and  went  away,  leaving  me  as  ignorant,  and 
much  more  uncomfortable  than  when  they  came.  Hours 
began  to  get  confused  ;  people  looked  odd  ;  queer  faces  haunted 
the  room,  and  the  nights  were  one  long  fight  with  weariness 
and  pain.  Letters  from  home  grew  anxious;  the  doctors 
lifted  their  eyebrows,  and  nodded  ominously  ;  friends  said 
"  Don't  stay,'1  and  an  internal  rebellion  seconded  the  advice  ; 


84  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

but  the  three  months  were  not  out,  and  the  idea  of  giving 
up  so  soon  was  proclaiming  a  defeat  before  I  was  fairly  routed  ; 
so  to  all  "  Don't  stays"  I  opposed  "  I  wills,"  till,  one  line 
morning,  a  grey-headed  gentlemen  rose  like  a  welcome  ghost 
on  my  hearth  ;  and,  at  the  sight  of  him,  my  resolution  melted 
away,  my  heart  turned  traitor  to  my  boys,  and,  when  he  said, 
"  Come  home,"  I  answered,  "Yes,  father;"  and  so  ended 
my  career  as  an  army  nurse. 

I  never  shall  regret  the  going,  though  a  sharp  tussle  with 
typhoid,  ten  dollars,  and  a  wig,  are  all  the  visible  results  of 
the  experiment ;  for  one  may  live  and  learn  much  in  a  month. 
A  o-ood  fit  of  illness  proves  the  value  of  health  ;  real  danger 
tries  one's  mettle  ;  and  self-sacrifice  sweetens  character.  Let 
no  one  who  sincerely  desires  to  help  the  work  on  in  this  way, 
delay  going  through  any  fear ;  for  the  worth  of  life  lies  in  the 
experiences  that  fill  it,  and  this  is  one  which  cannot  be  forgotten. 
All  that  is  best  and  bravest  in  the  hearts  of  men  and  women, 
comes  out  in  scenes  like  these  ;  and,  though  a  hospital  is  a 
rough  school,  its  lessons  are  both  stern  and  salutary ;  and  the 
humblest  of  pupils  there,  in  proportion  to  his  faithfulness, 
learns  a  deeper  faith  in  God  and  in  himself.  I,  for  one, 
would  return  tomorrow,  on  the  "up-again,-and-take-another  " 
principle,  if  I  could ;  for  the  amount  of  pleasure  and  profit  I 
got  out  of  that  month  compensates  for  all  after  pangs ;  and, 
though  a  sadly  womanish  feeling,  I  take  some  satisfaction  in 
the  thought  that,  if  I  could  not  lay  my  head  on  the  altar  of 
my  country,  I  have  my  hair ;  and  that  is  more  than  handsome 
Helen  did  for  her  dead  husband,  when  she  sacrificed  only  the 
ends  of  her  ringlets  on  his  urn.  Therefore,  I  close  this  little 
chapter  of  hospital  experiences,  with  the  regret  that  they  were 
no  better  worth  recording;  and  add  tbe  poetical  gem  with 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES  85 

which  I  console  myself  for  the  untimely  demise  of  "  Nurse 
Periwinkle :" 

Oh,  lay  her  in  a  little  pit, 
With  a  marble  stone  to  cover  it; 
"And  carve  thereon  a  gruel  spoon, 
To  show  a  "  nuss  "  has  died  too  soon. 


86  HOSPITAL   SKETCHES. 


CHAPTER   VI. 

A   POSTSCRIPT. 

My  Dear  S. :  —  As  inquiries  like  your  own  Lave  come  to 
me  from  various  friendly  readers  of  the  Sketches,  I  will 
answer  them  en  masse,  and  in  printed  form,  as  a  sort  of 
postscript  to  what  has  gone  before.  One  of  these  questions 
was,  "  Are  there  no  services  by  hospital  death-beds,  or  on 
Sundays  ?" 

In  most  Hospitals  I  hope  there  are  ;  in  ours,  the  men  died, 
and  were  earned  away,  with  as  little  ceremony  as  on  a  battle- 
field. The  first  event  of  this  kind  which  I  witnessed  was  so 
very  brief,  and  bare  of  anything  like  reverence,  sorrow,  or 
pious  consolation,  that  I  heartily  agreed  with  the  bluntly 
expressed  opinion  of  a  Maine  man  lying  next  his  comrade, 
who  died  with  no  visible  help  near  him,  but  a  compassionate 
woman  and  a  tender-hearted  Irishman,  who  dropped  upon  his 
knees,  and  told  his  beads,  with  Catholic  feivor,  for  the  good 
of  his  Protestant  brother's  parting  soul  : 

"If,  after  gettin1  all  the  hard  knocks,  we  are  left  to  die 


HOSriTAL    SKETCHES.  87 

this  way,  with  nothing  but  a  Paddy's  prayers  to  help  us,  I 
guess  Christians  are  rather  scarce  round  Washington." 

I  thought  so  too  ;  but  though  Miss  Blank,  one  of  my 
mates,  anxious  that  souls  should  be  ministered  to,  as  well  as 
bodies,  spoke  more  than  once  to  the  Chaplain,  nothing  ever 
came  of  it.  Unlike  another  Shepherd,  whose  earnest  piety 
weekly  purified  the  Senate  Chamber,  this  man  did  not  feed  as 
well  as  fold  his  flock,  nor  make  himself  a  human  symbol  of  the 
Divine  Samaritan,  who  never  passes  by  on  the  other  side. 

I  have  since  learned  that  our  non-commital  Chaplain  had 
been  a  Professor,  in  some  Southern  College  ;  and,  though  he 
maintained  that  he  had  no  secesh  proclivities,  I  can  testify 
that  he  seceded  from  his  ministerial  duties,  I  may  say,  ske- 
daddled ;  for,  being  one  of  his  own  words,  it  is  as  appropriate 
as  inelegant.  He  read  Emerson,  opiotcd  Carlyle,  and  tried  to 
be  a  Chaplain  ;  but,  judging  from  his  success,  I  am  afraid  he 
still  hankered  after  the  hominy  pots  of  Rebeldom. 

Occasionally,  on  a  Sunday  afternoon,  such  of  the  nurses, 
officers,  attendants,  and  patients  as  could  avail  themscl 
it,  were  gathered  in  the  Ball  Boom,  for  an  hour's  sen 
which  the  singing  was  the  better  part.  To  me  it  seemed  that 
if  ever  strong,  wise,  and  loving  words  were  needed,  it  was 
then  ;  if  ever  mortal  man  had  living  texts  before  his  eyes  to 
illustrate  and  illuminate  his  thought,  it  was  there  ;  and  if  ever 
hearts  were  prompted  to  devoutest  self-abnegation,  it  was  in 
the  work  which  brought  us  to  anything  but  a  Chapel  of  Ease. 
But  some  spiritual  paralysis  seemed  to  have  befallen  our 
pastor  ;  for,  though  many  faces  turned  toward  him,  fall  of  the 
dumb  hunger  that  often  comes  to  men  when  Buffering  or  danger 
brings  them  nearer  to  the  heart  of  tilings,  they  were  offered 
the  chaff  of  divinity,  and  its  wheat  was  left  for  less  needy 
gleaners,  who  knew  where  to  look.     Even  the  fine   old  Bible 


88  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

stories,  which  may  be  made  as  lifelike  as  any  history  of  our 
day,  by  a  vivid  fancy  and  pictorial  diction,  were  robbed  of  all 
their  charms  by  dry  explanations  and  literal  applications, 
instead  of  being  useful  and  pleasant  lessons  to  those  men, 
whom  weakness  had  rendered  as  docile  as  children  in  a  father's 
hands. 

I  watched  the  listless  countenances  all  about  me,  while  a 
mild  Daniel  was  moralizing  in  a  den  of  utterly  uninteresting' 
lions  ;  while  Shadrach,  Meshech,  and  Abeduego  were  leisurely 
passing  through  the  fiery  furnace,  where,  I  sadly  feared,  some 
of  us  sincerely  wished  they  had  remained  as  permanencies; 
while  the  Temple  of  Solomon  was  laboriously  erected,  with 
minute  descriptions  of  the  process,  and  any  quantity  of  bells 
and  pomegranates  on  the  raiment  of  the  priests.  Listless  they 
were  at  the  beginning,  and  listless  at  the  end  ;  but  the  instant 
some  stirring  old  hymn  was  given  out,  sleepy  eyes  brightened, 
lounging  figures  sat  erect,  and  many  a  poor  lad  rose  up  in  his 
bed,  or  stretched  an  eager  hand  for  the  book,  while  all  broke 
out  with  a  heartiness  that  proved  that  somewhere  at  the  core 
of  even  the  most  abandoned,  there  still  glowed  some  remnant 
of  the  native  piety  that  flows  in  music  from  the  heart  of  every 
little  child.  Even  the  big  rebel  joined,  and  boomed  away  in 
a  thunderous  bass,  singing  — 

"  Salvation !  let  the  echoes  fly," 

as  energetically  as  if  he  felt  the  need  of  a  speedy  execution 
of  the  command. 

That  was  the  pleasantest  moment  of  the  hour,  for  then  it 
seemed  a  homelike  and  happy  spot ;  the  groups  of  men  looking 
over  one  another's  shoulders  as  they  sang ;  the  few  silent 
figures  in  the  beds ;  here  and  there  a  woman  noiselessly  per- 
forming some   necessary  duty,  and  singing  as  she  worked; 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  S(J 

while  in  tbe  arm  chair  standing  in  the  midst,  I  placed,  for  my 
own  satisfaction,  the  imaginary  likeness  of  a  certain  faithful 
pastor,  who  took  all  outcasts  by  the  hand,  smote  the  devil  in 
whatever  guise  he  came,  and  comforted  the  indigent  in  spirit 
with  the  best  wisdom  of  a  great  and  tender  heart,  which  still 
speaks  to  us  from  its  Italian  grave.  With  that  addition,  my 
picture  was  complete  ;  and  I  often  longed  to  take  a  veritable 
sketch  of  a  Hospital  Sunday,  for,  despite  its  drawbacks, 
consisting  of  continued  labor,  the  want  of  proper  books,  the 
barren  preaching  that  bore  no  fruit,  this  day  was  never  like 
the  other  six. 

True  to  their  home  training,  our  New  England  boys  d:d 
their  best  to  make  it  what  it  should  be.  With  many,  there 
was  much  reading  of  Testaments,  humming  over  of  favorite 
hymns,  and  looking  at  such  books  as  I  could  cull  from  a 
miscellaneous  library.  Some  lay  idle,  slept,  or  gossi]  ed  :  v<  t, 
when  I  came  to  them  for  a  quiet  evening  chat,  tliev  often 
talked  freely  and  well  of  themselves  ;  would  bluoderout  some 
timid  hope  that  their  troubles  might  "  do  'em  good,  and  keep 
'em  stiddy  ;"  would  choke  a  little,  as  they  said  good  night, 
and  turned  their  faces  to  the  wall  to  think  of  mother,  wife,  or 
home,  these  human  ties  seeming  to  be  the  most  vital  religion 
which  they  yet  knew.  I  observed  that  some  <«f  them  did  not 
wear  their  caps  on  this  day,  though  at  other  times  they  clung 
to  them  like  Quakers;  wearing  them  in  bed,  putting  them  on 
to  read  the  paper,  eat  an  apple,  or  write  a  letter,  as  if,  like  a 
new  sort  of  Samson,  their  strength  lay,  net  in  their  hair,  but  in 
their  hats.  Many  read  no  novels,  swore  less,  were  more  rilent, 
orderly,  and  cheerful,  as  if  the  Lord  were  an  invisible  Ward- 
master,  who  went  his  rounds  but  once  a  week,  and  must  find 
all  things  at  their  best.  I  liked  all  this  in  the  poor,  rough 
boys,  and  could  have  found  it  in  my  heart  to  put  down  sponge 


£0 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES 


and  tea-pot,  and  preach  a  little  sermon  then  and  there,  while 
homesickness  and  pain  had  made  these  natures  soft,  that  some 
good  seed  might  be  cast  therein,  to  blossom  and  bear  fruit 
here  or  hereafter. 

Regarding  the  admission  of  friends  to  nurse  their  sick,  I 
can  only  say,  it  was  not  allowed  at  Hurlyburly  House  j  though 
one  indomitable  parent  took  my  ward  by  storm,  and  held  her 
position,  in  spite  of  doctors,  matron,  and  Nurse  Periwinkle. 
Though  it  was  against  the  rules,  though  the  culprit  was  an 
acid,  frost-bitten  female,  though  the  young  man  would  have 
done  quite  as  well  without  her  anxious  fussiness,  and  the  whole 
room-full  been  much  more  comfortable,  there  was  something  so 
irresistible  in  this  persistent  devotion,  that  no  one  had  the 
heart  to  oust  her  from  her  post.  She  slept  on  the  floor,  without 
uttering  a  complaint ;  bore  jokes  somewhat  of  the  rudost ; 
fared  scantily,  though  her  basket  was  daily  filled  with  luxuries 
for  her  boy ;  and  tended  that  petulant  personage  with  a  never- 
failing  patience  beautiful  to  see. 

I  feel  a  glow  of  moral  rectitude  in  saying  this  of  her ;  for, 
though  a  perfect  pelican  to  her  young,  she  pecked  and  cackled 
( I  don't  know  that  pelicans  usually  express  their  emotions  in 
that  manner,)  most  obstreperously,  when  others  invaded  her 
premises  ;  and  led  me  a  weary  life,  with  "  George's  tea- rusks," 
"George's  foot-bath,"  "George's  measles,"  and  "George's 
mother  ;"  till,  after  a  sharp  passage  of  arms  and  tongues  with 
the  matron,  she  wrathfully  packed  up  her  rusks,  her  son,  and 
herself,  and  departed,  in  an  ambulance,  scolding  to  the  very 
last. 

This  is  the  comic  side  of  the  matter.  The  serious  one  is 
harder  to  describe  ;  for  the  presence,  however  brief,  of  rela- 
tions and  friends  by  the  bedsides  of  the  dead  or  dying,  is 
always  a  trial  to  the  bystanders.     They  are  not  near  enough 


HOSPITAL   SKETCHES.  91 

to  know  how  best  to  comfort,  yet  too  near  to  turn  their  backs 
upon  the  sorrow  that  finds  its  only  solace  in  listening  to 
recitals  of  last  words,  breathed  into  nurse's  ears,  or  receiving 
the  tender  legacies  of  love  and  longing  bequeathed  through 
them. 

To  me,  the  saddest  sight  I  saw  in  that  sad  place,  was  the 
spectacle  of  a  grey-haired  father,  sitting  hour  after  hour  by 
his  son,  dying  from  the  poison  of  his  wound.  The  old  father, 
hale  and  hearty  ;  the  young  son,  past  all  help,  though  one 
could  scarcely  believe  it  ;  for  the  subtle  fever,  burning  his 
strength  away,  flushed  his  cheeks  with  color,  filled  his  eyes 
with  lustre,  and  lent  a  mournful  mockery  of  health  to  face  and 
figure,  making  the  poor  lad  comelicr  in  death  than  in  life. 
His  bed  was  not  in  my  ward  ;  but  I  was  often  in  and  out, 
and,  for  a  day  or  two,  the  pair  were  much  together,  saying 
little,  but  looking  much.  The  old  man  tried  to  busy  himself 
with  book  or  pen,  that  his  presence  might  not  be  a  burden  • 
and  once,  when  he  sat  writing,  to  the  anxious  mother  at  home, 
doubtless,  I  saw  the  son's  eyes  fixed  upon  his  face,  with  a  look 
of  mingled  resignation  and  regret,  as  if  endeavoring  to  teach 
himself  to  say  cheerfully  the  long  good  bye.  And  again, 
when  the  son  slept,  the  father  watched  him,  as  he  had  himself 
been  watched  ;  and  though  no  feature  of  his  grave  counte- 
nance changed,  the  rough  hand,  smoothing  the  lock  of  hair 
upon  the  pillow,  the  bowed  attitude  of  the  grey  head,  were 
more  pathetic  than  the  loudest  lamentations.  The  son  died  ; 
and  the  father  took  home  the  pale  relic  of  the  life  he  gave, 
offering  a  little  money  to  the  nurse,  as  the  only  visible  return 
it  was  in  his  power  to  make  her ;  for,  though  very  grateful, 
he  was  poor.  Of  course,  she  did  not  take  it,  but  found  a 
richer  compensation  in  the  old  man's  earnest  declara- 
tion : 

G 


92  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

"My  boy  couldn't  have  been  better  eared  for  if  he'd  been  at 
home  ;  and  God  will  reward  you  for  it,  though  I  can't." 

My  own  experiences  of  this  sort  began  when  my  first  man 
died.  He  had  scarcely  been  removed,  wben  his  wife  came  in. 
Her  eye  went  straight  to  the  well-known  bed  ;  it  was  empty ; 
and  feeling,  yet  not  believing  the  hard  truth,  she  cried  out, 
with  a  look  I  never  shall  forget : 

"  Why,  where's  Emanuel?" 

I  had  never  seen  her  before,  did  not  know  her  relationship 
to  the  man  whom  I  had  only  nursed  for  a  clay,  and  was  about 
to  tell  her  he  was  gone,  when  McGee,  the  tender-hearted 
Irishman  before  mentioned,  brushed  by  me  with  a  cheerful  — 
"It's  shifted  to  a  better  bed  he  is,  Mrs.  Connel.  Come  out, 
dear,  till  I  show  ye;"  and,  taking  her  gently  by  the  arm,  he 
led  her  to  the  matron,  who  broke  the  heavy  tidings  to  the 
wife,  and  comforted  the  widow. 

Another  day,  running  up  to  my  room  for  a  breath  of  fresh 
air  and  a  five  minutes'  rest  after  a  disagreeable  task.  I  found 
a  stout  young  woman  sitting  on  my  bed,  wearing  the  misera- 
ble look  which  I  had  learned  to  know  by  that  time.  Seeing 
her,  reminded  me  that  I  had  heard  of  some  one's  dying  in  the 
night,  and  his  sister's  arriving  in  the  morning.  This  must  be 
she,  I  thought.  I  pitied  her  with  all  my  heart.  What  could 
I  say  or  do  ?  Words  always  seem  impertinent  at  such  times  ; 
I  did  not  know  the  man  ;  the  woman  was  neither  interesting 
in  herself  nor  graceful  in  her  grief;  yet,  having  known  a 
sister's  sorrow  myself,  I  could  not  leave  her  alone  with  her 
trouble  in  that  strange  place,  without  a  word.  So,  feeling 
heart-sick,  home-sick,  and  not  knowing  what  else  to  do,  I  just 
put  my  arms  about  her,  and  began  to  cry  in  a  very  helpless 
but  hearty  way  ;  for,  as  I  seldom  indulge  in  this  moist  luxury, 
I  like  to  enjoy  it  with  all  my  might,  when  I  do. 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  Q3 

It  so  happened  I  could  not  have  done  a  better  thing;  for, 
though  not  a  word  was  spoken,  each  felt  the  other's  (sympathy; 
and,  in  the  silence,  our  handkerchiefs  were  more  eloquent 
than  words.  She  soon  sobbed  herself  quiet ;  and,  leaving  her 
on  my  bed,  I  went  back  to  work,  feeling  much  refreshed  by 
the  shower,  though  I'd  forgotten  to  rest,  and  had  washed  my 
face  instead  of  my  hands.  I  mention  this  successful  experi- 
ment as  a  receipt  proved  and  approved,  for  the  use  of  any 
nurse  who  may  find  herself  called  upon  to  minister  to  these 
wounds  of  the  heart.  They  will  find  it  more  efficacious  than 
cups  of  tea,  smelling-bottles,  psalms,  or  sermons;  for  a  friendly 
touch  and  a  companionable  cry,  unite  the  consolations  of  all 
the  rest  for  womankind ;  and,  if  genuine,  will  be  found  a 
sovereign  cure  for  the  first  sharp  pang  so  many  suffer  in  these 
heavy  times. 

I  am  gratified  to  find  that  my  little  Sergeant  has  found 
favor  in  several  quarters,  and  gladly  respond  to  sundry  calls 
for  news  of  him,  though  my  personal  knowledge  ended  five 
months  ago.  Next  to  my  good  John  — I  hope  the  grass  is 
green  above  him,  far  away  there  in  Virginia!— I  placed  the 
Sergeant  on  my  list  of  worthy  boys;  and  many  a  jovial  chat 
have  I  enjoyed  with- the  merry-hearted  lad,  who  had  a  fancy 
for  fun,  when  his  poor  arm  was  dressed.  While  Dr.  P.  poked 
and  strapped,  I  brushed  the  remains  of  the  Sergeant's  brown 
mane  —  shorn  sorely  against  his  will  — and  gossiped  with  all 
my  might,  the  boy  making  odd  faces,  exclamations,  and' 
appeals,  when  nerves  got  the  better  of  nonsense,  as  they 
sometimes  did  : 

"  I'd  rather  laugh  than  cry,  when  I  must  sing  out  anyhow, 
so  just  say  that  bit  from  Dickens  again,  please,  and  I'll  stand 
it  hke  a  man."  He  did;  for  "  Mrs.  Cluppins,"  "Chad- 
band,"  and   "Sam   Weller,"   always  helped   him  through- 


94  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

thereby  causing  me  to  lay  another  offering  of  love  and  admi- 
ration on  the  shrine  of  the  god  of  my  idolatry,  though  he  does 
wear  too  much  jewelry  and  talk  slang. 

The  Sergeant  also  originated,  I  believe,  the  fashion  of  calling 
his  neighbors  by  their  afflictions  instead  of  their  names  ;  and  I 
was  rather  taken  aback  by  hearing  them  bandy  remarks  of 
this  sort,  with  perfect  good  humor  and  much  enjoyment  of  the 
new  game, 

"  Hallo,  old  Pits  is  off  again  !"  "  How  are  you,  Bheuma- 
tiz?"  "Will  you  trade  apples,  Ribs?"  "  I  say,  Miss  P., 
may  I  give  Typus  a  drink  of  this  ?"  "  Look  here,  No  Toes, 
lend  us  a  stamp,  there's  a  good  feller,"  etc.  He  himself  was 
christened  "  Baby  B.,"  because  he  tended  his  arm  on  a  little 
pillow,  and  called  it  his  infant. 

Very  fussy  about  his  grub  was  Sergeant  B.,  and  much 
trotting  of  attendants  was  necessary  when  he  partook  of  nour- 
ishment. Anything  more  irresistably  wheedlesome  I  never 
saw,  and  constantly  found  myself  indulging  him,  like  the  most 
weak-minded  parent,  merely  for  the  pleasure  of  seeing  his 
brown  eyes  twinkle,  his  merry  mouth  break  into  a  smile,  and 
his  one  hand  execute  a  jaunty  little  salute  that  was  entirely 
captivating.  I  am  afraid  that  Nurse  P.  damaged  her  dignity, 
frolicking  with  this  persuasive  young  gentleman,  though  done 
for  his  well-being.  But  "  boys  will  be  boys,"  is  perfectly 
applicable  to  the  case ;  for,  in  spite  of  years,  sex,  and  the 
"  prunes-and-prisms  "  doctrine  laid  down  for  our  use,  I  have 
a  fellow  feeling  for  lads,  and  always  owed  Fate  a  grudge 
because  I  wasn't  a  lord  of  creation  instead  of  a  lady. 

Since  I  left,  I  have  heard,  from  a  reliable  source,  that  my 
Sergeant  has  gone  home  ;  therefore,  the  small  romance  that 
budded  the  first  day  I  saw  him,  has  blossomed  into  its  second 
chapter  ;  and  I  now  imagine  "  dearest  Jane  "  filling  my  place, 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  95 

tending  the  wounds  I  tended,  "brushing  the  curly  jungle  I 
brushed,  loving  the  excellent  little  youth  I  loved,  and  eventu- 
ally walking  altarward,  with  the  Sergeant  stumping  gallantly 
at  her  side.  If  she  doesn't  do  all  this,  and  no  end  more,  I'll 
never  forgive  her ;  and  sincerely  pray  to  the  guardian  saint 
of  lovers,  that  "  Baby  B."  may  prosper  in  his  wooing,  and 
his  name  be  long  in  the  land. 

One  of  the  lively  episodes  of  hospital  life,  is  the  frequent 
marching  away  of  such  as  are  well  enough  to  rejoin  their 
regimeuts,  or  betake  themselves  to  some  convalescent  camp. 
The  ward  master  comes  to  the  door  of  each  room  that  is  to  be 
thinned,  reads  off  a  list  of  names,  bids  their  owners  look 
sharp  and  be  ready  when  called  for;  and,  as  he  vanishes,  the 
rooms  fall  into  an  indescribable  state  of  topsy-turvyness,  as 
the  boys  begin  to  black  their  boots,  brighten  spurs,  if  they 
have  them,  overhaul  knapsacks,  make  presents  ;  are  fitted  out 
with  needfuls,  and  —  well,  why  not  ?  —  kissed  sometimes,  as 
they  say,  good  by ;  for  in  all  human  probability  we  shall 
never  meet  again,  and  a  woman's  heart  yearns  over  anything 
that  has  clung  to  her  for  help  and  comfort.  I  never  liked 
these  breakings-up  of  my  little  household ;  though  my  short 
stay  showed  me  but  three.  I  was  immensely  gratified  by  the 
hand  shakes  I  got,  for  their  somewhat  painful  cordiality  assured 
me  that  I  had  not  tried  in  vain.  The  big  Prussian  rumbled 
out  his  unintelligible  adieux,  with  a  grateful  face  and  a 
premonitory  smooth  of  his  yellow  moustache,  but  got  no 
farther,  for  some  ene  else  stepped  up,  with  a  large  brown  hand 
extended,  and  this  recommendation  of  our  very  faulty  estab- 
lishment : 

"  We're  off,  ma'am,  and  I'm  powerful  sorry,  for  I'd  no  idea 
a  'orspittlc  was  such  a  jolly  place.     Hope  I'll  git  another  ball 


96 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 


somewheres  easy,  so  I'll  come   back,  and  be  took  care  on 
again.     Mean,  ain't  it  ?" 

I  didn't  think  so,  but  the  doctrine  of  inglorious  ease  was 
not  the  the  right  one  to  preach  up,  so  I  tried  to  look  shocked, 
failed  signally,  and  consoled  myself  by  giving  him  the  fat 
pincushion  he  had  admired  as  the  u  cutest  little  machine 
agoin."  Then  they  fell  into  line  in  front  of  the  house,  looking 
rather  wan  and  feeble,  some  of  them,  but  trying  to  step  out 
smartly  and  march  in  good  order,  though  half  the  knapsacks 
were  carried  by  the  guard,  and  several  leaned  on  sticks  instead 
of  shouldering  guns.  All  looked  up  and  smiled,  or  waved 
heir  hands  and  touched  their  caps,  as  they  passed  under  our 
windows  down  the  long  street,  and  so  away,  some  to  their 
homes  in  this  world,  and  some  to  that  in  the  next ;  and,  for 
the  rest  of  the  day,  I  felt  like  Rachel  mourning  for  her 
children,  when  I  saw  the  empty  beds  and  missed  the  familiar 
faces. 

You  ask  if  nurses  are  obliged  to  witness  amputations  and 
such  matters,  as  a  part  of  their  duty  ?  I  think  not,  unless 
they  wish ;  for  the  patient  is  under  the  effects  of  ether,  and 
needs  no  care  but  such  as  the  surgeons  can  best  give.  Our 
work  begins  afterward,  when  the  poor  soul  comes  to  himself, 
sick,  faint,  and  wandering  ;  full  of  strange  pains  and  confused 
visions,  of  disagreeable  sensations  and  sights.  Then  we  must 
sooth  and  sustain,  tend  and  watch  ;  preaching  and  practicing 
patience,  till  sleep  and  time  have  restored  courage  and  self- 
control. 

I  witnessed  several  operations ;  for  the  height  of  my  ambition 
was  to  go  to  the  front  after  a  battle,  and  feeling  that  the  sooner 
I  inured  myself  to  trying  sights,  the  more  useful  I  should  be. 
Several  of  my  mates  shrunk  from  such  things  ;  for  though  the 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  97 

spirit  was  wholly  willing,  the  flesh  was  inconveniently  weak. 
One  funereal  lady  came  to  try  her  powers  as  a  nurse ;  but,  a 
brief  conversation  eliciting  the  facts  that  she  fainted  at  the 
sight  of  blood,  was  afraid  to  watch  alone,  couldn't  possibly 
take  care  of  delirious  persons,  was  nervous  about  infections, 
and  unable  to  bear  much  fatigue,  she  was  mildly  dismissed. 
I  hope  she  found  her  sphere,  but  fancy  a  comfortable  bandbox 
on  a  high  shelf  would  best  meet  the  requirements  of  her  case. 

Dr.  Z.  suggested  that  I  should  witness  a  dissection  ;  but  I 
never  accepted  his  invitations,  thinking  that  my  nerves  belonged 
to  the  living,  not  to  the  dead,  and  I  had  better  finish  my  educa- 
tion as  a  nurse  before  I  began  that  of  a  surgeon.  But  I 
never  met  the  little  man  skipping  through  the  hall,  with  oddly 
shaped  cases  in  his  hand,  and  an  absorbed  expression  of  coun- 
tenance, without  being  sure  that  a  select  party  of  surgeons 
were  at  work  in  the  dead  house,  which  idea  was  a  rather  trying 
one,  when  I  knew  the  subject  was  some  person  whom  I  had 
nursed  and  cared  for. 

But  this  must  not  lead  any  one  to  suppose  that  the  surgeons 
were  willfully  hard  or  cruel,  though  one  of  them  remorsefully 
confided  to  me  that  he  feared  his  profession  blunted  his  sensi- 
bilities, and,  perhaps,  rendered  him  indifferent  to  the  sight  of 
pain. 

I  am  iuclined  to  think  that  in  some  cases  it  does  ;  for,  though 
a  capital  surgeon  and  a  kindly  man,  Dr.  P.,  through  long 
acquaintance  with  many  of  the  ills  flesh  is  heir  to,  had  acquired 
a  somewhat  trying  habit  of  regarding  a  man  and  his  wound  as 
separate  institutions,  and  seemed  rather  annoyed  that  the 
former  should  express  any  opinion  upon  the  latter,  or  claim 
any  right  in  it,  while  under  his  care.  He  had  a  way  of 
twitching  off  a  bandage,  and  giving  a  limb  a  comprehensive 
sort  of  clutch,  which,  though  no  doubt  entirely  scientific,  was 


98  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

rather  startling  than  soothing,  and  highly  objectionable  as  a 
means  of  preparing  nerves  for  any  fresh  trial.  He  also 
expected  the  patient  to  assist  in  small  operations,  as  he  consid- 
ered them,  and  to  restrain  all  demonstrations  during  the 
process. 

"  Here,  my  man,  just  hold  it  this  way,  while  I  look  into  it 
a  bit,"  he  said  one  day  to  Fitz  G.,  putting  a  wounded  arm 
into  the  keeping  of  a  sound  one,  and  proceeding  to  poke 
about  among  bits  of  bone  and  visible  muscles,  in  a  red  and 
black  chasm  made  by  some  infernal  machine  of  the  shot  or 
shell  description.  Poor  Fitz  held  on  like  grim  Death,  ashamed 
to  show  fear  before  a  woman,  till  it  grew  more  than  he  could 
bear  in  silence  ;  and,  after  a  few  smothered  groans,  he  looked 
at  me  imploringly,  as  if  he  said,  "I  wouldn't,  ma'am,  if  I 
could  help  it,"  and  fainted  quietly  away. 

Dr.  P.  looked  up,  gave  a  compassionate  sort  of  cluck,  and 
poked  away  more  busily  than  ever,  with  a  nod  at  me  and  a 
brief —  "  Never  mind ;  be  so  good  as  to  hold  this  till  I  finish." 

I  obeyed,  cherishing  the  while  a  strong  desire  to  insinuate  a 
few  of  his  own  disagreeable  knives  and  scissors  into  him,  and 
see  how  he  liked  it.  A  very  disrespectful  and  ridiculous 
fancy,  of  course ;  for  he  was  doing  all  that  could  be  done, 
and  the  arm  prospered  finely  in  his  hands.  But  the  human 
mind  is  prone  to  prejudice  ;  and,  though  a  personable  man, 
speaking  French  like  a  born  "  Parley  voo,"  and  whipping  off 
legs  like  an  animated  guillotine,  I  must  confess  to  a  sense  of 
relief  when  he  was  ordered  elsewhere ;  and  suspect  that  several 
of  the  men  would  have  faced  a  rebel  battery  with  less  trepida- 
tion than  they  did  Dr.  P.,  when  he  came  briskly  in  on  his 
morning  round. 

As  if  to  give  us  the  pleasures  of  contrast,  Dr.  Z.  succeeded 
him,  who,  I  think,  suffered  more  in  giving  pain  than  did  his 


nOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  99 

patients  in  enduring  it ;  for  he  often  paused  to  ask:  "  Do  I 
hurt  you?"  and,  seeing  his  solicitude,  the  boys  invariably 
answered  :  "Not  much  ;  go  ahead,  Doctor,"  though  the  lips 
that  uttered  this  amiable  fib  might  be  white  with  pain  as  they 
spoke.  Over  the  dressing  of  some  of  the  wounds,  we  used 
to  carry  on  conversations  upon  subjects  foreign  to  the  work  in 
hand,  that  the  patient  might  forget  himself  in  the  charms  of 
our  discourse.  Christmas  eve  was  spent  in  this  way ;  the 
Doctor  strapping  the  little  Sergeant's  arm,  I  holding  the  lamp, 
while  all  three  laughed  and  talked,  as  if  anywhere  but  in  a 
hospital  ward  ;  except  when  the  chat  was  broken  by  a  long- 
drawn  "  Oh  !  "  from  "  Baby  B.,"  an  abrupt  request  from  the 
Doctor  to  "  Hold  the  lamp  a  little  higher,  please,"  or  an 
encouraging,  "  Most  through,  Sergeant,"  from  Nurse  P. 

The  chief  Surgeon,  Dr.  0.,  I  was  told,  refused  the  higher 
salary,  greater  honor,  and  less  labor,  of  an  appointment  to 
the  Officer's  Hospital,  round  the  corner,  that  he  might  serve 
the  poor  fellows  at  Hurlyburly  House,  or  go  to  the  front, 
working  there  day  and  night,  among  the  horrors  that  succeed 
the  glories  of  a  battle.  I  liked  that  so  much,  that  the  quiet, 
brown-eyed  Doctor  was  my  especial  admiration  ;  and  when  my 
own  turn  came,  had  more  faith  in  him  than  in  all  the  rest 
put  together,  although  he  did  advise  me  to  go  home,  and 
authorize  the  consumption  of  blue  pills. 

Speaking  of  the  surgeons  reminds  me  that,  having  found  all 
manner  of  fault,  it  becomes  me  to  celebrate  the  redeeming 
feature  of  Hurlyburly  House.  I  had  been  prepared  by  the 
accounts  of  others,  to  expect  much  humiliation  of  spirit  from 
the  surgeons,  and  to  be  treated  by  them  like  a  door-mat,  a 
worm,  or  any  other  meek  and  lowly  article,  whose  mission  it 
is  to  be  put  down  and  walked  upon  ;  nurses  being  considered 
as  mere  servants,  receiving  the  lowest  pay,  and,  it's  my  private 


100  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

opinion,  doing  the  hardest  work  of  any  part  of  the  army, 
except  the  mules.  Great,  therefore,  was  my  surprise,  when  I 
found  myself  treated  with  the  utmost  courtesy  and  kindness. 
Very  soon  my  carefully  prepared  meekness  was  laid  upon  the 
shelf ;  and,  going  from  one  extreme  to  the  other,  I  more  than 
once  expressed,  a  difference  of  opinion  regarding  sundry  messes 
it  was  my  painful  duty  to  administer. 

As  eight  of  us  nurses  chanced  to  be  off  duty  at  once,  we 
had  an  excellent  opportunity  of  trying  the  virtues  of  these 
gentlemen  ;  and  I  am  bound  to  say  they  stood  the  test  admi- 
rably, as  far  as  my  personal  observation  went.  Dr.  O.'s 
stethescope  was  unremitting  in  its  attentions  ;  Dr.  S.  brought 
his  buttons  into  my  room  twice  a  day,  with  the  regularity  of  a 
medical  clock  ;  while  Dr.  Z.  filled  my  table  with  neat  little 
bottles,  which  I  never  emptied,  prescribed  Browning,  bedewed 
me  with  Cologne,  and  kept  my  fire  going,  as  if,  like  the  candles 
in  St.  Peter's,  it  must  never  be  permitted  to  die  out.  Waking, 
one  cold  night,  with  the  certainty  that  my  last  spark  had  pined 
away  and  died,  and  consequently  hours  of  coughing  were  in 
store  for  me,  I  was  much  amazed  to  see  a  ruddy  light  dancing 
on  the  wall,  a  jolly  blaze  roaring  up  the  chimney,  and,  down 
upon  his  knees  before  it,  Dr.  Z.,  whittling  shavings.  I  ought 
to  have  risen  up  and  thanked  him  on  the  spot;  but,  knowing 
that  he  was  one  of  those  who  like  to  do  good  by  stealth,  I 
only  peeped  at  him  as  if  he  were  a  friendly  ghost ;  till,  having 
made  things  as  cozy  as  the  most  motherly  of  nurses  could 
have  done,  he  crept  away,  leaving  me  to  feel,  as  somebody 
says,  "as  if  angels  were  a  watching  of  me  in  my  sleep ;" 
though  that  species  of  wild  fowl  do  not  usually  descend  in 
broadcloth  and  glasses.  I  afterwards  discovered  that  he  split 
the  wood  himself  on  that  cool  January  midnight,  and  went 
about  making  or  mending  fires  for  the  poor  old  ladies  in  their 


HOSPITAL    SKETCHES.  101 

dismal  dens  ;  thus  causing  himself  to  be  felt  —  a  bright  and 
shining  light  in  more  ways  than  one.  I  never  thanked  him 
as  I  ought ;  therefore,  I  publicly  make  a  note  of  it,  and  further 
aggravate  that  modest  M.  D.  by  saying  that  if  this  was  not 
being  the  best  of  doctors  and  the  gentlest  of  gentlemen,  I  shall 
be  happy  to  see  any  improvement  upon  it. 

To  such  as  wish  to  know  where  these  scenes  took  place,  I 
must  respectfully  decline  to  answer ;  for  Hurly-burly  House 
has  ceased  to  exist  as  a  hospital ;  so  let  it  rest,  with  all  its 
sins  upon  its  head,  —  perhaps  I  should  say  chimney  top. 
When  the  nurses  felt  ill,  the  doctors  departed,  and  the  patients 
got  well,  I  believe  the  concern  gently  faded  from  existence,  or 
was  merged  into  some  other  and  better  establishment,  where  I 
hope  the  washing  of  three  hundred  sick  people  is  done  out  of 
the  house,  the  food  is  eatable,  and  mortal  women  are  not 
expected  to  possess  an  angelic  exemption  from  all  wants,  and 
the  endurance  of  truck  horses. 

Since  the  appearance  of  these  hasty  Sketches,  I  have  heard 
from  several  of  my  comrades  at  the  Hospital ;  and  their 
approval  assures  me  that  I  have  not  let  sympathy  and  fancy 
run  away  with  me,  as  that  lively  team  is  apt  to  do  when 
harnessed  to  a  pen.  As  no  two  persons  see  the  same  thing 
with  the  same  eyes,  my  view  of  hospital  life  must  be  taken 
through  my  glass,  and  held  for  what  it  is  worth.  Certainly, 
nothing  was  set  down  in  malice,  and  to  the  serious-minded 
party  who  objected  to  a  tone  of  levity  in  some  portions  of  the 
Sketches,  I  can  only  say  that  it  is  a  part  of  my  religion  to 
look  well  after  the  cheerfulnesses  of  life,  and  let  the  dismals 
shift  for  themselves  ;  believing,  with  good  Sir  Thomas  More, 
that  it  is  wise  to  "  be  merrie  in  God." 

The  next  hospital  I  enter  will,  I  hope,  be  one  for  the 
colored  regiments,  as  they  seem  to  be  proving  their  right  to 


102  HOSPITAL    SKETCHES. 

the  admiration  and  kind  offices  of  their  white  relations,  who 
owe  them  so  large  a  debt,  a  little  part  of  which  I  shall  be  so 
proud  to  pay. 

Yours, 

With  a  firm  faith 

In  the  good  time  coming, 

Tribulation  Periwinkle. 


NEW       PUBLICATION. 


Ready  September  1. 


SPEECHES,    LECTURES, 

AND 

LETTERS: 

B  Y 

WENDELL   PHILLIPS. 


Fourth    Edition. 


In  One  Vol.,  crown  octavo,  pp.  570;  printed  on  clear  new  type,  and  the 
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with  gilt  tops,  and  illuminated  title ;  and  illustrated  with  an  excellent  portrait 
of  Mr.  Phillips,  on  steel,  by  H.  Wright  Smith,  of  Boston. 


PRICE  S2, 


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The  following  is  a  table  of  the 

CONTENTS  OF  THE  VOLUME : 

I.  Publisher's  Advertisement,  containing  a  Letter  from  Mr.  Phillips. 

II.  The  Murder  of  Lovejoy.  Mr.  Phillips'  first  Speech  in  Boston,  delivered  De- 
cember 8, 1837,  which  at  once  established  his  fame  as  one  of  the  ablest  of  living 
orators. 

III.  Woman's  Plights.  Speech  at  Worcester,  October  15, 1851,  with  the  Resolu- 
tions,  embodying  the  whole  philosophy  of  the  Woman's  Bights  Movement,  prepared 
and  presented  by  Mr.  Phillips. 

IV.  Public  Opinion.    Delivered  January  28, 1852. 

V.  Surrender  of  Sims.    January  30, 1852. 

VI.  Sims'  Anniversary.    April  12,  1852. 

VII.  Philosophy  of  the  Abolition  Movement.    January  27, 1853. 

VIII.  Removal  of  Judge  Loring.    February  20,  1855. 

IX.  The  Boston  Mob.    October  21, 1855. 

X.  The  Pilgrims.    December  21, 1855. 

XI.  Letter  to  Judge  Shaw  and  President  Walker.    August  1, 1859. 
Xn.    Idols.    October  4, 1859. 

XIII.  Harper's  Ferry.    November  1,  1859. 

XIV.  Burial  of  John  Brown.  Delivered  at  the  Grave  of  the  Martyr,  December 
8,1859. 

XV.  Lincoln's  Election.    November  7,  1860. 

XVI.  Mobs  and  Education.    December  21, 1860. 

XVII.  Disunion.    January  20,  1861. 

XVIII.  Progress.    February  17,  1S61. 

XIX.  Under  the  Flag.    April  21, 1861. 

XX.  The  War  for  the  Union.    December,  1861. 

XXI.  The  Cabinet.    August  1, 1862. 

XXII.  Letter  to  the  New  York  Tribune.    August  16, 1862. 

XXIII.  Toussaint  L'Ouverture.    December,  1861. 

XXIV.  A  Metropolitan  Police.    April  25,  1863. 

XXV.  The  State  of  the  Country.    May  11, 1863. 


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